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RUCHIRA GHOSH

Am a trained and experienced features writer with 25 plus years of experience .My favourite subjects are women's issues, food travel, art,culture ,literature et all.Am a true feminist at heart. An iconoclast and near atheist I steer clear of major part of social practices customs dogmas and superstitions. Love to drink life to the dregs

Voice of RUCHIRA GHOSH

Want To Be Footloose And Fancy Free? Wait For Your Menopause, Like Me!

Menopause was such a relief, let me tell you. I felt light and free like a bird. As this new realisation began to sink in, I chalked out my travel plans with greater gusto.

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Battered Abandoned and Homeless, She Ultimately Found a Home of Her Own

Bobby grew repentant, remorseful. Confessing that her innate craving for happiness and stability had weakened her, she promised to turn over a new leaf.

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To Have Those Men Leching At Me….I Was Filled With Revulsion!

Aren’t these very men taught to 'behave decently' with their female relatives? Then can't they put that to use and leave strangers alone?!

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The Indian Obsession With The Phallus, From A Baby Boy To Older Guys…

Believe me I was shocked, aghast, disgusted to be watching such bizarre, mindless activities day in and day out.

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Feminism Made Me Realize I Must DEMAND My Rights And Privileges Else I’d Never Get Them

She gave me an invaluable tip, “Even if you have a family to take care of, it is you who must take care of yourself and your acute personal needs. Remember, even the most conscientious of spouses and offsprings have their shortcomings

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Why Can’t I Have A Crush At 50?! What Does Age Have To Do With It?

Moral guardians of society and cynical individuals label me a pervert, a woman of easy virtue, and so on. Many tauntingly quiz me - “Iss umar mein?” (at this age?)

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I Am A ‘Bad’ Wife. I Hit Back When My Husband Beat Me…

They believed that a bahu is supposed to conduct herself no better than a doormat, should never 'argue' with elderly folk, and stoically accept all their actions, whether right or wrong.

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Go Corona Go, Let Sanity Prevail!

Dear Corona, enough is enough. Please leave us alone and let sanity prevail once again. It's time for you to go corona!

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When My Widowed Aunt Decided To Get Married Again, Family Members Had Issues With It…

As they were often seen together in public, our family got more peeved. My grandmother branded her own daughter as a shameless slut. As if she was committing adultery, even though she was a widow with no husband around.

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Letter From A Feminist Mom To Her Daughter As She Steps Into The Future

There shall be no interference or dominance on our part. Both your Papa and myself have had stormy lives. We sincerely wish you to be...

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My Diaries Have Always Been My Safe Space, And Here’s Why They Always Will Be

What do you do when you don't have someone you can pour out your feelings to? You take out your book, a pen- and write.

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Feminist Or Not A Feminist – Should I Really Be Boxing Myself?

But yes I do not subscribe to the ultra-feminist concepts like 'burning bras’ (I feel comfortable wearing them) or attempting to pee like men.

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Why Must Girls Give Up Their Dreams, Their Passion After Marriage?

Every day, women are being coerced into giving up their dreams, their passion, when they get married. Simply because - how can a married woman do this?

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When A Friend’s Elderly Husband Made Me Uncomfortable By Ogling When I Was At Her Home

Here is an appeal: Dear Men, please let us live our lives in ease comfort and peace. Your unwarranted attention makes us (women) feel as though we are no better than objects of lust.

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We’re An Odd Couple Often Fighting, Yet After So Many Yrs Of Marriage We Can’t Do Without One Another…

You’ve got to believe me when I say that even during the initial, heady days of our marriage, he was neither effusive nor demonstrative.

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My MIL Was Stingy About Giving Me Lunch…But A Kind Colleague Shared Her Food With Me!

After some time, unable to bear it any longer, I signed off from the home lunch. My MIL must've heaved a sigh of relief because my portion of groceries would be saved!

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Looking Back At 2021: Corona Struggles & Little Victories!

2021 was hard on many families. Ruchira Ghosh narrates her ordeal - but also the silver lining that emerged from it.

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Why Should Men Be Served Food First Always?

I read this highly interesting article on this very forum in which the author queries as to why hot food should be the prerogative of men? I am on the same page with her and pose a more intense query - why should men always be served first?

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3 Women (Other Than My Mom) Who Loved Me Unconditionally And Have Defined Who I Am Today

Three women who loved me, and showed their love openly, whom I lost too early. They've left behind only memories, which I must put down.

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How My Sibling Ruined The Lives Of Two Women

Rekha filed a case for divorce accusing her husband of infidelity. Meanwhile, my parents began receiving blank calls and even death threats.

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outdated wedding rituals
Illogical, Thoughtless, Outdated Wedding Rituals Like These Are… Appalling Today!

Daughters are NOT things to give away, nor are they in any DEBT to their parents. Time to chuck outdated wedding rituals; move with the times. 

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The Road Not Taken – A Tale of Missed Chances and What Ifs…

Did he love me...did he not? This puzzle was solved years later, but...

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When A Bachelor Married A Widow With A Child 60 Yrs Ago, Unheard Of In Indian Society Then Or Now…

Asha contributed substantially to the family’s income. Therefore, to lose her would mean losing the proverbial goose that laid golden eggs.

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covid jab
How I Almost Died After My 1st Vaccine Jab For COVID

I had a serious, life threatening reaction to the 1st jab of Covishield, and I'm thankful just to be alive and recovering, though I'm still wondering...

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After Our Marriage Was Fixed & Declared To The World, He Said He Couldn’t Marry Outside Community

Caste, religion, and region hold a lot of prominence in a marriage alliance. It’s difficult to find open-minded people. And, sometimes when found, it might just be a sham!

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only girl
‘Only Girl?’ 4 Couples Who Refused To Be Daunted By This Intrusive Desi Question

In a society that penalises its women if they give birth to girls and devalues its daughters, a choice to have an only girl child is revolutionary.

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widowing ceremony
Hindu Widowing Ceremony Is Downright Brutal; Yet Refuses To Die Out In Places

The Hindu widowing ceremony is one of the our women's special trauma making traditions for our those who are already in a traumatic situation.

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How Unfair Is It That Only Wives Address Their Husbands As ‘Aap’!

For years, women have been conditioned to call their husbands 'aap,' while they are being called 'tu.' Will this discrimination ever end?

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The Curious Case Of Bahus Having To Maintain Distance From Their Husband’s Male Relatives

Indian bahus have far too many rules imposed on them - including 'staying away' from their husband's male relatives. Ever wondered why?

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As A New Bride, I Was Expected To Have Sparkling Teeth & No Voice Or Urges!

From checking whether I had body odour to judging my gait and clothes, as a new bride, I suffered endless ordeals in the first few days!

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Stop Behaving Like Couples Choosing Not To Have Kids Are Committing A Sin!

Couples choosing the DINK (Double income no kids) life is quite popular now. It's time we accepted parenting isn't the all that couples seek!

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Not All Stepmoms Are Wicked; My Step Daadi Was An Extraordinary Woman!

The author recalls her grandmother who wasn't related to her by blood - her father's stepmother - but who was an extraordinary and loving woman.

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Why Are Indian Wives Mocked If They Want To ‘Doll Up’ Post Motherhood?!

Why do Indians, especially husbands, make fun of their wives for having an interest in grooming, dressing up, make-up, etc., once they have kids?

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Why Do Men Hate Doing Domestic Chores Even When Their Wives Are Overburdened?

Men feeling their egos are challenged. Mothers feeling their precious sons should not be imposed upon. Result - men won't do household chores.

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2020 Was Bad For Us As A Family But Sometimes Adversity Can Be Surprisingly Sweet!

While realising that she was privileged enough to escape the worst of the pandemic, the author speaks of how they coped with another related disaster.

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Though My FIL Was A Doctor, The Women In My Sasural Were Incredibly Superstitious!

My father-in-law was a doctor, however, my husband's family was incredibly superstitious and indulged certain peculiar practices!

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The Sailor I Met Years Ago Was Unsure About Commitment But Was Okay With Unlimited Dating

Years ago, I met a sailor who I believed was 'The One' for me. Unfortunately, he wanted to date casually and I wanted something serious...

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My Colleague Was Interested In Me, But Our Students And Other Colleagues Only Hounded Us!

One of my colleagues at school and I shared a beautiful friendship. Unfortunately, rumours were spread leading to us having to part ways.

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We Had Barely Got Acquainted When The Fellow Started Acting Fresh With Me…

Perhaps he had expected I would jump into bed with him. Who knows? Unable to evoke any response from me he gave it up, saying that I was so inhibited; I was good for nothing!

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Why Can Only Fair Be Lovely, With Lighter Skinned Women Literally ‘Prized’ Like Objects?

Is fairness the be-all and end-all of life? Is it fairness, and nothing else besides, that makes women attractive, desirable and eligible for love?

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Why Should Parents And ‘Maaika’ Be Dragged In Every Time A Bride Makes A Mistake?

Why are most Indian brides scrutinised by in-laws and expected to be 'perfect' in everything they do, otherwise it is all their parents' fault?

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I Was Labelled A Greedy Pig And More Because My In-Laws Thought I Ate Too Much

In my marital home, if I asked for more food than my usual intake, my MIL and SIL would scream at me and call me a greedy glutton or a pig!

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‘Kalmuhi’ To ‘Karamjali’ Why Do Women Curse Other Women Especially When Expressing Anger?

From calling women names to cursing them a life of bad-luck, it is an interesting phenomenon of women cursing other women, especially their DILs.

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new couple
Imagine As A New Couple Living With Only Flimsy Curtains Separating You From In-Laws…

So many in India live in joint or extended families and small homes, with the only privacy a couple gets is by hanging curtains or mosquito nets.

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I Knew My Parents Loved Me But Their Attitude Towards Me Was Violent And Flawed…

My parents were extremely affectionate and epitome of harshness in the same breath. They gave me a harrowing time through my adolescent years.

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Kanika Banerjee: Worth Her Weight In Gold

Kanika’s world revolved around music; she ate, drank, slept and dreamt music.

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Say Goodbye To Prawn Cravings With These Bengali Chingri Dishes!

While you're stuck at home in isolation, cooking could be a great way to bond with the family. And what better than Bengali prawn recipes to do so!

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If You’re A Chutney Lover, This Bengali Papaya Chutney Is A Must Try For You!

If you thought Bengali cuisine was all about rice and fish, this unique papaya chutney recipe will correct your misconceptions!

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Shaking Orthodoxy To The Core, Aparna Sen’s Heroines Refuse To Bow Down And Be Doormats!

Aparna Sen's heroines (and movies) take on the prevailing orthodoxies of Indian cinema - often with sisterhood at their very core.

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I Decided Early On To Defy Absurd Social Norms For Women, And I’ve Done Quite OK, I Think!

If all women showed the same confidence as the author of this piece, feminism will have achieved its goal. Do read this personal account of a life well spent.

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Why I Will Never Advocate Matrimony As The ‘Ultimate Goal’ For Women

Marriages have always been 'mandatory' in our culture, but singlehood is so much better than living in an abusive or even loveless marriage! 

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Have You Been Called ‘Aunty’ By A Young Something? Time To Take Offence, For These Reasons

Age is just a number, and branding a woman as an 'aunty' because of her marital status, presence of children, greying hair, looks, etc., is just not done.

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Their Bond Survived…Till Death Parted Them

A heart-warming love story that stood the test of time and lasted a lifetime. 

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When I received An Indecent Proposal…

I candidly confess that I have not been lucky in love though I have had my fair share of relationships. But, this particular incident left me shellshocked!

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Gauhar Jaan
The First Indian Woman To Record Her Music, Gauhar Jaan Paved The Way For Future Singers

Gauhar Jaan. The name conjures up almost mythical images of courtly splendour, Hindustani classical music, and gramophone records. Who was she, and what is her story?

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Kanan Bala: The First Singing Star Of Indian Cinema

The first female singing star of India's cine world, Kanan Bala led a tumultuous, eventful life, that inspired an entire generation of playback singers.

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sexuality
“Sex Is Enjoyable, Not Despicable!” Here’s What Ancient Indians Had To Say About It

Even if often patriarchal in its focus on male pleasure, ancient Indian attitudes to sexuality were far from restrictive. An insightful read.

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first flame
I Wanted To Marry My First Flame, But He Wanted His Ex-Wife’s Approval For Our Marriage!

I had loved him from afar as a teenager, and carried a flame for him for years. Now when I was engaged to my first flame, he wanted his ex-wife's approval!

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problems of joint families
The Modern, Millennial Bahu In A Traditional Joint Family. Does It Work?

What are the problems that modern daughters-in-law face in joint families? What are the problems of joint families in today's times? A daughter-in-law muses from experience.

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altar of marriage
She Was My Cousin. She Was A Victim At The Altar Of Marriage

This is the sordid tale of an ill-fated girl who died an untimely death. She looked for happiness, but was sacrificed by a patriarchal society on the altar of marriage.

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Indian society
Here’s Proof Of Male Privilege In India’s ‘Glorious Past’ – Why Should Men Have All The Fun Even Now?

Indian society has been biased towards its boys and men since all our known history, as can be gleaned from mythology and sacred scriptures, as well as historical records.

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superstitions
Do Not Let These Superstitions Cramp Your Style. Believe In A Rational Self Instead!

Despite this being the new millennium, we Indians still believe in a lot of superstitions which are mostly do not make any sense. What about you?

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