Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
There were few cliché statements which we women have been hearing from our elders in the family. And these statements somehow managed to create a rooted space in our thoughts.
We have been witnessing a sluggish pace of changes in the society, the mindset, the living styles and needless to say that many of those changes are happening for good.
It is always a roller coaster ride to bring about some or other break in the stereotypes in everybody’s life. The struggles to fight with the same conventional mindsets and bring about a new philosophy, logics and perspectives to look at, has always been a big challenge,
But those small changes in the mindset had definitely given a respite in life, which could have been difficult if was left on to the destiny totally.
There were few cliché statements which we, (specially women) have been hearing from our elders in the family. These statements somewhere and somehow managed to create a rooted space in our thoughts, in our conducts, our belief systems and in our perspectives to look at life.
But, today, by questioning the logics behind those statements; we were able to advocate since our childhood. This has not only somehow created a little space for us to breath. It has also given us a panoramic view to people to understand that the life is much more than what we had compartmentalized it in since early age.
Six statements which will surely make your head nod in approval and disappointment and leave you contemplating where did these statements come from? And what made us hear, believe and adjust with them. These are the unchallenged cliché statements used to build the foundation of a girl child in our society!
Thanks to all those individuals who had questioned and challenged these lame statements, bringing in a path of revolution.
“Sharam ladki ka gehna hai aur gussa admi ka genha.”
This outlook has been an easy escape for all men since ages to have anger as their rightful temperament and to ensure that the other part of the society (women) accepts this fact while they adorn themselves with their shyness and politeness. Both the temperaments are two extremes and were meant to be sacrosanct.
People had always been conditioned to belief and respect this outlook, making ours a patriarchal society. Women have been exploited and oppressed through their dominance. But with changing times, with the braveries of few great souls who have questioned this way of life are instrumental in making a shift in this way of life.
No gender has the right to be angry and dominating illogically just because there has been a deep-rooted opinion about the temperamental rights illustrated by our fore fathers for their convenience in living.
In-fact, getting angry, reacting, pacifying self, to feel shy or to show openness, to be silent or to be vocal is altogether an individual’s choice, and we can see how things are changing gradually.
“Aadmi ko 100 jurm maaf hai par aurat ki ek galti bhi parivaar tod sakti hai”
This has been the statement a girl has to hear right from her childhood, and it’s like the fundamental rule for making the foundation of a girl strong just to ensure that she is doesn’t commit any mistake, specially when she gets married.
Also, she gets a training to adjust, to absorb, and compromise with all sort of mistakes specially the adulteries of her man because he is doing everything rightfully. Today, with changing times, women have stood up with a strong belief that they too are humans and to err is human.
Not that they rightfully get into making mistakes, but they have started raising their voice against the men who practice this policy rightfully and also have started understanding that making mistakes is nobody’s right and is everybody’s flaw.
“Aurat admi ke pairo ki dhool banke rahe to hi khush rehti hai”
This is a bitter truth that woman in past had always believed in this statement, or we can say that woman was made to believe in this statement just in order to keep them under control.
Woman in the past were positioned at the lowest level of society and were made to satisfy and derive their happiness staying in that pitifully controlled position having no right to speak up, to have their own identity and to question their rights.
Today, women have understood that they deserve an equal positioning and equal rights as the men do, and they have started questioning such training formulas from their families before they get married.
“Jab tak aurat maa nai banti, uska janam safal nai hota hai”
This is a hurtful statement or a belief which has been laid down since ages and the women have been birthing babies against their own wishes.
This belief has destroyed the lives of so many women around the world who have the infertility issues or are widows, by being called barren or incomplete without thinking that even men can be infertile.
Today, women are vocal enough to speak their wishes of not having children. They are even vocal about their wishes of being parent through adoptions or other ways. This change has given women so much of breathing space from being under a tremendous pressure of giving birth to babies even when they don’t wish to undergo such process.
Needless to say, that the full circle of bringing a life in the world can be the most beautiful experience one can experience, but at the same time, it is a choice to be made by every woman, and they have to be equally respected if they wish to live life without having her biological baby in her lap.
“Aadmi ko khush rakhna aurat ka pehla dharam hota hai”
Oh! This cliché is such a torture for the woman and shockingly, women had been leading their lives by keeping their husbands happy by compromising their own happiness.
Today we understand that “to be happy is one’s choice” so no woman or for that matter no one in the world can make us happy if we don’t wish to be happy.
It’s right to say that man and woman have to complement each other, and live and value each other’s happiness to have a successful married life. But it is not purely woman’s responsibility to maintain the happiness of her man, to have her own happiness.
Happiness is a mutual responsibility.
“Aadmi kamaata hai aur aurat ghar chalati hai”
This has been an easy way of condemning the women’s contribution in the family. As earning for the livelihood has always been revered and is positioned at the top, whereas working day in and day out for family and home was no work! And was not considered to be taken in account as a contribution for a family.
Many women have gone out of the houses and have started earning for the family. Even men in today’s time have identified their likings of being a home-maker and have happily accepted being at home while his wife earns for the family.
The world is changing gradually, and no doubts they have been instrumental in providing a breather. Today’s generation, not only girls but boys too, fret over such statements and get bewildered as to why the woman of the past never questioned, or stood up for themselves.
This is a black hole, and we still can’t understand who and when we manipulated! And who laid down these weird practices in the society? Who set these deep roots which successfully spread all around the world?
However, better late than never. The awareness has cropped up and the ability to question, to speak the logic and to stand up for what is right is slowly getting in charge of good of the society.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed and maintain the logical mind alert to speak up for what is good for the entire world, irrespective of the gender.
Image Courtsey: Nikhil Patil and Subodhsathe via Getty Images on Canva Pro
Ruchi is a new person who has dared to break all walls of monotony in life, a dreamer, a learner and likes to derive inspiration in all situations she is into. Recently plunged into a read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
Please enter your email address