I Thought I Had Arrived; But The Chase Never Ends!

After the second child, I thought I had arrived where life wanted me to be. I was completely exhausted by now, I had no strength or energy to carry on. But then, "You have to work on your children!"

It was almost the end of the year, it was the time to look back and reflect, celebrate the successes, make amends where needed, and prepare to say goodbye to the old and ring in the new.

When doing the same, I sit still, I can’t… I started pacing restlessly across the room.

“What’s up, Heena?”, I found myself questioning. I took a peek within.

Have I arrived at last?

Is this what I wanted? Have I finally achieved it? Am I there yet? Have I arrived?

A plethora of questions drowned me in a wave of guilt, wistfulness, and nostalgia as I gaze upon the path carved by me over these four decades.

It all seemed like a ‘mirage‘, had been eluding me. It feels like you’ve finally reached it, yet there’s emptiness when you arrive. Furthermore, it kept teasing me, playing with me, as if asking me to keep trying, yet I was never there.

Since childhood, we all have had a dream to be a doctor, a teacher, an engineer and much more; we set our goals.

We all work hard for our goals, don’t we?

We start working towards achieving that dream. “Just work hard for your 10th-grade exams and that’s it, get good grades, and you’ve reached,” said our parents. We put in all our efforts thinking that’s the final part, but, is it? Then came along 12th grade and then graduation, and so on.

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Of course, that wasn’t enough, hence we were pushed to pursue post-graduation. Then we were asked to work hard to get a good job. Once you get a job, try to work towards achieving higher ranks, posts and promotions.

Where does this race stop?

When does it stop?

When does the chase to succeed stop?

“Have we arrived yet?” A big NO further extinguish the fire of motivation and drive burning within us.

“Try and find a good partner, try to keep them and their family happy and that’s it, no more,” they said.

“Oh, it’s high time you have a child,” said one. “Your child needs a sibling, you need to try for one more!” said another. They went on and on, their voices crowding in on us, suffocating our own opinion.

Exhausted, I carried on

After the second child, I thought I had arrived where life wanted me to be. I was completely exhausted by now, I had no strength or energy to carry on. But then, “You have to work on your children, and help them be the best at everything, after all, whose responsibility is it?”

And I dragged myself further, unwillingly; every time, after every stage, I thought I had arrived! But I questioned myself again and again, had I?

It is time to stop and rethink

Dear friends,

This is the story of our lives, we keep striving for that eluding ‘mirage’ all our lives and forget to live our life to the fullest. Each day, life just goes by, and we think, “Are we there yet?”

It’s high time we take a peek within and realize life is not a race built for us to keep on struggling, let’s slow down, stop running and start living, cherishing each moment as it passes by before it’s too late.

Remember, feed the fire inside you by doing things you want to.

Image source: Boris Jovanovic, via Getty Images, free and edited on CanvaPro

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About the Author

Heena Shah

Mother to a bubbly teenager and a student of psychology, Heena is also a travel enthusiast. She loves to observe the happenings around her and weave them into beautiful stories. A writer with a passion read more...

28 Posts | 42,334 Views

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