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I am not saying don't get married. But do it when you are ready and don't think of it as your ultimate achievement! 'Cos it's not!
I am not saying don’t get married. But do it when you are ready and don’t think of it as your ultimate achievement! ‘Cos it’s not!
Are you worried about getting married because your parents have put the screws and the pressure on you? Then you have come to the right place because this post is for you!
First and foremost, marriage is not a milestone and can never be one. Marriage is not an accomplishment, and it is not going to get you any awards or rewards.
It is simply a phase in life that is going to happen – sooner or later, anyway! Unless you choose not to go through it. So, do not dwell on it. Thinking about it might mean losing out on a lot of things that you might regret once you’re married!
I see so many girls around me who have entirely lost their focus in life because their extended family members and society keep nagging about their marriage. They go wild with their tantrums and make the girls feel like losers!
Why? Because the only settlement in life is to get married and have kids. And if you aren’t doing it, you are a liability to your parents. Oh no! It absolutely doesn’t matter if you’re earning or are independent or have a job.
Our society does not see any of these as achievements. Having a job, a good paycheck, being financially independent, taking care of yourself and your parents are still not considered achievements. The only achievement you can have that society will approve of is the mangalsutra around your neck and the vermilion on your forehead.
As a girl, I understand the situation very well. I feel for you if you too, have felt the guilt for not doing something that society thinks you should’ve done earlier. Meanwhile, I also know girls who believed that they missed out on a number of things in life because the community made them feel that marriage was their ultimate goal.
Career, job, interests, hobbies, friends, everything took a backseat for them to find the right groom. And what happened after getting married? Nothing!
Life moves on, and you regret that you wasted your time on something that would eventually happen on its own. So I am going to say that the so-called society is going to chew on that forever. If you are dead set against something that you do not like or want, then so be it.
I know, easier said than done! But you have got to speak up about what you feel. The constant pressure feels heavy on the chest, but you have to take your stand, understand your feelings, prioritise things in life and talk it out.
I am not advocating against marriage. However, there should not be any time restrictions for it. Shouldn’t it be a boy or girl’s decision to get married since they will enter it?
Life is anyway tough. Please do not make it more challenging for girls by setting vague rules for them. And I would undoubtedly implore parents to give the space to your girl that she needs.
Let her figure out her life. Encourage her to do what she wants. Be there for her so that when the real trouble comes, she can count on you.
We, as girls, need the wings to fly. And we surely deserve as much as men to live the kind of life which is easy, independent, and happy.
Picture credits: Still from Amazon Prime series Four More Shots, Please!
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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