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By and large Indian girls on the threshold of matrimony are advised : Honour obey and respect your life partner . Though the concepts of pati parameshwar, devta are passé’ and redundant now, yet the vital point i.e. obedience still holds sway over people’s minds. It is rather commonplace for brides-to-be to be told: The groom is older than you are, mature, knows the ways of the world, he will look after you, he has your welfare at heart. So listen to what he says, there will be peace and harmony at home. (By elderly aunts, neighbours, moms etal)
Logical .But a tiny question at this juncture: Isn’t it a uphill task for a newly-wed bride to become obedient to a stranger at the drop of a hat, someone who you know little or almost nothing about.
Let me tell you I underwent similar experiences right after our shaadi almost three decades ago. The first thing that the hubby told right after the first week was to clip my fingernails. He confessed he hated long nails. Luckily I didn’t sport long ones even during my bachelor days. So I had narrow escape. However since them I’ve never had long nails nor even those nails extensions and stuff.
The next embargo came a few years later. During that period (hugely) backless choli type blouses were in vogue. I was planning to get a couple tailor made. When I informed him (to keep him in the loop) he refused point “ That’s bad taste according to me,” he said adding further “ You are my wife now hence it is your duty to dress in a manner that I find tasteful.” All this when I was a working girl and never touched him for money! Can you believe till date I don’t possess such a blouse in my wardrobe. Though backless blouses aren’t hot anymore yet plenty of women still flaunt them. “They will go out of fashion and your money will be wasted,” he had cautioned. Observing that nothing of the sort happened, the partner has piped down.
Since long I wore my hair short in “steps” cut. Post marriage the womenfolk in the sasural began grumbling about my hair style complaining that it did not suit a newlywed bahu. According to the females of this particular species ought to have “fairly” long hair. Often I wanted to yell : Why didn’t you guys indulge in nitpicking before the negotiations were finalized. Did you turn blind then? In reality my partner bullied, threatened and blackmailed me (in low voice and polite lexicon. He is smart one!) constantly till I was disgusted and stopped visiting ladies’ salon ! For a few years at least.
All said and done though he has been overall good husband I shall never forgive him for being so imperious.
Am a trained and experienced features writer with 30 plus years of experience .My favourite subjects are women's issues, food travel, art,culture ,literature et all.Am a true feminist at heart. An iconoclast read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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