My Husband’s Sister Nearly Pushed Us Towards Divorce!

As I was a working mother, Rima took my baby under her wing. After breast feeding sessions she would snatch away the baby. The baby even slept with her, nights.

Recently I read a very interesting post on this forum, as to how a mother in law became a catalyst for her son’s divorce. In my case it was not the mother in law (the lady of the house) who is to blame. but her daughter.

Flummoxed? Well let me fill in the details.

The lady in question, *Rima, had bones to pick with me from day one. There were two deeply psychological reasons behind this.

A ‘stranger’ usurping the attention of her brother!

One, her sole ambition in life was marriage–home-family. But her parents were hell bent on marrying her off within their caste circles. She wanted to marry someone from the defence services. But her ‘loving’ parents would have none of it. “Marriage with defence guys ushers in a speedy widowhood” was their axiomatic belief! So by the time I came into the picture as a prospective bride (later bride) for her brother, she was already a considered ‘too old for marriage’.

Secondly she was madly affectionate towards her ‘little’ and only brother. Quite naturally, she couldn’t bear to see her bhaai spending more time, with a pawrer barir meye (stranger, outsider).

From the outset she foul mouthed my parents, hid (read stole) my few personal belongings while I was away at work. Initially her parents tried to be nice to me, but she bullied and threatened them into being nasty to me. They withdrew.

Rima was in charge of breakfast. My roti/parathas were generally over roasted tough, leathery. My tumbler of milk had more water than milk. I wondered why. Once we had a major argument. Rima furiously darted towards me, her face crimson, nostrils flaring, her hair disheveled, “har****** I will kill you! You have ruined our lives…bhaai follows you like a dog on a leash” So this was the crux of the matter, you see. Thence we never spoke to each other. Only sparks and barbs flew thick and fast.

More drama ensued after our daughter’s birth

As I was a working mother, Rima took my baby under her wing. After breast feeding sessions she would snatch away the baby. The baby even slept with her, nights. Consequently I had little quality time with “my baby”… Or was she really mine? She went on to teach the child distressing things – in front of everyone, she would ask, “where is maa?” The kid would point towards her. She taught her to call me powcha (rotten/ no good). Till date some of our old neighbours refuse to believe I’m Trisha’s mom!

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Rima’s nefarious ways continued unabated. Precisely before I came home from work the aunt-niece would disappear only to return late. On weekends she would closet the child and her dad in another room for hours.

Summing up, my married /family life was in shambles. I mulled on separation. Thanks to the timely intervention by a woman activist and social worker known to me the crisis was averted. She advised me to set up a home of my own with the partner and and my daughter, even if somewhere close to the sasural to enable ‘the son’ to discharge his duties towards his family properly.

So that’s the way it turned out finally. Suffice it to say that the quintessential Indian mother in law is infamous (of course there are exceptions galore). However a mom in law with a daughter tagging along… beware!

Image source: pixabay

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About the Author


Am a trained and experienced features writer with 30 plus years of experience .My favourite subjects are women's issues, food travel, art,culture ,literature et all.Am a true feminist at heart. An iconoclast read more...

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