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Forcing women to marry after completing education is not fair. Women must be given a fair chance to explore and decide what they desire in life.
Forcing women to marry, after completing their education, is unfair. Women must be given a fair chance to explore and decide what they desire in life.
I would say, I come from a progressive Indian family. All the girls in my family are well-educated, working, raised with much affection, freedom and in equality with boys. There has been a special emphasis on education and I can proudly declare that all my female cousins are doctors, engineers, architects, MBAs and so on.
But one thing is common among all of us– the moment we completed our education in diverse fields, whether it is a master’s degree or chartered accountancy, we’ve been told- “Now that the education is over, it is time to get married.” The arranged marriage search begins and soon we would be settled.
I have never understood why getting married has been considered synonymous with being settled. If anything, life after marriage is very unsettling and involves a 360 degree shift in routine, lifestyle, responsibilities and in some cases, relocation. When two people’s lives get intermingled in marriage, they may not have the luxury anymore to pursue their dreams and aspirations independently.
Is this pressure to marry on time helping anybody? Is it enough to allow girls to get an education? Should they not be given time to figure out, what they want to do with their lives? Maybe a passion undiscovered, a travel yet to unfold, a start-up that has always been her dream.
By the time, the higher education gets over, a woman is easily 23-24 years and she is made to feel that if she doesn’t get married soon, she would end up alone and childless, and therefore miserable! The whole arranged marriage set-up leaves no time for women to search for themselves and date men.
Because of societal interference, disapproval from parents and excess focus to excel in academics, a lot of women in India may be inexperienced when it comes to relationships with the opposite gender. Should they not be given some time to meet people, figure out what men they find interesting, and then only marry someone who is probably like-minded? Why do we find it objectionable to give her a few more years to discover herself? Is it a crime to be unmarried in your 30s?
Medical advancement has transcended barriers to the extent, that motherhood can be attained at an older age. Irrespective of this, having children is not the sole purpose of a woman. Is it not unfair that we educate women, speak about equality and financial independence, yet our biggest fear still is that she should not remain unmarried?
Education is part of the journey, a building block to an enriched future. It is certainly not the last stop to the final destination called marriage!
There is only one life. And there are more purposes to it, than marriage. Fulfillment and happiness comes from within, not from a relationship or from another human being. I am not against marriage. Marriage is a natural step, that two people may choose to take if they want to share the rest of their lives together. But some may not have found that person yet. Some may not be ready.
Do we have any right to tell someone that they may never find that person so better ‘arrange’ their life before it is too late?
When would we stop treating life as a race with marriage and children, being the milestones?
Image Source: Pixabay
I like to write about the problems that have plagued the Indian society. I feel that the concept of gender equality is still alien , and that has been the focus of my articles and posts. read more...
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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