As A Newly-Wed Bride, I Refuse To Accept The Tradition Of Waking Up Early

Why do most mothers-in-law have such a huge issue with their overworked daughters-in-law sleeping in late?

Mrs  Pakrashi is a veteran teacher in an elite school in Kolkata.

At home, she has a dedicated housekeeping team as well as kitchen staff.

Nevertheless, this gracious lady doesn’t miss any opportunity to snub her two bahus if she catches them waking up late.

Prioritising culture over personal health

Rita, the older one is a corporate executive, while Vibha, the younger one, is a professional makeup artist. Owing to the exigencies of their jobs they return home pretty late and quite naturally oversleep the next morning. The sasu maa reportedly told her cronies, “This is our sanskaar, and they must be disciplined occasionally or else they  will run amuck.”

Kanta Saxena, a middle-aged housewife and a school dropout quips, “Bahus must understand that badey buzurg (the aged) look forward to personal sewa and bahu ke haath ki roti. It is the sentiment that matters. Otherwise, even cooks can roll out rotis.”

She adds after a pause, “If bahus don’t wake up early, how will they manage the entire day’s meals?”

What’s the harm in letting overworked women get their much-needed rest?

Let us do some plain talking. Whether overt or muted, the “late rising bahu” syndrome, is a bête noir of the Indian moms-in-law brigade. Period. Personally, I have been unable to figure out what is the problem with these venerable, senior ladies if their sons’ wives oversleep.

Now I am sure many people might agree with me that in our society, by and large, any kind of public display of affection and/or intimacy between couples (especially newlyweds) is sternly censored. The youngsters must be on the best behaviour in front of the elders, lest they be branded as brazen.

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Let’s understand this deeper

So what’s the way out?

It boils down to this: The couples will be able to get some private space and intimacy, only in their bedrooms, behind closed doors. Would it be wrong to assume that such hard-won privacy will open floodgates of passion and emotions?

Without delving into personal lives, it is pretty obvious that couples spend the wee hours of the night whispering sweet nothings, conversing in hushed tones.

Quite naturally, at daybreak, they are likely to be fast asleep. Sadly, this apparently innocent act of theirs is enough to invite the ire of fastidious sasu maas who consider it as the height of indiscipline. For them, the “adarsh bahu” is one who awakes at the crack of dawn and, after ablutions, heads to the prayer room and /or the kitchen, and plunges headlong into the service of the khandaan-serving piping hot breakfast, packing tiffins, rounding off with a few dishes for lunch.

There are instances where the bahu efficiently manages to discharge her household duties despite late awakening-yet raving & ranting continues.

What’s with the lack of empathy and understanding?

Come on, ladies, have a heart. Isn’t the poor young thing spending quality time with your son? Giving him and enjoying his company to the best of her abilities? After all, your son is her top priority. (Haven’t they vowed to live together lifelong?)

Look at it with scientific rationale: sleep is a part of the daily life cycle of living beings, a physiological process like any other. Hope you realize that an individual’s sleeping pattern is to a great extent affected by hormone circulation. As we are aware, every woman has her highs and lows on a regular pattern.

In that case, snatching a few extra hours of sleep is not a crime, is it?

Image source: CanvaPro

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Am a trained and experienced features writer with 25 plus years of experience .My favourite subjects are women's issues, food travel, art,culture ,literature et all.Am a true feminist at heart. An iconoclast read more...

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