She Had Her Kids To Care For So How Could She Go On Mourning Her Husband?

She was devastated; everything was over within a span of 15 days. But she had a responsibility to her two teen kids, and so she gathered her courage.

A cheerful and happy couple blessed with two beautiful children, a girl and a boy, living the life of their dreams.

With so many dreams and aspirations, always there together in life’s ups and downs, hand in hand facing every struggle life threw at them, coming out victorious in the end.

A perfect love marriage culminating into a perfect family of four. Their daughter is almost eighteen now and their son turned fourteen, they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary last January, with the most memorable trip to the Maldives.

Dreams shattered in just 15 days

But as they say, you can’t have it all. Their dreams were shattered. Fate played the most cruel game. Just two months after celebrating their 25th anniversary, she lost her husband to COVID-19!

It literally felt like ‘Kisiki nazar lag gayi!’ (evil eye).

She was devastated, everything was over within a span of fifteen days, from contracting COVID-19 to hospitalization to total organ failure and gone! Unbelievable but true, her world came crashing down right in front of her eyes.

She is just in her 40’s. After fulfilling all the responsibilities towards raising their teenagers, enjoying life again as a couple had just begun. They were looking forward to spending quality time together and growing old together, but I guess fate had it the other way.

With two children to be taken care of and a huge mound of responsibility staring at her, she gathered immense courage and stopped mourning. She decided to ditch white and invite colours back into her life.

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Of course, that was on the outside, in front of the world. Whereas, on the inside she was broken and shattered to pieces, mourning and crying every waking second when she was alone. No amount of assurance from loved ones would make any sense to her.

She put up a front for the world… which would not accept it!

Eventually, she started attending get-togethers with family, functions and celebrations with friends, parties with colleagues. She started dressing up for the occasions, adorning a big smile for the pictures and started traveling during vacations with her children. She started uploading her pictures on various social media, not shy or scared of the world. She wanted to live a normal life, not only for herself but for her children too.

Obviously, with the kind of society we live in, all this didn’t go very well with her in-laws. Forget getting support from other relatives, even her parents weren’t very supportive of her at this point. All of them were of the opinion that it was too early for her to start enjoying life, to live as if nothing has happened, to stop mourning! Tongues started wagging behind her back… but she didn’t care!

That’s when this famous line from The Notebook made perfect sense to her, “You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love!”

I can’t even imagine how she has managed to carry on with such a brave face, but I can say for sure she definitely has the courage to stand up against this two-faced world and do what is right for her, hats off to her courage.

An afterthought

Similar to this situation, if it was a man who would have lost his spouse and started to party soon after, the same society wouldn’t really mind. But when it’s a widowed woman who decides to live her life on her terms, society starts shaming her to no end.

A real-life incident, a relative lost his wife to COVID-19-related complications, leaving behind an eight-year-old daughter. This man not only started partying within a couple of months of her passing away (Which by no means is any of our business), he is already married even before his wife’s first death anniversary (Again none of our concern).

Since he is a man it is perfectly fine, but what if it was a woman who would do the same, would it be accepted with an open mind?

Author’s note: Based on a true story. For all that you know, she’s yet not able to accept the grief, she might be camouflaging and pushing her feelings further inside instead of facing them. Maybe these temporary outings give her happiness on the surface. We can’t be the judge of any of those.

It’s best to seek timely help from a therapist in case we face any kind of difficult mental turmoil. Do not shy away from therapy and counseling.

Image source: a still from Marathi film Uttarayan

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About the Author

Heena Shah

Mother to a bubbly teenager and a student of psychology, Heena is also a travel enthusiast. She loves to observe the happenings around her and weave them into beautiful stories. A writer with a passion read more...

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