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A Pre-decided Timetable Of A Girl’s Life? Why?! What About Her Choice?

Posted: September 13, 2016

Only if a girl follows the rules laid down by society in making decisions in life, is she considered a girl worthy of respect. Why?

I think girls in India are born with a timetable. They enter the world with a well-prepared schedule ready for them by their parents.

The typical journey of a girl

  • She enters school when she is four or five.
  • By the time she is eighteen, she needs to be done with her higher education.
  • Then she enters college, completes her graduation and post-graduation.
  • After her education, she needs to put her complete focus on her career.
  • The time span given to her for her career is 2 years. Not more than that.
  • The day she turns 25 or 26, that’s when she needs to start her married life according to her timetable.
  • Not just this, she is also told when to produce babies according to her timetable.  (No Kidding).

All her life, she does what she is told to do. When she is asked to focus on her career, and she becomes completely career oriented, fate (?) changes things. They say, she can continue to work on her career after her wedding. (Popular saying: shaadi ke baad kar legi, career hi toh hai).

By any chance, if she falls in love before the deemed ‘marriageable age‘, she is told she cannot, that she is ‘too young’. (Another popular saying: inn sabh baton mei kuch nai rakha, career pe focus karo). Well the point is if she shouldn’t fall in love before then why even after? Just because she is 25, that’s the appropriate time for her to fall in love?

Why is her life in the hands of others?

I am not saying elders’ decisions are always wrong. They have much more experience than us. However, I feel we should get past this ‘Timetable Pressure’ and social pressure that have been on girls from decades.  Do not fix any particular age to do things. And certainly, her wishes are important once she is an adult.

The most common problem in a girl’s life is that we tend to find faults in her decisions of life if she wants to do things her way. Why can’t you let her do what she wants to do and support her? Isn’t this the parents’ duty? Are parents only responsible to set up the timetable?

Most of the time, girls give up their dreams because they don’t feel confident about it. That’s because, instead of the assurance, doubts come up.

Instead of supporting her and saying, “yes you will be able to do it”, queries come up such as, “are you sure? Think twice. Don’t regret.” Why can’t you say, “go for it. We are with you!”

If she wants to work for 5 years and then get married, let her do that.

If she wants to get married before starting her career, let her do that.

If she doesn’t want to get married at all, don’t force her.

If she wants to be an entrepreneur or an actress, support her.

Be responsible for her happiness.

Do not entangle her with social taboos just because society thinks that she should get married by 25.

Trust her, hold her hand, give her support, let her breathe and let her live.

Published here earlier.

Image source: wikicommons

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  1. Naseem…What you have written here is 100% true…But we can’t change it..Our society still needs so many years to change…

  2. Love your article! those who dare not follow this time-table are looked upon with suspicion and pity. But let’s break the rules anyway, for life is short and there are way too many things to do rather than abide by the rigid conventions.

  3. Thank You Apoorva Tomar. We need to be together in this and leave the traditional thinking behind to grow in this society.

  4. Bindu lets stand together and fight this. 🙂

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