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All girls have thoughts about marriage, and sometimes these thoughts can be worrisome. Scary. Why, oh, why are things so difficult for women?
Marriage: The word is scary and sweet both.
In India, it holds a very deep meaning. I don’t know what exactly it means for our parents’ generation, but I’m sure that for them it is about two people living together for rest of their life. No matter what.
As far as we millennials are concerned, it is about two people who are in love with each other and decide to get together, hopefully for rest of their life.
But love or no love, you are screwed dude! What I mean is that eventually everyone has to get married (especially in India!).
I am 27. Yes, I get a lot of questions about my marriage plans as I am the only one in the family left to get married. So the spotlight is always on me in every family function. Also, my friends are also well settled in their lives with their respective partners. And I am truly happy for them.
But there are various thoughts that I get these days regarding my marriage, or marriage in general. I am sure a lot of girls get these.
Dude, how am I going to handle this grown man? I am myself a kid right now!
What If I don’t want to make dinners at times. Will he yell? Will he say it’s okay? Will we will order something?
What if I am never able to learn cooking?
How my Mom in law is going to be?
I don’t want to wear sarees or jewelleries anymore? Will I be considered bad bahu?
I want to keep working and want to pursue my passion. Will my in laws be supportive?
What if I have to go meet my parents? Do I have to ask for permission every time?
Sex. Oh god. How that will be? What if he does not like me? Or what if I don’t like him?
My bed. I have my own bed right now. After marriage, I won’t have both the sides of the bed.
What if he wants a kid and I don’t or vice versa?
I can’t be on my phone 24*7.
I’ll have to update my new surname on my social media handles. I want to keep my own.
I like being in pajamas on Sundays. Can I do that anymore with in-laws or I have to be in suit salwar all the time.
Will anyone judge me on my food habits on family get togethers?
If I voice my thoughts, will I be called as opinionated?
I think I should stop right now because the list is too long. I feel it’s normal. Because you know, spending rest of your life in a completely new way is surely scary. But I am sure it is not that bad either as we think.
What about you? What thoughts do you have about marriage?
Image source: screen grab from 2 States
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
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Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
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