Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Married life could be the biggest stressor in a woman's life, causing more harm than good, sociologically speaking.
Married life could be the biggest stressor in a woman’s life, causing more harm than good, sociologically speaking.
We belong to a world which looks bright but is actually darker and humiliating.
Marriage is like gossip spreading like a wild fire. Not enough control is given to the ‘two souls’ who are tying a ritual knot, which can either make them feel guilty of not being independent, and tied irrationally to a person whom they do not know or even do not want to recognize.
Because everyone wants women to be good at initiating relationships. This seems like a burden allowance without any specifications about how much burden can be taken by a woman just to maintain a relationship with the strangers who are shaming her for not taking ‘good’ care of her husband and in-laws.
It is decided through biological determinism that women have to be caring, and their swollen bosoms must feed their children. But a woman has no option to be disinterested in bringing up children or even giving birth to one. And marriage as an institution channelises patriarchy without even recognising a woman’s right to choose her suitor.
Some people might question – that love marriages also take place and there is no compulsion, but love is also a performance of socialization which states that for a small amount of time, a woman’s desires will be fulfilled. And after she manages to adjust to the new people in her life, she will manage her domestic life on her own without disturbing the routine of other family members.
This theory of dependency snatches away the independence which a woman needs to fulfill her desires and dreams.
Marriage constitutes a bond which is supposedly unbreakable but still, there is controversy on triple talaaq. Sometimes, not marrying anyone seems to be a better option than being in a forced bondage slavery. A married woman is similar to a slave who eats, sleeps, and laughs according to her ‘loving’ family members.
In some families, men and elder women are ruthlessly deciding even the date which will be inscribed in the death certificate of their daughter-in-law because she could not sell her self-respect for ensuring that her in-laws lived comfortably after getting a lump-sum amount of dowry. It will be great if parents of the girls invest money in doing a rigorous background checks of the boy’s family rather than feeding those people who are already getting three times food per day.
Marriage is considered as a festival but this festival describes an unknown narrative treated insignificantly which brings upon the woman getting a curse. In some of the marriages, men too get abused but cases where men are victims are less as compared to the violence taking place inside the four walls of domesticity against women.
There is a need to redefine spaces and rights for women not just because they are being abused but also to build a nation promotes equity and equality in true sense. Crimes or hate-crimes are not simply psychological but there is a social aspect of crimes which needs to be studied and we need to reinterpret sociological dimensions of crimes to prevent them.
Image source: pixabay
I pursued my post graduation in Women's Studies from Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Hyderabad. I am a passionate poet and have published my poems in Ink Drift magazine. I am a gender specialist read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
Please enter your email address