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Parvadavardini Sethuraman

A dreamer by passion and an Advocate by profession. Mother to an ever energetic and curious little princess. I long to see the day when Gender equality is a reality in the world.

Voice of Parvadavardini Sethuraman

Crying When I’m Angry Calms Me…But I Get Accused Of ‘Creating Drama’!

“You are crying again, don’t start the drama now,” most women would've heard this at some point. If crying calms me, why should I suppress myself for others' convenience?

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cyber crime complaint
How Do I Make A Cyber Crime Complaint? What Support Does Indian Law Provide To Women Survivors?

One big concern today is the trolling and cyber crimes targeting women. How do you make a cyber crime complaint, and what should you know?

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New Bombay HC Guidelines For Workplace Sexual Harassment Cases: Media Can’t Reveal Names Of Either Party! Advantage For Perpetrators?

The recent Bombay High Court judgement states that POSH proceedings shall be strictly in-camera. While ensuring anonymity could help the survivor, will it not act as an advantage for the perpetrator?

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A 15y.o. Survivor Can’t ‘Give Consent’ To An Older Man, So How Can A Court Of Law Hold Her Responsible?!

Saying that a 15-year-old survivor was aware of the impact of her actions, clearly reeks of victim shaming, while substantially diluting the onus of the accused. Is it not time POCSO cases were dealt with sensitivity?

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That A Woman Alone Must Make ‘Small Adjustments’ For A Happy Marriage…

“A woman must know her priorities.” She could hear her in-laws admonishing her. Nothing had changed in this supposedly progressive society in all these years, Hetal murmured to herself. 

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restitution of conjugal rights
As Shown in Thappad ‘Restitution Of Conjugal Rights’ Can Command Wife To Return To Marital Home!

The Thappad trailer begins with Taapsee Pannu hearing: 'Restitution of Conjugal Rights, a legal notice to return to your husband's home.' Her consent is not asked. Isn't it time we bid goodbye to this outdated provision of law?

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Alimony Is A Critical Need For Women & Kids After Divorce, Not A ‘Gender Bias’

Most men speak of alimony as an 'oppressive law against men', but in a social structure where the wife (and kids) could be left without finances in case of a divorce, it is essential.

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My Share Of Adjustments Has Only Grown, Making Me Feel Suffocated In This Marriage

Sneha had long back stopped expecting support and encouragement from her marital family, but seeing this selfishness and obliviousness to her feelings from Sanjay left her shattered.

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women of afghanistan
Girls & Women Of Afghanistan Are In Grave Danger And It’s Time For Us To Show Solidarity!

As India was celebrating its 75th Independence Day, women of Afghanistan were facing their worst nightmare as the Taliban took control of Afghanistan.

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marital rape
Millions Of Indian Women Silently Suffer Marital Rape Every Day; Stop This Travesty Already!

What use is all this jingoism over 'independence' and freedom if marital rape is still not recognised as a crime, and millions of married women face this silently in their own homes?

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Getting Rapist Married To Survivor For ‘Legitimacy’ Of Child Is A Patriarchal Abomination

The recent case of a rape survivor wanting to marry the rapist to "give legitimacy to her child" speaks of how our patriarchal society inspires fear in a single mother.

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Why Should An Acid Attack Survivor Feel The ‘Deathless Shame’ The Karnataka HC Speaks Of?

Society shames women who don't fit into a fixed idea of beauty, and more so those who suffer scars of violence on their face, like an acid attack. Why should the shame be hers?

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pegasus controversy
The Pegasus Controversy Shows Us How Women’s Voices Are Silenced by The Powerful!

The largest cluster of phone numbers allegedly targeted under the Pegasus spyware belongs to a woman who accused former CJI Ranjan Gogoi of sexual harassment. Why is this the reality of women who dare to raise their voices?

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Alleged Child Rapist Gets Bail Coz He Was Caught Only ‘In Stage Of Preparation Of Rape’!?

Why are men so often let off the hook in sexual assault and rape cases, even by the courts who can actually effect a change, and even in the face of evidence?

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Every Day We Have Cases Of Indian Parents Controlling Daughters’ Lives, Like This Recent One

A woman has the right to make her life decisions and the recent Gujarat High Court decision affirms the fact which parents and society at large have never wanted to accept.

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Very Early On She Realized That Her Husband Was An Emotionally Unavailable Man

She soon discovered that his business turnover had not improved much and it was her hard-earned money that he was splurging.

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It’s Horrifying What Girls & Women With Disabilities Go Through In Our Society

With crime against women grabbing news space everyday, this Madras HC's observation is just the obvious truth, even if they focus on women with disabilities.

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It’s Time We Slim Down Big Fat Indian Weddings As They’re Bad For Our Daughters

The inflation we've been seeing for the past couple of decades in wedding expenses has been slowly becoming the noose around our daughters' necks. Please, enough!

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SC verdict on kidnapping
SC Verdict On Kidnapping Like Free Pass Given To Controlling Husbands Who ‘Don’t Hit’ Wives

Should a criminal be let off just because he did not 'physically harm' his victim? SC verdict on kidnapping is patriarchy at its best; blind to emotional and mental trauma.

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I’ve Said It Will Be A Tell-All Autobiography, Not A Scandalous Memoir!

"I want to write this book because I want Shweta to know that putting your plans on hold or abandoning them for anyone’s sake is not a smart idea like her father feels and has advised her."

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Will The SC Ban On Publicly Advertising Adoptions Make It Safer For COVID Orphans?

The SC of India recently ruled that advertising adoptions is illegal, and ordered action against NGOs indulging in illegal adoption putting COVID orphans at risk of illegal trafficking.

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I Won’t Let You Ruin One More Woman’s Life By Your Regressive Period Traditions!

But each time Menaka remembered her mother, she would remember her mother sitting in the dingy room near the backyard for at least four days in a month.

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This Is Exactly Why Women In India Hesitate To Report A Sexual Assault Incident

There is a reason women often refrain from speaking up about and reporting sexual assault incidents - systemic social and even legal discouragement.

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Adv Mukul Goyal sexual harassment of interns
Senior Law Partner Accused Of Inappropriate Messages To Female Interns; They Speak Up On LinkedIn

Several female interns at a law firm recently came out on LinkedIn alleging sexually abusive behaviour by one of the firm’s senior partners, through inappropriate messages.

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Punjab & Haryana HC Refuse Protection To Live-In Couple Coz ‘It Will Damage Social Fabric’!

The Punjab and Haryana HC recently refused protection to a couple in a live-in relationship from the girl’s family because "such protection would disturb the entire social fabric of the society."

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‘Why Can’t Men Understand That No Means NO?’ Asks Himachal Pradesh HC Judge

While denying bail to a rape accused the Himachal Pradesh HC commented that a lack of struggle by the survivor is NOT consent, only 'unequivocal voluntary agreement' is.

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Madras HC Judge’s Decision To ‘Learn’ To Be Inclusive Of LGBT+ Communities Gives Hope

The Madras High Court Judge admitting that he does not understand same-sex relationships, but agreed to undergo an educational session to understand it better, gives us the much-needed ray of hope.

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COVID
Could We Have Avoided The Current COVID Crisis, And What Can We Do About It Now?

Current crisis situation with the 2nd wave of COVID is clearly a result of government negligence. Could this have been avoided with more effective planning and governance?

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COVID vaccine strategy
Everything You Should Know About India’s Covid Vaccine Strategy

The Indian Govt recently announced a COVID vaccine strategy - everyone over 18 eligible from 1st May 2021. Here are things you should know.

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women at senior positions
Dear CJI, Systematic Sexism, Not Domestic Duties Real Reason For Fewer Women In Senior Positions

While the CJI may seem to be keen on more women in senior positions in the judiciary, on closer observation is this not again a ploy to put blame back on women; in short, victim blaming?

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6 Reasons Entitlement Like In The Great Indian Kitchen Is Real Even NOW, Not ‘Happened Earlier’

One comment by my city-bred woke peers was - "The kind of family shown in the movie doesn’t exist in today’s time!" Here's demolishing this belief.

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Divorced And Widowed Daughters Of Freedom Fighters Also Entitled To Father’s Pension Now

Not just 'unmarried', but divorced and widowed daughters are also eligible to be financial heirs to the pension of their freedom fighter fathers, says Calcutta HC in a recent case.

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Is A Wife Only A Body, And A Marriage In India Only About Procreation?

A recent case in which the Madras HC ruled that PCOS cannot be termed as impotency makes me wonder - was this another case of male entitlement and the compulsion for procreation in a marriage?

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‘You Are Overqualified; No Boy Wants A Girl Who Is Too Smart For Him’ I Was Told

It was only after I grew older did I realize that it was not Simran that my father connected with, but Chowdhury Baldev Singh, Simran’s traditional and controlling father.

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MTP (Amendment) Act 2021
Unmarried Women Also Covered By MTP (Amendment) Act 2021, Yet Is It Inclusive Enough?

On 17th March 2021, The Medical Termination of Pregnancy - MTP (Amendment) Act 2021 came into being, after being introduced as a Bill in 2020. But is it really as progressive as it is made out to be?

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Calling Out The Entitlement Powerful Men Feel Due To Their Privilege

Priya Ramani had been acquitted in the defamation case against her, but MJ Akbar has now filed an appeal against it in the Delhi HC. A look at powerful men and their entitlement.

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CM Rawat, Thank You For Showing Us How We Can Influence ‘Culture’ Just By Our Clothes!

The Uttarakhand CM's focus on 'ripped jeans' being incompatible with our 'culture' shows us exactly what men in power think of it - is it so flimsy that our attire must affect it?

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A Beautiful Life

A strong woman is one who can stand up for her choices and decisions and gives others also the strength by not judging them for theirs.

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‘Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter!’ Most Indian Women Are Told, But Should She Follow This ‘Rule’?

"Talking about rape in a marriage? That in itself is preposterous; and which decent woman speaks about such stuff like 'sexual gratification' in the open let alone write? Look for a decent job."

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Why Yoga Trainer Elodie’s Petition To Make Rape Laws Gender Neutral Is The Need Of The Hour

Yoga trainer Elodie has started a petition to make rape laws in India gender neutral. Here's why we need the amendment in the IPC.

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She Often Wondered Why No One Cared To Know What She Wanted, Least Of All Her Husband

The truth was that he did not even care about her existence, but he would never end the marriage as it was important for his image, to the world he was a man who treated his wife like a queen.

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Hide The Packet In Newspapers & Some ‘Sanskar’ If You Don’t Want Hell To Break Loose!

It is incredibly vital to wrap sanitary pads in newspapers and the dreaded black plastic if you're a 'decent & sanskari' woman, isn't it?

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When The FOMO Of Social Media Turned Into A Green-Eyed Monster!

Haven't we all scrolled through social media wanting the life someone else leads? But have you ever wondered maybe someone wants your life?

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2020 Taught This Proud Planner To Take It Easier & Value Herself

Yes, 2020 was tough on many organisations; but that doesn't mean your your employer can take over your life completely!

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Dear Survivor You Have Every Right To Prioritise Your Peace Of Mind

The world might ask you to adjust and the collective fingers of the society raising would have made you doubt your decision, but the stand you took is right.

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Why Delhi HC Ruling On ‘Promise Of Marriage Not Amounting To Rape’ Is Problematic

Delhi HC's judgement about sex on the promise of marriage not amounting to rape ignores the societal pressures of marriage a woman faces!

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Things Have Actually Regressed Since The ’90s; Where’s This Vikas We’re Talking About?

Instead of making progress in the safety of citizens and development of resources and infrastructure, we seems to have actually moved backwards. Is this the Vikas we were looking forward to?

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After Hearing Malati’s Story, Tarana Realised She Was The Only One Who Could Bring The Change She Desired

Over time I realised being demure and soft-spoken would not help. I started being assertive, I would fight back and refuse to take nonsense.

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Work From Home Etiquette Means We Need To Value Personal Time, Starting Now!

Lack of sound work from home etiquette is turning many work from home arrangements into a nightmare! Is this the case with you?

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Panga Is Exactly What Happens When A Mother Dares To Dream For Her Own Self

To call Panga a sports movie wouldn't be totally wrong. But it is also a movie that shows what happens when a woman, especially a mother dares to dream.

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Deepika Padukone’s Chhapaak Is Definitely The Splash! Of Reality That The Nation Needs Right Now

Since the day the trailer for Chhapaak was released, the movie has been in the news. With its hard hitting reality, this is why it is a must-watch!

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Let’s Reserve Our Celebration For When Streets Truly Become Safer For Women

Yes, the encounter killing of the Hyderabad rape and murder accused was celebrated. But should we really be celebrating? Are the streets safe now?

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Unstoppable, When You’re Ready To Take Bigger Responsibilities At Work

“How do you know you are incompetent? If you were chosen for this job among so many other candidates it definitely means you had the potential in you,” Sanjay said putting his hand around Disha to comfort her.

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Take Charge, March On… On Your Own!

I enjoy the little things I do everyday without having to worry if I have missed anything or gone wrong anywhere, lest I annoy you. I have regained my lost worth and refuse to trade that for anything.

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I Sought A Companion In My Husband, Not A Master

I was married off young and the reigns of my life were now transferred to my husband and in laws. They drove it strongly into my head that it was my foremost duty to abide by them and serve them.

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Why Is It So Difficult For Men To Accept A Woman Calling Out Toxic Behaviour?

Calling out a toxic, violent hero onscreen gets most men to go up in arms, in support of that man. "It's just a movie" is not a valid defence.

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The ‘Cleanliness Drive’ That Made Her Son And Husband Respect Women

Misogyny is deep rooted in our society. The protagonist resorts to an ingenious plan to make sure that her husband and son treats women with respect.

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Real Women’s Empowerment Can Only Happen Through Sisterhood

What I heard sent shivers down my spine. If not for this woman, my life would have turned into the worst.

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When I Have Finally Made A Better Life For Myself

I was left speechless; he was not ill that he needed to be cured and seriously why should I go about changing anyone. Though I felt cheated in the marriage, I was forced to go back.

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Do Women Never Have The Right To Follow Their Dreams?

Will conventions define the choices of a woman throughout her life? When will she put herself above the rest? Will she ever learn to prioritize herself?

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Why Is A Woman Always Held Responsible For Anything That Goes Wrong?

Why are women always held responsible for everything? If they are molested? If they're "unable to give the family a ghar ka chirag"? (What is with that?!) When anything goes wrong.

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This Gully Boy Makes Every Underdog Believe That Apna Time Aayega!

A movie with so many positives, and layers that can be unpeeled and explored, Gully Boy gives hope to every underdog, and reminds them that "Apna Time Aayega"!

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That Time Of The Year When Indian Parents Are Obsessed With…

The average Indian parent is focused on one thing and one thing only, come March. What is it? Your guess is as good as ours.

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marrying only with parental consent
Will Parents STOP Trying To Control Their Kids’ Lives In The Name Of Culture, Already?

School children will pledge to marry only with parental consent in an event today in Surat. Really? When will parents stop trying to control kids? And do 14-15 year olds need to worry about marriage?

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“Bahu! You’re 26 And Still Can’t Cook? And To Top It All You Aren’t Even Ashamed!”

“What an insolent girl you have got for a daughter in law! Better ask her to mend her ways and learn some manners, otherwise she will soon be infamous in the family."

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How I Wish To Go Back In Time !

We often resent the chaos in our lives and wonder, when that day would come when our children would be all grown up. But, when that day arrives, we miss it all. So, enjoy it till it lasts, says the author.

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An Inspiring Star Of Her Own Making

Riddhi was intrigued with this response, and she had to admit, this had thrown her off guard. She had spent a lot of time preparing and planning for this interview, but she had never anticipated this start.

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A Response To The PM’s Interview: Gender Equality Is Not Specific To Any Religion

While triple talaq may be a graver issue that affects women in more fundamental ways, it is incorrect to call one faith-linked practice a tradition and another a matter of gender justice.

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“You Have Messed Enough With Me, Not Anymore”: A Volcano Erupts

For years, this working woman and mother has been treated as unpaid, unthanked labour around the home. How long will she suffer? Or will she gather the courage to resist?

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Don’t Mind Our Body Shaming Of You Pliss, We’re Indians After All!

Women are body shamed under the guise of 'concern', this needs to be called out for the abuse that it is. While a healthy lifestyle is essential, it is for us to decide.

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Kedarnath Is A Run Of The Mill Love Story; So Why All This ‘Hurt’ And Protests?

With beautiful cinematography and a fairly predictable love story, Kedarnath is a nice enough watch, but it's got absolutely nothing to offend you (unless you believe women are property).

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Badhai Ho! Bollywood Is Finally Celebrating Real People

Badhaai Ho with a love story of a couple in their early fifties is an entertainer with brains and soul. Its humour makes you laugh rather than cringe, unlike the double entrende that usually passes for humour.

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When Women Decide To Break The Shackles There Is No Stopping Them, Proves #MeToo

With #MeToo are women looking for attention? No, they are not! So, better support and stand by them to report. Let justice reign after a fair investigation.

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Why Are The Supreme Court’s 3 Path-Breaking Judgements Annoying The Hell Out Of People?

Three path-breaking judgements by the Supreme Court in a month's time. Its progressive approach is laudable. Then why are people opposing these? 

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With ‘Adarsha Bahu’ Course, Haryana Gang Rape And More… Is Women Empowerment A Reality In India?

Two recent news articles about women's plight in this country compelled author to write. She wonders, if women empowerment in India is truly a reality? 

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Decriminalizing Section 377 Is Only Half The Battle Won. There Is More To Be Done!

Due to Supreme Court's Verdict on Section 377 celebrations can be witnessed everywhere. But the major struggle still remains writes Parvadavardini Sethuraman.

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Should You Really Tolerate Emotional Abuse To Maintain ‘Peace In The House’?

Emotional abuse is often masked, and quite often the women do not even realise that they are victims of a traditional and patriarchal mindset.

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Can’t Help Kerala In Any Way? Mind Your Own Business And Stop Spreading Hatred

The Kerala floods were one of nature's worst deluges in almost a century. This natural calamity showed us two facets of the human side of our country's citizens.

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Dear Judgementalists, It’s Time You Stop Poking Your Noses Into Our Lives

Every girl irrespective of her age and what she does, she will be constantly judged by other people. Here are some tips from the author, for asking those judgemrntalists to mind their own business and leave us alone.

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ideal couple
Why I Think Society’s Definition Of The ‘Ideal Couple’ Can Be Dangerous For Women

When people are fine with a couple in which the woman is much younger, why do they have an issue when the man might be younger?

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The Girl Child Is Alive, But Does She Have A Life?

The ugly reality of India today is that we may magnanimously 'allow' the girl child to live, but we are very far from giving her a life of safety and dignity.

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