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Tolstoy opens his world famous novel, Anna Karenina with this sensational line.”All happy families are alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” As the drama of my personal life unfolded over the past few years (five to be precise) I have realized how right the Savant was!
Me an independent woman being humiliated for every morsel I consume. That is the status quo in my life at the moment. I don’t completely blame my family for this … but couldn’t they at least try and be a little more sympathetic and humane?
Well, it began this way. I lost my job nearly ten years ago. The world virtually came tumbling down for me, so to speak. Nevertheless I managed to bounce back by means of a major investment which I had made some time earlier. Four years down the line, my daughter graduated as a physiotherapist and forthwith got a lucrative placement. So far so good. However haven’t we all heard that “When sorrows come they come in battalions…” For starts, the private party i.e our investment agent suddenly began to play hooky. Monthly installments (of the interest accrued) began to grow rarer with passage of time. Now this didn’t go down with my family. After all everyone loves money. Don’t they? Call it misfortune or sheer coincidence, around that time the finances of the private company my partner worked in began to flounder. Delayed salary, slashed salary became the order of the day. In a desperate move he asked the daughter for support. Now this offspring of ours is a sly one . She detested this sudden turn of events, but didn’t have the heart to refuse her dear Papa. So this clandestine deal was clinched while I hadn’t the slightest inkling. Again shall I term it my ill-luck she decided to vent her ire discontent and angst on poor Me.
My fault? being totally unaware of the intra-family nexus…i made simple nakhras /demands like a couple of extra dishes for meals … takeaway dinner because I was feeling sluggish etc …the duo mocked me in unison “paise kon dega tera baap?” On one occasion I handed out a few cookies to the maid. The irate young lady jumped into the fray ” You shameless hussy,you are sponging on me and having a party?” I am sure the retreating maid must have heard it clearly In the post-nexus phase I had unwittingly committed a few more blunders: attended the wedding of my best friend’s daughter en famille… entertaining a long-lost-and-found teenage friend whom I met after forty years! I have been practicing Nichiren ‘s Buddhism for many years now…and had the audacity to buy its scripture Gosho which was a tad expensive. For these faux pas I am blasted day in and day out invariably at family times, even now. Hard to believe but quite often in the absence of the lady Annadata (self proclaimed) I begged the husband for an extra tomato, a whole onion, a dash of lemon etc to pep up my bland meal. But he would not budge an inch. Such is his unwavering loyalty to his daughter who was providing him his bread!
It is indeed a cruel irony of fate that my contribution to the family when I was regularly employed was convincingly forgotten during these hard times. Moreover I still receive the long delayed amount from the nefarious investor– if not monthly at least three to five times a year – which goes to fill their bellies and cater to their petty needs. What ingratitude!!
To escape being overweight I still.follow a diet regimen which requires items like eggs oats brown rice. The duo don’t eat eggs…hence I am ridiculed for extravaganza each time I reach out for one. A quick rewind: The long dead pater familias ie My father in law (pbuh) had laid down a Diet code: Simple frugal meals,pulses, roti, rice, potato as the staple veggie, fish once in a blue moon, negligible dairy etc. And above all “ Same stuff and same portion for each member. If A doesn’t eat X and B doesnt’ eat Y both will be taken off the menu even if other diners need it acutely.” Amazing how his children and grandchildren faithfully (read mercilessly) adhere to this even now.
Often I shed silent tears as to how harmony and domestic peace of my conjugal life gets shattered due to financial crises and some outmoded ideas. But no…I must not crib or complain…after all I am an adarsh Bharatiya Nari…and must ADJUST understand all circumstances. For that is my Paramo Dharma….
Am a trained and experienced features writer with 25 plus years of experience .My favourite subjects are women's issues, food travel, art,culture ,literature et all.Am a true feminist at heart. An iconoclast read more...
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If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
Smita shuddered. She knew the repercussions. She would have to hear sarcastic comments from her mother-in-law for visiting her mother. She may make these comments directly only a bit, but her servants would be flooded with the words, “How horrible she is! She leaves me and goes!”
Maybe Animal is going to make Ranbir the superstar he yearns to be, but is this the kind of legacy his grandfather and granduncles would wish for?
I have no intention of watching Animal. I have heard it’s acting like a small baby screaming and yelling for attention. However, I read some interesting reviews which gave away the original, brilliant and awe-inspiring plot (was that sarcastic enough?), and I don’t really need to go watch it to have an informed opinion.
A little boy craves for his father’s love but doesn’t get it so uses it as an excuse to kill a whole bunch of people when he grows up. Poor paapa (baby) what else could he do?
I was wondering; if any woman director gets inspired by this movie and replicates this with a female protagonist, what would happen?. Oh wait, that’s the story of so many women in this world. Forget about not giving them love, you have fathers who try to kill their daughters or sell them off or do other equally despicable things.
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