Oh Yes, I Am A BAD Girl! So?

If more girls owned up to not being the 'good girl' that they seem to be, things would become easier for future generations. Much like women claiming public spaces making them safer.

If more girls owned up to not being the ‘good girl’ that they seem to be, things would become easier for future generations. Much like women claiming public spaces making them safer.

Dear Good Woman,

I know you’re currently busy doing some work or other. You are either cooking, or working for some boss, or feeding your baby, in-laws, husband, or maybe for a change resting and reading this letter. I want to make a request to you- on you showing love, sacrifice, patience, care – Would you please stop this?

Stop being a fool in the hands of your lover, boy-friend or husband. Stop pitying at yourself. Stop worrying all the time about your husband’s supposedly ‘extra-marital’ affairs. Stop being insecure about your future and your children’s. Stop trying to look like a ‘show-piece’ to please your lover’s eyes. Stop expecting them to treat you right one fine day. Stop believing in some miracle that would change everything for you for better. Stop projecting a fake smile when you’re not happy. Stop tolerating that ‘smart’ girl your husbands likes to hang around with. Stop doing all the roles which you do every minute of each day. Stop taking the sh*t which you don’t deserve. Stop carrying the unwanted babies. Stop being that ‘ideal’ girl which you probably ‘think’ everyone loves you for being!

For sake of all of your fraternity, you gotta put a stop to this, all of this, as soon as possible!

I know it’s not easy – to revolt against the family and thereby entire society and say and do what you want to, but one day or other you have to stop this mental rape of yours, just so your daughters and sisters don’t have to go through any of this again in next 20 years or so.

I’m tired of seeing the messages that say women are great for all the wrong reasons on the earth. Just because one of us tolerates, goes through that hard phase, suffers, suffocates, and doesn’t complain, we should be applauded for this? Stop this so that others don’t learn from such an example and become the same or worse!

Let us all be BAD girls! Let us say ‘No’ to your husband, boy-friend, brother, father, son, in-laws or friends whenever you’re not up for something. You’re not born to satisfy their needs. To entertain them. To let them have fun and food. To let them enjoy this life. To let them breathe – at cost of your nerves!

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I have dated many men who have wanted me to crave for them, miss them, mourn for them and so on once we depart. However, I always failed at their weird expectations. I told my favourite one once, on his face, “I am not going to miss you, because I am dating you just for fun!” He immediately announced in his mind that I was a whore. Yes, because he just couldn’t take that line. The fact that he was secretly having a full-time girlfriend whom he was about to marry in a few months, and dating me simultaneously, was not making him a whore, but my commitment on his face about my transparent feelings for him was a ‘whore’ act.

I know it’s going to be a bold thing to confront in public, but I gotta stop too, being a ‘sanskari‘, modern, educated, independent metro-girl! I gotta confess that I am a BAD girl as they believe it. And I certainly don’t give a damn to what they believe.

The idealism that you follow everyday has serious repercussions for your girl-friends across the world! A simple confession of ‘I AM A BAD GIRL’ on your part, however, could have some serious positive impact in the coming generations. The moment one of us slaps a ‘married’ man-colleague in front of entire office, on flirting with you – you get judged by so many people.

Maybe they would believe that you also dated him, you also took advantage of him, you also got that promotion because of his reference; let them believe that. It won’t change anything for you. But it will certainly change many things for the woman who is waiting for him at home the whole day, living in same cocoon of fear which you’re inherently part of. Because we are all too afraid to say that.

I’m sure a man cannot have an extra-marital without a woman’s involvement. A ‘bahu’ cannot have hard time without her mother-in-law’s involvement. A triangular love cannot exist without the ‘other’ girl’s involvement. This happens because we remain silent for the fear of being called THE BAD GIRL.

Let’s say that for once and all, “Oh yes, I am a BAD girl. And I am what I am. And I am certainly not someone who’s here to please you!”

Hope this article kicked the very nerves of your brain. You may like it or hate it. Share you opinion here with all of us. Your voice matters for every woman who’s reading it!



Image source: confident girl by Shutterstock.


About the Author

Swati Agarwal

I am an odd bird!

15 Posts | 96,844 Views

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