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Are husbands little kids that they are 'expected' to throw temper tantrums in a marriage? Why isn't a husband expected to be adult enough to own his part in being a couple?
Are husbands little kids that they are ‘expected’ to throw temper tantrums in a marriage? Why isn’t a husband expected to be adult enough to own his part in being a couple?
Around 15 years back, I remember that I had bought jeans from a mall and given it for alteration. The next day when I went to collect it, I saw that I had misplaced the slip. I actually became quite hyper!
My brand new husband calmly handled the situation and collected the altered jeans. My parents and other relatives were mighty impressed with my husband – that he didn’t lose his cool or yell at me!
Time and again in the past 15 years, I have heard this remark from relatives, my parents, and my friends — that I am really lucky to have a husband who hasn’t ever shouted at me. That I am so lucky that my husband helps me with household chores. That I am so lucky that my husband helps me with bringing up our kids. That I am lucky that my husband respects my parents.
Isn’t that supposed to be normal?
But I believe that Indian women take it for granted that the husband will have temper tantrums, will yell, will not help with the household chores or change diapers of the kids, and hence when men like my husband do, I am considered to be very lucky!
Why is that all men aren’t like this? It is the 21st century, and yet I get to hear women lamenting that their husbands believe that cooking, taking care of the home, or bringing up children is a woman’s job. If a woman works or goes out for a holiday, or to meet her friends, she is again lucky that she is ‘allowed‘ by her liberal husband to do so! Something wrong with the husband’s upbringing, I think!
I am always told that my marriage is successful because I have such a calm husband and I am like really? Doesn’t a marriage work when both the parties work on it?
How many times have we heard of women getting appreciated because they are calm, efficiently do housework and manage job, bring up children well, take care of their in-laws? How many times is the wife appreciated for not shouting at her husband?
Time to change the social norms…
Image source: Flickr, for representational purposes only.
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I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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'Sania denied fairy-tale ending: suffers loss in AUS open final' says a news headline. Is this the best we can do? Is it a fitting tribute to one of the finest athletes we have in our country?
Sania Mirza bid an emotional and tearful farewell to her Grand Slam journey as a runner up in the mixed doubles final. Headlines read –
“Sania Mirza breaks down in tears while recalling glorious career after defeat in Grand Slam’
“Sania denied fairy-tale ending: suffers loss in AUS open final”
As parents, we put a piece of our hearts out into this world and into the custody of the teachers at school and tuition and can only hope and pray that they treat them well.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of physical and emotional violence by teachers, caste based abuse, and contains some graphic details, and may be triggering for survivors.
When I was in Grade 10, I flunked my first preliminary examination in Mathematics. My mother was in a panic. An aunt recommended the Maths classes conducted by the Maths sir she knew personally. It was a much sought-after class, one of those classes that you signed up for when you were in the ninth grade itself back then, all those decades ago. My aunt kindly requested him to take me on in the middle of the term, despite my marks in the subject, and he did so as a favour.
Math had always been a nightmare. In retrospect, I wonder why I was always so terrified of math. I’ve concluded it is because I am a head in the cloud person and the rigor of the step by step process in math made me lose track of what needed to be done before I was halfway through. In today’s world, I would have most probably been diagnosed as attention deficit. Back then we had no such definitions, no such categorisations. Back then we were just bright sparks or dim.
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