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Indian women have to follow umpteen traditions for the longevity of their husband's precious life. But, what if they don't want to?
Indian women have to follow umpteen traditions for the longevity of their husband’s precious life. Once married, the woman has to wear a mangalsutra, vermilion, red bindi, toe rings, bangles, anklets- to name a few.
These are just some rituals she has to follow to show she cares for her husband’s long life. Not to forget wearing vibrant coloured clothes too is one of them. Pastel or subtle coloured clothes- these are not for married women!
Try wearing lighter shades for functions or weddings, and you will start hearing all kinds of comments such as, ‘Hay hay, isko dekho kaise colour ke kapde pehene hai, pati abhi zinda hai!’ (Look at her! She’s wearing such colour clothes even though her husband is alive).
Apart from these, which she has to adorn daily, there are special days dedicated to praying and fasting for his longevity and good health. I know of two of them: one is Karwa Chauth, and the other is Vat Savitri.
Dare you to defy any of these- you will be labelled as the one who doesn’t care about him and his good health. The worst part of it all is other women judging the women who refuse to follow these traditions.
On the contrary, what do men have to do for the well being of their wives? They are not supposed to decorate themselves with ornaments like a Christmas tree or sport anything except the wedding ring. They are not supposed to fast or pray on special days for their wives!
I wonder who made these rules, and whoever did why aren’t they equal for both genders? Is it anything to do with the fact that he is the breadwinner of the family and needs to live a healthy, long life?
While as for the wife, she’s just a cleaner, cook and a caretaker who can be easily replaced with paid staff or another woman in case something happens to her!
In the name of these traditions, women are tortured into living a life they do not want to live. Not all women are comfortable with wearing the mangalsutra, the bangles, the toe rings daily.
So many of them are allergic to the bindi and the vermilion, yet day in day out they have to wear it, otherwise, society is quick to accuse her of inviting a bad omen.
In the end, it’s always a woman who will be held responsible for whatever bad happens in the family. ‘She didn’t do this, she didn’t do that, that’s why my son is suffering today,’ is what we always get to hear.
God forbid if something happens despite following the traditions, the woman is going to get blamed all over again.
Then what’s the point in following them in the first place? Everything is always about them- as a woman, what’s in it for me? I know some women like these traditions. But, I for one, do not see much logic in forcing someone who isn’t comfortable with following them.
Unfortunately, men never have to do any of these or anything else for their spouse- and that’s unfair.
Image credits: Niveda Singh on Pexels
Mother to a bubbly teenager and a student of psychology, Heena is also a travel enthusiast. She loves to observe the happenings around her and weave them into beautiful stories. A writer with a passion read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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