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I Chose To Be At Home With My Child And I Refuse To Be Judged For It!

I completely agree that working mothers do not have it easy, but that doesn't mean stay-at-home mothers are living a care-free, easy life. We have our own battles to be taken care of on a daily basis.

Yes, I’m a stay-at-home mom by choice. Does that make me any different?

I’m equally educated to land a well-paid job, scale up the corporate ladder, be busy with work-related meetings and phone calls, and earn a handsome salary, month after month.

Yet, I choose to be with my child at home, taking care of her, tending to her needs, spending quality time with her, serving her warm and healthy food, and helping her with her studies and extracurricular activities. I choose to take care of my house and my spouse. (*No way does this imply that working mothers aren’t taking care of all these needs.)

In the meantime, I get to explore my hobbies, my likes and dislikes, take care of myself, reskill and upskill, learn and unlearn from my stint as a homemaker and a mother. I’m gathering a rich, real-life experience, which no books or corporate trainers can teach me.

The judgements keep coming

In spite of it being our choice, we stay-at-home moms are looked down upon by many.

“Oh, she’s well-educated, smart, intelligent, she’s wasting her time being at home!”

“Why don’t you take up a decent job and make good use of your time?”

“Assist your husband in running the house; how long will you be a leech, spending his money?”

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These are just a few comments that we get to hear.

We are equal, yet treated differently, many times by our own kind. I have gotten feelers and comments from my working friends too, wherein their attitude is like, “We’re working, hence we’re better off than you stay-at-home moms.” There is a different air around working mothers. They say they’re much busier than us, as they have to balance work and home, while we’re “practically free” as we aren’t working.

Staying at home doesn’t mean we are sitting twiddling our thumbs!

I completely agree that working mothers do not have it easy, but that doesn’t mean stay-at-home mothers are living a care-free, easy life. We have our own battles to be taken care of on a daily basis.

For a full time home maker and a mother even taking a bathroom break is a privilege, having meals on time is a privilege, making time to take care of herself is a privilege.

There are always umpteen and endless chores to be finished before she can do any of the above. Either it’s time for someone’s breakfast or time to get the kids ready for school. Either it’s time for someone’s evening tea or time to take the kid to her extra curricular class. One after the other right from early in the morning till late in the night she’s tied up with a million such duties and responsibilities without taking a breather. She’s doing much more than anyone else in the same 24 hours. It’s her choice and for some it’s not, it’s necessity!

We’re definitely equal, yet treated differently!

Image source: a still from the short film Ghar ki Murgi

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About the Author

Heena Shah

Mother to a bubbly teenager and a student of psychology, Heena is also a travel enthusiast. She loves to observe the happenings around her and weave them into beautiful stories. A writer with a passion read more...

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