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Normalise a man doing his duties as a dad/husband. Or at the very least, go nuts over a woman mothering her own child! Only fair, isn't it?
Normalise a man doing his duties as a dad/husband. Or at the very least, go nuts over a woman mothering her own child! Only fair, isn’t it?
Recently, two news articles, which have been doing the rounds on social media, caught my eye. One went gaga over how cricketer Virat Kohli was doing his daddy duties, as he was photographed with his daughter’s burp cloth on his shoulder.
Another gushed over British actor Riz Ahmed fixing his wife’s hair at an awards function. Were both these actions really that extraordinary? Not at all!
As much as people take a woman’s duties for granted, so too should a man doing his duties to his family be normalised. After all, women fix their husband’s wardrobes, socks, underwear, handkerchiefs all the time in regular homes, without creating a fuss or even being appreciated!
I have a calm and equal partner, and throughout my married life, I have always heard how “lucky” I am to have a man who is a good husband and father. Even the success of our happy marriage is credited to him most of the times. Well, I have been a good wife and mother too! How many people, including my own relatives, will credit me with the success of our marriage?
This is because of the conditioning where men doing what is supposed to be normal, is considered worth gushing over.
I am sure Anushka Sharma being photographed with the same burp cloth wouldn’t be fussed over as much as Virat Kohli’s photo, since a mother’s duties are taken for granted; it is normal, nothing great. But doing fatherly or husband duties, showing normal affection are ‘out of the world’ gestures! Hypocritical, isn’t it?
Men ‘babysitting’ their own kids are made out to be great fathers. Media, society, families place men, who ‘help’ their wives in household chores or cooking (during lockdown or otherwise) on a pedestal.
It’s high time we normalise being a hands-on father or a caring husband. That’s how men should be, as women are, all the time!
Normalise men as being equal partners, parents, good humans rather than going gaga over them. If not, then at least photograph a mother doing her motherly duties and go gaga over that too!
Image by Sonam Prajapati from Pixabay
I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: