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When Newly-weds Go on Their Honeymoon Why Do Families tag along??

My cousin Nipa married exactly forty years ago. The   husband’s clan has been loving, understanding and cooperative till date.   But  Nipa  recalls, she nearly  jumped  out of her skin  when she heard that her  spouse Tapan’s parents, his two siblings  besides two spinster aunts would accompany them The   doting sasuma told   Nipa  “ I have long desired  to  visit Puri  to  have a darshan (glimpse)  of   Sri  Jagannatha, en famille, but it never materialized. Now  that   you  two are  going,   hope  you  don’t  mind  if we accompany  you.”  To save   the situation  she promptly  said “ yes  why not?”  The lady was delighted and heaped benedictions on her.

Forty years   later, not much  seems to   have  changed. There is this doctor friend of mine  who  got hitched  a  few  months ago. The couple  planned to spend their honeymoon in the idyllic environs of  Shillong, Meghalaya. However his mother kicked up a fuss. “ Through these 32 years  babu (the son) has never traveled anywhere  without me. With him away even for a little  time, I  will  suffer   from insomnia,” she concluded.  The loving son forthwith roped her in. And Daddy too, since he would be helpless    without mommy.  Now, in what may seem a coincidence, the new bride’s parents were booked for a business trip abroad, almost at the same time. Naturally the ‘baby sister’ had no option but to latch  onto the ‘big sister’ and her spouse. Soon after,  a  “middle aged” couple  who  happened to  be  family   friends  also decided to  join the bandwagon.

The more the merrier   goes the adage. At  a  cursory  glance  the picture  seems to  be  rosy  and  fun-filled.  However there were undercurrents of disappointment.  Nipa reminisces, “We had to be alert and well-behaved    all the time. There was no scope for  letting  down  our guards, indulge in frivolities,  PDA   and  all that kind  of  stuff.” She added        as an afterthought “ my favourite  swimsuit  stayed put in the s suitcase.. i had  no chance of wearing it.”

On her  part,  the   doctor’s  wife  quips “ We had to  devote   all our attention  to  my  sister, so that  she would  not feel neglected  or jealous.  We had a triple sharing room; while we sisters slept on the bed, the  poor fellow slept on a mattress on the   floor…”

To  me, these seem outrageous. Preposterous  to say the least.   Why  do  grown-ups/ adults/guardians not  realize that  newly-wed youngsters need personal space, uninterrupted  privacy;   to indulge in sex and  physical intimacies, to discover and  understand one another. And  most important of all,  to plan and make  babies. Yes  I sound  tad  gross. Now  Let me put it more brazenly:  Parents of newly-weds appear to be in a tearing hurry to have grand babies.  Humane.   But  the  moot  point is- if    you  don’t   leave  the   couples alone,   where will they  make babies?   On  the living  room  couch?


About the Author


Am a trained and experienced features writer with 25 plus years of experience .My favourite subjects are women's issues, food travel, art,culture ,literature et all.Am a true feminist at heart. An iconoclast read more...

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