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Sardarji jokes. Kanjoosi jokes. Sexist jokes. There is a thin line that we cross with these, and stereotypical jokes are not really funny at all, but hurtful!
I was reading the very popular facebook post by Tannishtha Chatterjee about her humiliation on some comedy channel about the colour of her skin.
“How is it funny to call someone dark? I don’t get it…” she says and she is right of course.
But that got me thinking about jokes in general. There is a whole category of jokes that stereotype people and make fun of them as a group. Any of these sound familiar?
The list is long.
The entire basis of this type of humour lies in being tickled by the idea that you share in the fun of identifying the stereotype.
I remember as a kid, I loved Sardarji jokes. But as I grew older I learned to recognise how they might be hurtful and harmful. Apart from making social situations uncomfortable or upsetting for some, such an attitude could undermine the confidence of children, who may come to believe in the stereotype and live up to it further reinforcing the idea.
Similarly kanjoosi jokes might make children feel the need to splurge money to overcompensate, and the habit may define many unfavourable life choices.
Women are often made to suffer on the roads. If any mishap happens and a woman driver is involved many just shrug, exchange knowing glances, and say, “Oh well, it’s a woman. What do you expect?”
When I stayed in the US, I was exposed to more jokes of this type. Jokes about Asians and their chinkiness (slanty-eyes), jokes about blonde women etc. I have seen how these jokes left my friends feeling upset or annoyed. Asians are often made to feel like they don’t belong and their different-ness is emphasized through the jokes.
No these are not just jokes. They are a way of practising discrimination. Today, I find this entire category of jokes appalling.
With monumental leaps in transport and communication over the last half century our world has become much smaller and better connected. Our children are likely to encounter people of all shapes, sizes, colours, ethnicities and nationalities. We need to teach our kids to be tolerant, inclusive and sensitive, so they can be happy and successful global citizens. This is best done by emphasizing our humanity and doing away with jokes about stereotypes.
For some of us, who have been exposed to these jokes all our lives, it will have to be a conscious effort. But it is an effort worth making, not only for our children’s sake but also to evaluate and correct our own world view, conscious or otherwise.
As Tannishtha Chatterjee rightly says, “How is it funny? I don’t get it.”
Neither do I!
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Published here earlier.
Image source: By Angharad Woods (Wikipedia:Contact us/Photo submission) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
Kanika G, a physicist by training and a mother of 2 girls, started writing to entertain her older daughter with stories, thus opening the flood gates on a suppressed passion. Today she has written over read more...
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She would serve everyone fresh food and serve herself the stale rice and curries from the previous meal. Some days after finishing the leftovers she was so full she would not even be able to even taste the fresh food.
When I married the first time, my MIL told me that during the Navratri the lady of the house should not eat stale food. ‘Gharatlya bai ni shila khau naye’ — in refined upper caste Marathi.
I was just 26, eager to please, not versed in patriarchy or feminism, and it seemed like a positive thing — respect for the goddess in woman.
But soon I realised she spent the remaining 356 days of her year finishing leftovers. And that I was expected to do the same.
We say that we live in modern times and talk on subjects like feminism, supporting your loved ones, encouraging them to follow their dreams. But how many of us can really say that they actually do that?
We live in a world where there comes times in everyone’s life when one has to make choices which will leave a long term impact in not just their life but on the lives of those attached to them.
Giving the ones you claim to love the freedom and space to make their own choices and the wings to fly is not only the right thing to do but sometimes its also the thing they need the most; without having to face the ‘guilt’ of living the life they want.