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We tend to normalize violence against women to an extent where it remains unspoken and make excuses in our minds for the perpetrator.
Author’s note: This poem is from my interactions with the woman I have mentioned in it, and depicts how we have chosen to kept silent and normalised patriarchy in day to day life.
I heard the unspoken, When we ended up strolling and chatting that extra mile, While you said that you were tired at the start, Thought of congratulating you on your stamina, Suddenly, my heart contracted with fear and rage, When I saw, that cigarette burn on your neck.
I heard the unspoken, When your daughter jumped with joy to see me, Perplexed at my new-found popularity, I delved a deeper, when she held me tight with her plastered hand. I could decipher the scene in her hand In which you were burnt with that cigarette stub, That left a signature on the neck.
I heard the unspoken, When you meekly defended your father’s choice of groom for you, Saying your father knew the best – You could not defend the losing shine of intellect, Your father’s and husband’s values Travelling in time machine a decade back, I resurrected that ‘radiant’ teenager in my mind, Hearing you out but not agreeing to that meek defence in front of you.
I heard the unspoken, When you helped your brother in apply to universities abroad, While waiting for a groom to take you your honeymoon, Postponing your dream of higher education forever, You found solace in writing out another’s application I heard that unfulfilled desire, in that embrace, I did try to jolt you and say, ‘take care’!
I heard the unspoken, When you offered me sweets, Saying you are pregnant again. Joyous and excited, I did hear you in that happy hug, When you said, your husband is happy about the child. Hesitantly, I did ask about your happiness, You cut me fast saying that’s how marriages last!
In all the unspoken words, We did hear each other. Yet we chose to kept veil of pretence, Normalizing patriarchy in all the banter with hidden tears…
I heard the unspoken!
Image source: shutterstock
Priya Tripathi identifies herself as a feminist, bibliophile, survivor and a runner. She believes her upbringing in small town in a highly patriarchal set up has been a blessing in disguise. It helped her to read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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