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Why are good husbands who consider their wife an equal in all aspects so rare? It has much to do with how they are brought up, in my opinion!
How many women do you really see are happy with their husbands in their marital life, really happy? There are ups and downs in every marriage but what if the husband is emotionally closed, or abusive and physically tortures the wife?
I am a part of many women’s forums and read a lot of stuff related to women. I see 90% of women unhappy because they are unhappy with their husband. A husband who marries but never really makes the wife a part of ‘his’ family, i.e., his parents or siblings.
He never defends her in order to ‘respect’ his parents.
He never ‘allows’ her to willingly go to her parents’ place and she needs to ‘seek permission‘ as he if he is the boss!
He fathers children and ‘gives’ them his name but is never really ‘present or involved’ in bringing up those children of his!
So many women lament that they are not allowed to rest after delivery or given a helping hand, forget ‘equal parenting‘, when the kids are babies or toddlers.
Every time his mother taunts or insults her, she is supposed to ignore or keep quiet in order to maintain ‘peace’ or give his mother the ‘respect’ that she deserves!
Day in and day out women cringe and complain that their husbands don’t give them ‘pocket money’ and question them about each and every penny spent, irrespective of whether the wife is a homemaker or a working professional. How many women can still willingly and happily help their parents financially without having to question their husband or having to bear the brunt of their anger!
How does a husband get away with ‘bad parenting’ while the woman is always blamed howsoever hard she may try to be a ‘good parent’?
Everyone says that husband and wife are equal and that that’s the way it should be but how many like me are really fortunate to have such good partners? I sometimes crib about so many things about my hubby but when I see what other women are going through it gives me a big, big reality check about my own good fortune. Yes… good husbands are a rare species, it seems.
Why are most men like these ‘abusive or nonchalant’ husbands? There can be one and only one reason – their upbringing. The belief that men are superior or can do nothing wrong is the main problem. Parents raise their sons like some ‘assets’ and forget to teach them about a basic value, respect. It’s about respecting a woman, their children, his wife’s parents, and every other human. It’s not always physical abuse, emotional abuse is also scary…
High time marriages are really relished as an everlasting bond and not bondage!
Image source: flickr, for representational purposes only.
I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
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A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
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