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Women have been silenced through ages because patriarchy has dreaded women who know and speak their minds. Not anymore! #WomenOnTheMove
Silence is golden — as the popular adage goes. From what I know and have read, silences can be categorised into different sorts — there is the comfortable silence — like when you are driving down on meandering roads with the music set to your taste just in the right volume and your best friend sitting beside you. It is the thankful silence that you share with a person whose presence has more meaning than words.
Then there is the respectful silence — like when you set foot on the vast perimeters of the concentration camps in Auschwitz — the sheer scale of sufferings and death that place has witnessed suddenly hits you hard and you can’t help but stand there in silence and be in the moment. Probably send a prayer up to the heavens seeking peace in the world and remembering the people who lost their lives in the most brutal way possible.
And then there is the silence of the unsaid, the unspoken and the repressed. The voice that has been deliberately crushed; an imposed silence. When words seem risky and dangerous, silence is an imposed choice.
In our weekly #WomenOnTheMove chat over at Twitter, we discussed how over the years women have been constantly silenced because the proponents of patriarchy feel threatened the moment women raise their voice and want to be heard. This is what #WomenOnTheMove said. (If you’re not yet following Women’s Web on Twitter, do now, and you can come over for the chat too, every Wednesday 6-7 pm IST).
Since ages women have been on the receiving end of the stick; suffering in silence. The have been constantly bombarded with the analogy that being silent is the characteristic of ‘good girls’.
A1 bcoz social conditioning makes us blv that ‘good’ women r only seen not heard.They’re never loud #WomenOnTheMove — Pooja Sharma Rao (@SoulVersified) September 6, 2017Never miss real stories from India's women.Register Now
A1 bcoz social conditioning makes us blv that ‘good’ women r only seen not heard.They’re never loud #WomenOnTheMove
— Pooja Sharma Rao (@SoulVersified) September 6, 2017
Also, cause for years women have been considered to be the “weaker sex”…who are only supposed to follow instructions and not voice opinion — Belletrista (@thebelletrista) September 6, 2017
Also, cause for years women have been considered to be the “weaker sex”…who are only supposed to follow instructions and not voice opinion
— Belletrista (@thebelletrista) September 6, 2017
Gender bias as always. Men are “supposed” to lead. No matter how many stereotypes have been shattered, men will be men. #WomenOnTheMove — Satarupa B. Kaur (@Satarupa_BKaur) September 6, 2017
Gender bias as always. Men are “supposed” to lead. No matter how many stereotypes have been shattered, men will be men. #WomenOnTheMove
— Satarupa B. Kaur (@Satarupa_BKaur) September 6, 2017
Because as a woman u r supposed to just listen and not give ur opinions #womenonthemove — Sakshi Dutt (@sakshi2487) September 6, 2017
Because as a woman u r supposed to just listen and not give ur opinions #womenonthemove
— Sakshi Dutt (@sakshi2487) September 6, 2017
The reasons can be diverse. Patriarchal families with no strong female voice, lack of female companions while growing up.. — rushi 🌿 (@kathacollagist) September 6, 2017
The reasons can be diverse. Patriarchal families with no strong female voice, lack of female companions while growing up..
— rushi 🌿 (@kathacollagist) September 6, 2017
But the world moved on and the rules changed. Women got educated, found jobs, had an opinion and did not shrug to voice them — loud and clear. That is when patriarchy and its proponents felt threatened. Reasons being:
It’s because of the unwritten rules set by our ancestors, which nobody challenged until the last decade probably. #WomenontheMove — Prasanna Kini (@Prasannakini) September 6, 2017
It’s because of the unwritten rules set by our ancestors, which nobody challenged until the last decade probably. #WomenontheMove
— Prasanna Kini (@Prasannakini) September 6, 2017
Oh yes and especially on matters that are not supposed to be in our realm like politics , sports #womenonthemove — Sakshi Dutt (@sakshi2487) September 6, 2017
Oh yes and especially on matters that are not supposed to be in our realm like politics , sports #womenonthemove
It is a myth that patriarchy only affects women, patriarchy affects men too. Regressive tropes like ‘boys don’t cry’, ‘boys don’t cook’ etc are the fruits of patriarchy passed down through generations. If our boys don’t see, they don’t know, so they don’t learn. As the country grapples with the increased incidences of rapes, acid attacks, sexual assault, dowry deaths etc, it is probably time to indulge in some serious introspection. It is time to change the normal.
In the zest of raising strong daughters, as parents we often forget to talk to our sons. Our biased attitude is not only unfair for our daughters it is unfair for our sons too. It is difficult to let go of the social conditioning we have been raised in, but it is not impossible.
A2 Fearless daughter is one thing. You need to raise sons right too, and that usually happens when you set right examples.#WomenOntheMove https://t.co/8DkUJfRrqo — Sid (@iwrotethose) September 6, 2017
A2 Fearless daughter is one thing. You need to raise sons right too, and that usually happens when you set right examples.#WomenOntheMove https://t.co/8DkUJfRrqo
— Sid (@iwrotethose) September 6, 2017
Image: Pixabay
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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