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I completely agree that working mothers do not have it easy, but that doesn't mean stay-at-home mothers are living a care-free, easy life. We have our own battles to be taken care of on a daily basis.
Yes, I’m a stay-at-home mom by choice. Does that make me any different?
I’m equally educated to land a well-paid job, scale up the corporate ladder, be busy with work-related meetings and phone calls, and earn a handsome salary, month after month.
Yet, I choose to be with my child at home, taking care of her, tending to her needs, spending quality time with her, serving her warm and healthy food, and helping her with her studies and extracurricular activities. I choose to take care of my house and my spouse. (*No way does this imply that working mothers aren’t taking care of all these needs.)
In the meantime, I get to explore my hobbies, my likes and dislikes, take care of myself, reskill and upskill, learn and unlearn from my stint as a homemaker and a mother. I’m gathering a rich, real-life experience, which no books or corporate trainers can teach me.
In spite of it being our choice, we stay-at-home moms are looked down upon by many.
“Oh, she’s well-educated, smart, intelligent, she’s wasting her time being at home!”
“Why don’t you take up a decent job and make good use of your time?”
“Assist your husband in running the house; how long will you be a leech, spending his money?”
These are just a few comments that we get to hear.
We are equal, yet treated differently, many times by our own kind. I have gotten feelers and comments from my working friends too, wherein their attitude is like, “We’re working, hence we’re better off than you stay-at-home moms.” There is a different air around working mothers. They say they’re much busier than us, as they have to balance work and home, while we’re “practically free” as we aren’t working.
I completely agree that working mothers do not have it easy, but that doesn’t mean stay-at-home mothers are living a care-free, easy life. We have our own battles to be taken care of on a daily basis.
For a full time home maker and a mother even taking a bathroom break is a privilege, having meals on time is a privilege, making time to take care of herself is a privilege.
There are always umpteen and endless chores to be finished before she can do any of the above. Either it’s time for someone’s breakfast or time to get the kids ready for school. Either it’s time for someone’s evening tea or time to take the kid to her extra curricular class. One after the other right from early in the morning till late in the night she’s tied up with a million such duties and responsibilities without taking a breather. She’s doing much more than anyone else in the same 24 hours. It’s her choice and for some it’s not, it’s necessity!
We’re definitely equal, yet treated differently!
Image source: a still from the short film Ghar ki Murgi
Mother to a bubbly teenager and a student of psychology, Heena is also a travel enthusiast.
She loves to observe the happenings around her and weave them into beautiful stories.
A writer with a passion read more...
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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