What actions should HR and business leaders take to curb mental harassment at work? Share your thoughts.
Why do Indians, especially husbands, make fun of their wives for having an interest in grooming, dressing up, make-up, etc., once they have kids?
Let me tell you I was deeply hurt.
Agreed that I was 32 and the mother of a three year old daughter. There was nothing to stop me from wearing a stylish new sari, or decking myself up to go to a social-do. Moreover the sari, a lovely jamdaani booti was a gift from my paternal uncle.
But I foolishly asked my husband how I looked. “What looks? You are already a budhhi (old woman)!” he shot back.
My world crumbled; I was woebegone. If he was joking, it was not my kind of humour; I wanted to scream, but desisted.
Such instances are not hard to come by.
My cousin Ruby, in her late 40’s and a mother of two, has begun to bald slightly as it runs in the family; to arrest it she consulted a doctor who suggested a serum plus vitamin tablets.
Hearing of this, her husband mocked her. “What are you up to?’ he queried, “switching husbands or planning to catwalk on the ramp?” he commented sardonically. The poor girl burst into tears.
Tia’s experience is far worse. A buxom 50 year old with sharp features and good complexion, she loves to wear light make-up. But again, her spouse makes caustic remarks comparing her to street-walkers. Ironically she is a working woman earning enough to buy her own stuff.
Her mother-in-law advises her to “stay simple” since (she feels) cosmetics make her look ‘coquettish’ which does not behove a middle-aged bahu. And that too when she has a 25 year old eligible daughter! Obviously the “log kya kahenge” (adverse public opinion) comes to the forefront!
Tia is so disgusted that she has toned down her use of make-up to minimal except on special occasions.
I recall getting tongue lashings from my mother-in-law on two occasions when I had left a sleeping baby and gone for a haircut. The baby woke up and began whining which vexed her no end, and of course she gave a earful to me.
I cannot for dear life figure out as to why married women are expected to put their commonest habits, pastime, and grooming on the back burner once they have had children? Having one child or more does not necessarily mean we’re no longer interested in dressing up.
By the way do kids always prove to be a hindrance in beauty pursuits? Nah. I am sure arrangements can jolly well be made for other adult family members (dad too had better do his part in parenting), or even a domestic help to mind the babies for a while so that the mothers can go ahead with whatever they want to do in their me-time.
And once the children begin to grow up, they may give their moms new ideas and tips, and it can become a way to bond!
Image source: a still from the film Lipstick Under My Burkha
Am a trained and experienced features writer with 25 plus years of experience .My favourite subjects are women's issues, food travel, art,culture ,literature et all.Am a true feminist at heart. An iconoclast read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Are you an environmentalist looking for women-owned sustainable products to support? Here are 5 sustainability business led by Indian women!
5 Sustainability Business In India Run By Women!
Are you an environmentalist looking for women-owned sustainable products to support?
Do you wish to show your support for the women killing it in the world of business, but also don’t want to shop for non-sustainable products? We have the solution for you- women-owned sustainable businesses.
Please enter your email address