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A bus full of housewives going on a picnic fell into a river, all aboard died. Each husband cried for a week, one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked, he replied miserably – “My wife missed the bus”
I got the above whatsapped to me this morning from one of my male friends. I couldn’t replicate the cute emoticons here of happy men faces and a rather mortified woman that came along with the message.
Two hours and about 6 different ‘good morning have a blessed day’ messages with coffee cups and flying hearts later, I got another one – again from a male friend, happily married for 6 years.
Before marriage : Roses are red, sky is blue, U are beautiful, I Luv u
After marriage: Roses are Dead, I have Flu, Don’t eat my head, pare mar tu (roughly translated as go to hell).
Followed by 9 yellow smileys indicating that it was time to laugh now.
My phone is subjected to at least 4 similar married men ‘jokes’ everyday among a slurry of other nonsense meaning-of-life quotes like – Life is like an orange. It is swishy, messy and has pips in it. Some people have one every morning. Now the quotes do make me laugh, but those jokes never do.
To the authors of these me(a)n jokes, (safely assuming they are all husbands), I would just like to say sorry on behalf of your wives. Sorry that they ruined your lives by marrying you. It must be really difficult for you to share your space with them and live in a nicely smelling house. For the Casanovas that you are, it is absolutely unfair that you have to come home to your wives every evening when obviously there are gorgeous girls waiting to throw themselves on you what with your baldness showing and paunch growing.
You sure lead a hard life getting treated like a king by your parents-in-law all the time, while your wife gels into your family like a fish takes to water. Oh what is a life without millions of expectations from your spouse’s family and their distant relatives, neighbors and pets? You must feel highly unimportant when no one shows interest in your life by constantly asking you about your family planning timelines and when no one at a wedding is bothered if your jewellery matches your clothes. You must be totally missing out on the luxuries of being told what to wear, how to talk, what to cook and whose feet to touch.
It is tough being you, I get that. But what you don’t get is that all that stress in your life is totally dumbing your brain down (I am assuming you had one to start with), which is taking a toll on your sense of humour. As a result you pass around these ‘jokes’ that are no more than a bundle of sexist, illogical and hideously unfunny balderdash – the kind that can only make a nincompoop like Navjot Singh Sidhu bounce off his chair like a chicken on hot plate. You forget a key point here – that the marriage you feel a victim of, involves at least one more person – your wife. While she is getting along with her fate absolutely fine and dandy, you for no reason have taken a self-pity route. Like seriously? Have you seen any similar wife ‘joke’ doing the rounds? Will you now say that there is nothing to joke about there, as it is always the man who gets trapped since a woman’s sole aim in life was to marry you and hence she is a happy bunny? Come on, say it aloud if you are man, so I can publicly pop the bubble you are living in.
But until then, please stop making such jokes and go check if your wife is still living with you.
pic credit: pratanti (Used under a creative commons license)
Shivangi is the author of the hilarious yet compelling book 'I made a booboo', published
They make me mad too. What follows when i voice my opinin makes me even more mad. “Its just a joke…dont take it seriously….men will be men.. etc etc. Even if I hadnt gone thru emotional abuse in 6 years of my marriage, I would not have found anything funny in such jokes…infact i think they amont to abuse.
Yes !! The ‘it’s just a joke..’ response is even more irritating. The so called ‘jokes’ are definitely not funny to say the least.
Loved this post, Shivangi!
I agree completely that most of these jokes are just too rude but no one objects..i recently saw a Tamil movie called Endrendrum Punnagai…every single joke in the movie is about how husbands suffer at the hands of their wives..the jokes were very very mean…but the movie became a “hit” somehow…it is pathetic how audiences react to dumb movies…
Thanks Sri. Yes it is a pity these remain highly popular with majority of people – the ones I’d pity for not have bestowed with enough intellect in life 🙂
Oh what a strong article! N it so totally hits the point. I hate this feeling of ‘being trapped’ that every male claims to have despite many of them being happily married or even surviving on their wives incomes!
Thanks a lot, Shireen! I hear you completely !!
I think some of the jokes are funny and we should just take it lightly 🙂
Oh, honestly I am still to find one that makes me laugh 🙂 And I am a person who laughs easily and writes humor articles !
I could not agree more. I grew up listening to another pathetic joke that a child looked like mother when he or she cried and like the father when the child smiled. When I could take it no more I had to ask how anyone could know about a crying child’s looks. It the the mother who deals with a crying child.
Thanks Hip Grandma …what a cool name !!
Oh that joke is indeed pathetic and I absolutely loved your response to that
It’s a man’s world out there. Turn the tables and these laughing faces either turn into sheepish cast down looks turning away from the truth or egoistic fits of rage screaming something about non existing insults that were hurled their way. Sad.
Please keep turning those tables!! one day they will get the message
Hi Shivangi, These sexist me(a)n so called jokes are definitely not funny. But how would you react if a woman is the one narrating these jokes? An old woman to be precise — someone who is supposed to have brains and experience enough to understand what is a joke and what is not. And this Men will be Men line is frustrating to say the least. Good post
Yes, women passing those jokes around is more annoying…either they have no sense of humor or they really believe in these jokes, or perhaps they have a very strong need for approval by men – I do hope it is the lack of sense of humor – that is something one can live with 🙂
Great Shivangi, You have reflected the same what other women like me, thinks when read the jokes about “wife” shared by Men.
Glad you liked it, Anne
Hey Shivangi, I liked ur post. It really is true, i myself never thought seriously about these jokes. But have you ever wondered why these jokes ‘circulate’ more in India or indian men, while men elsewhere would rather joke about sex and alcohol? Is it something to do with how our indian lives are so revolved around the idea of marriage? Why do we (men) find these jokes so funny (not that I do)? Is it because for a few seconds we can ‘escape’ into a fantasy world where we know we dont need our ‘boring’ wives, and there are ‘hot’ girls in bikinis waiting for us. I really do think we should change the way we see marriage, and we should view our life partner as a ‘life’ partner and not some boring emotional piece of work our parents arranged for us!
Thanks Omar. I do hope more men think like you do!
I had a couple of friends on Whatsapp who would send me these “jokes”. Finally I decided to make a couple of my own. Feel free to use them 😀 (needless to say, have not received such jokes from them again)
Scene: Morning 7 am
Wife: Take the dog for a walk. I’m running late.
Wife: On your way back, bring the newspapers in
Wife: I have laid out the clothes that you need to wear for your presentation today.
Scene: Morning 8 am
Wife: I’m off. Your lunch is on he table. Drop off the kid on your way to work. See you in the evening.
—–And they say women are tough to understand :):):)
Husband: Did you read the joke I sent you today afternoon bout the slogan on a man’s t-shirt?
Wife: I look at your face every morning, uske saamne har joke feeka pad jaata hai.
Haha nice ones Arunima
we need to start creating more husband jokes, i mean i wouldnt get marry with a man not even for a million dollars, but still we are missing some husband jokes, wives knows their husband suck they just dont want to “hurt his feelings” by making a joke or maybe she is afraid of being murder, which as we know men do all the time
Hats off to bring this up…..another type of jokes that hit my sensibilities are about funerals….they are sick……
Thanks Shipra !
I loved what you wrote! None of these jokes are even remotely funny.
Thanks Pratibha…great to see a lot of us think alike 🙂
Hi Shivangi…this is the first time I am here. What a bulls eye of what u have written…a mix of humour and satire really is a skill which every woman should master to outsmart the ruse which men are using to unnerve the women. You have got it. Kudos!
Truly, the debates in some of the tv shows, shows men acting as if they have lost their freedom and wives are the reason for the same. I keep thinking at such times, then why didn’t u stop ur parents search for a bride. At least that woman’s life would have been saved. He can appoint a man servant (I have been deliberately careful not to use maid servant to avoid another woman to be again placed in the role of household chores at the beck and call of a man) to do his chores and relax, and enjoy.
I sincerely feel that there are women in real life (not as shown in the tv and movies), who would love not to get tangled in the marital web and like to lead her own life. Soon that day would come. The movies have been encouraging the view that all women are drooling when they see a man with six or eighteen packs or whatever…but reality seem to be quite different.
Unfortunately many women also accept this attitude in men that they can made fun at, and hence all the women are looked as if they are dependent on the men. Nobody teaches them interdependency.
And I loved your comment…makes complete sense…andyes it annoys me more when women are passing these jokes around
I am in an all women whatsapp group.. where i get these jokes daily. I dont understand it at all!!!!
How about also trying to find out if there are any real reasons why a man feel trapped in a marriage?
And the jokes – I agree they may be distasteful. Now that’s the way men deal with their problems -by laughing about them rather than crying.
If so many husbands feel trapped in marriages, by all means let both partners work on resolving their conflicts – that doesn’t make joking about your wife’s death any less distasteful.
Shivangi husband jokes are also very common now. I feel these are to be taken lightly and left at that.
I am all for good humor, as I am a humor writer. So be it a husband, wife, parent, dog, baby, uncle, aunt joke – if it is tasteful, it is okay. The sentiment or should I call it the fallacy of ‘shaadi kar ke phas gaya’ created by men is not what I am okay with
I am not a great writer but yeah I can speak well so forgive me if the comment here is not as adorable like the way you have written this beautiful article. Speaking about the jokes. yes I do agree that they are not at all amusing especially when it hurts a particular community. I agree that! but the latter part of ur writing potrays all the hardships and other nonsensical stuff that a woman has to bear and a man doesn’t in a sarcastical way. again true. but tell me.. where does all the gossip goes around? men forget fights and they will be again together in a min or over a drink whereas a woman will keep all the worries or gossip and everything abt a person in her mind and wait for the perfect moment to release the arrow on the person.
apart from that. we live in a country where the major population lives in the rural areas and the population staying in a metro lives a rural life. so why do you think men fear after getting married. cos all their life they were not answerable to anyone and suddenly one day a question bank comes out. it seriously irritates us. and we men talk to the point and we dont like to go around the bush sarcastically or skeptically the whole time to state a clear cut point like you have done in your article. another fear a man has is the fear of losing his siblings or close ones even after their physical presence we will not be able to help them or care for them when they are in need, just cos we have to go through another question bank session. india ia country which is known for its joint families. but these great joint families are broken down into pieces which we call as the nuclear family cos of many reasons. a womens ego clash. the gal and her moms evil plan or the lady doesnt wanna share her husband’s income. this info is not coming from any hindi or any regional serials on tv. it is a fact.
but yes, now you can say that we men indulge in domestic violence, dowry etc. I am not here to fight for my community and say tht men are the best. nope not at all. I am hear to say that everyperson in life goes through many problems and situations but that doesnt mean a particular person has gone through difficult times forever. it all depends on how you face it with the right attitude. so I suggest you to just take it as a joke as another person has commented to take it lightly in reply to which you ve said you are in search of one joke. you dont like it just dont read it rather then saying what all you have to go through.
but anyways I still envy ur way of writing which makes a person get totallu engrossed into it. and yeah spoiler alert. I am not married 🙂 but yes I know, I will get a beautiful and an understanding wife and I will be one good husband to her. 😉
This is a comment to both Mr.Mohan and Mr.KP…..If men are feeling so trapped and u say that they are laughing it out instead of crying, then why trouble the next generation. PL see to that if you have sons or will be getting sons, do not get them married. Pl save them from making the greatest blunder in their life…so that another girl (who may be literally begging to marry ur heirs) will get doomed and curse herself for not having the privilege and pray to Lord Almighty.
Btb what a purblind attitude of Mr.KP. So, you think by talking about the typical joint family system wherein a woman sacrifices every relative of hers for the sake of the Pati Paremeshwar, would be the ideal view of life is it…now why the hell should she do it. You do not have any qualms in asking her to forget her relatives and family, so that she can take care of the elderly in the family. Wow…what will happen to her family and parents…if they are elderly and they do not have son, they can comfortably forget them in the martyrdom she makes for you.
An ideal family will be which learns to respect the elders in both the families and accommodating them in their home, and assuring them of your help….for your information, this is happening in my family and a couple of my friends’ families, wherein both the boys’ parents and girls’ parents stay with the couple…and that is real joint family system…..adhithi deva bhavo is unfortunately twisted and thought of only as a man’s relatives. But even a woman’s relatives are adhithi, you know….please grow up and leave this patriarchial attitude….though technology has improved so much, our mindset is still many centuries behind.
this is for the god be with us anonymous lady. I would like to clear the air by saying tht in am not a male chauvenist. I am just another guy who wants to say tht you are not the only one with problems but tht doesnt mean I have more problems!! I am as happy as ever.
but still retaliating to your point. I guess you are not aware of a joint family concept at all. Both the parents of the married couple staying together is not a joint family. it just shows how happy and understanding the couple is!!! well in a joint family generations stay together. that doesn’t mean tht the gals family is left off. tadaa!!! they will also be living in a joint family. next the probability of a child to be a gal among all the generations is close to nil. that is the reason in india there were no old age homes when we were following our culture. technology development is necessary but tht doesnt mean w3 forget what were we before miss anonymous. along with development an open mindedness to develop our culture and integrity is important rather then just copying the western culture! so I think you are one having a purblind attitude as well vision. and by the way u write it is clear tht ur much older then me and married. so I need not say grow up but I would like to say stay happy and satisfied.
and I repeat I am not married. but yes I knw how to make my wife feel happy and important and for tht u neeed to be a bit patriarchical attitude. just tht I knw to use it the right way.
If you are not a male chauvinist then pl do not strive to be one….I am happy that you wrote, so that I can clarify.
Do you know how a patriarchal joint family system functions and why it disintegrated…a few of the reasons, are that it did not allow individual growth, and especially the women folk were affected. Another reason is the economical one, wherein when one member earned more and the other did not earn so much, but still enjoyed substantial benefits. It is not that we should not share, but every parent will have a dream for their own child, which needed to be subjugated under the joint family system…..the women were not allowed to go and meet their parents or siblings, and even if her family members come and visit her, they were treated with less hospitality by the husband’s family, so as to imply that their visits are not encouraged.
In those days women did not earn and so they were dependents and did not have any say in the financial or other aspects…it was only the mother-in-law’s voice that was heard….I do not understand why a woman should forego her career or aspirations just because she has got married and she need to be under the control of one family system.sorry to say…but many men think that women get satisfied just with marriage and kids, as shown in the movies.But the reality is very different. There are women, who are very talented and can go a long way but are sucked under family pressures. Now do not look into the urban population alone….or the cream of the layer like Kiran Mazumdar or Kalpana Chawla….they are just a few….these few do not represent a sizeable percentage of women population.
You may suggest why women need to achieve all these when they are treated like Goddess Lakshmi….and all those stuff. The women can also ask the same question to the men when the men try to climb the social or career ladder. Please try to understand that marriage is just one of the phases BOTH in your life and a woman’s life….her life and aspiration does not stop with marriage and kids…it is just ONE part of life and not THE life….both the husband and the wife need to plan for their kids and take turns to baby sit, and not expect only the woman to do it. By taking care of the kids, u r not doing HER any favour but u r just fulfilling ur parental duty. Grandparents and other relatives can only supplement this care but never replace it.
I may not have been able to include all the malaise of patriarchy….but if u think that u r not a male chauvinist and u wanted to give the best to your future wife, I would sincerely suggest you to go through the following links, which may help u understand what i try to convey…..if you do not, then u pl carry on with ur views…
The last one is how girl children are getting killed because they are considered burden to the parents and not Goddess Lakshmi as they are flattered into believing.
One more thing…..We all talk so ill about western culture, because we are modeling the wrong things they do. But are u aware that they do not kill girl children, just because they are born in that gender. They do not douse the wife in kerosene and burn her, for dowry. They wait for the elders to cross the road when they are traveling by cars, they have patience when they stand in a queue,they do not piss on the road side,or litter the place….let us look at the positive things they are doing and stop talking about the pub and drug culture. If the Indians wanted to copy, then why did they not take the good ones….it is OUR wrong choice and not THEIR bad influence. A person will become bad only if he/she chooses to be bad.They have taken the best out of us like yoga,meditation and adding turmeric to food, then why are we following their wrong habits. Is it our mistake or theirs?! Nuclear family is not a bad influence of theirs, it is the effect of the need of individual growth for every family member. Since it is still in a transition phase we are unable to understand it as our need than their influence. If at all nuclear family has its problems, then so did joint families. Let us not eulogize and sanctify one, and undervalue the other.
Thanks and All the Best.
Men certainly want to marry and bring up children in the best manner. Traditionally, they separated the roles in accordance with their innate nature -so women took care of household and childcare, and men went out to bring the bread on the table. Now this arrangement led to women getting confined to the four walls, and a lot of them with aspirations have found the traditional set-up as an obstacle. I understand their anguish. I believe that women should follow their dreams.
When you do follow your dreams, you will have to make sacrifices. Men make enormous sacrifices in pursuit of their ambitions -just look at all the men in your life. You might not find them whining and complaining because it’s not a ‘man thing’ to do. My point, however, is that certainly men bear the cost.
Many women, particularly feminists, on the other hand, have confused their battle for liberation with deriving concessions from the traditional set-up. Please remember that the traditional set-up is flexible only to a certain extent permissible by the cultural and economic parameters; beyond which there is a breakdown of this traditional arrangement. When feminists encounter this breaking point, they react in a bizarre manner by declaring marriage itself to be a liability for a woman.
Now we have reached a stage their perspective of ‘marriage-is-a-liability’ itself has become a liability -not just for women, but for society in general. This is because feminist have usurped the ’cause’ of women and they have no place for women who wish to struggle for better rights within the set-up. For feminists, the setup is ‘the evil patriarchy’ and no negotiation is therefore possible.
In response to this essay by Ms. Shivangi, I called on women to find out if their men indeed feel trapped in any manner. I have also stated that I find sexist jokes extremely distasteful. I found your response very combative, and also the reaction of Ms. Aparna personal in nature.
I hope you have understood the context of my observation.
Thanks and Regards
Your statement that ‘You might not find them whining and complaining because it’s not a ‘man thing’ to do’ itself is going against the fact that men are sending many jokes about being in marital traps….are they not whining through such jokes or complaining about their feelings, though, according to them, they are doing it in a humourous way. You may express your dislike for such jokes, but they do whine and crib right? It is not that they take life as it comes.
The bone of contention is NOT who is having greater stress or life’s pressures, but is everyone giving scope for the other person to fulfill each others aspirations in a society. When a man leaves for office, he just needs to get ready, dress up and go. But what does a woman have to do, even if she earning an equal pay? While you are talking so much about a man’s challenges while striving towards his ambitions, then why do not ask yourself these questions a woman faces:
1. Are you worried about getting up early and finishing off the household chores before you leave for work?
2. Are you worried about discriminatory practices at workplace just because of your gender and are there any sexual harassment from others?
3. Are you worried about the possibility of leaving late from office, and walking down on a dark lane scared that any one would rape you? You may be harmed for money or valuables, but rape….?
4. Do you have to explain to your in-laws that you may not be able to join them in preparing some special dish for some festival which falls on a week day?
5. Do you have to excuse yourself for going out to join your friends for a get together?
6. Do you have to excuse yourself for leaving your kids to your in-laws, for finishing off some family commitment?
All these are, apart from the project tensions and deadlines even she is subjected to in the office. There is an increase in women achievers, but it is because of their efforts despite what hurdles she is facing. But she is not standing in a man’s way towards his achievement in the name of tradition or customs. If at all you all are facing problems then it may be from the work place and outside, but for women they need to tackle both inside the house and outside. When a man leaves the house, he thinks that whatever happens with the kids, the wife is there to take care. How many are acknowledging this fact? Or how many men would like to stay back as house-husbands if the woman wants to earn and if they can lead a comfortable family life with that income?
In all these years, one thing I have found common in men is that they think they have doled out some great favour to women, by at least giving such ‘liberties’ like education, getting married to them and ‘allowing’ them to work and giving them some space to share in this world. These are basic rights any human should enjoy in a civilized society and not a favour to women.
If you find the responses combative it is purely because many men are updating themselves about the latest gadgets but when it comes to such issues, they still want to follow the age old tradition. Why be progressive in selfish needs and retrograde if it is others’ needs. I do not understand why men expect women to say everything softly and subtly to them, when they do not have any qualms in beating and abusing them. How many men talk politely to their partners? Just by using words like the ‘feminists’ do this and that, they either go into a defensive mode or express ideas as if every woman out there hates men. Let me clarify, feminists are not ‘men-haters’, but they try to see the scenario of the majority of the women population and then speak for them, just like you are doing now for the men folk (for something u felt u need to speak out). Does it mean you hate women? The feminists speak only after going in depth into the problem. There are many men who are feminists who truly try to empower the women. They speak after thorough understanding of the problems.
Anyway thanks for all your inputs. God Bless
i think we should agree to disagree… facts r always interesting but they cover the truth!!! it seems you have been affected a lot in life!!! masha allah. may god be with u and make u a bit more happy while please allow people like me to be happy and proceed with this beautiful problem driven which do ve a solution life. btw life is not so tough though. sab sahi ho jaayega beta.. have some courage.. have a nice day!!
Thanks for ignoring the problems u see clearly and displace it on others, as if it their selective attention. You can have ‘ostrich keeps its head in sand’ attitude. There are many who cannot accept reality though it is staring on the face. So is it that only when a person is ‘affected’ that they should speak like this? So, that means the bloggers in the links attached were all affected by some problem. Yes you are right. The problem they are affected is complacency of many people in this world, who do not want to see anything beyond the surface level. Poor souls, may their Christ, Krishna,Buddha or Gurus, help them all in coming out of their problems and give them peace. If those who are ignorant can be happy, then why not they! Wish everyone is as selfish and complacent. Surely our country will benefit by such attitude, wherein people do not think they should act until something happens to them. Moreover, if the facts highlighted in the articles are not true, then where is the proof to refute the same. So, what is the ulterior motive those people have, in churning out such statistics…to get attention and fame is it? Prove the point so that everyone can get enlightened.
So, only when the trees near our house are uprooted we should speak about global warming and environmental hazard? When someone speaks about these (though they are not affected) empathy can be faked and they should be wished for bringing peace in their life? So they are the ones who are affected and the others can feign peace. Would such comments have come had the topic been industrial hazard or depletion of natural resources.
Fine, people may continue in the ‘so-called’ world of ignorance (sorry syntax error,the word is ‘peace’). But let it be clear that many NGOs are working towards some crimes, not because they are affected directly by the crime, but because those people, by virtue of being a human, find the need to give the best for our future generation. Mother Teresa was not affected by leprosy, but she still treated the people with the same problem. Siddharta Gautama was not directly affected by illness, pain or suffering. He could have continued the life of a royal prince. But he shunned it to become Buddha. Does not the human values teach such virtues, irrespective of the religious belief upheld. True empathy towards suffering need not come only when a person suffers. It will come when a person feels heart and soul towards the pain of the others. Fine…anyway appreciate the views and God Bless.
@god be with us. two thumbs up! well written.
@kp you started the debate, then when it got heated and you had no answers left, you made it into an insulting joke and backed off.
Please do realize that women do make a lot of efforts and struggles for you. You’re still single, so just a tip: handle your future wife with love and understanding, your relationship will blossom, and you won’t need such “jokes”.
Well said Indian, I liked your response as I also felt the same about the heated discussion above…sorry posting this just now, as I came across this post only today..interesting read and enthusiastic comments from all..
I swear I am having fun!!! dude you are hillarious. 😀 😀 I will just speak a few words and you will continue your string of words attached with humorous adjectives!! Is this the way you react to everyone who has a different thought of view which is diverts from your thought?? and btw I never said I am supporting a male or female. all I am saying.. everyone has some problem to go through but still some people are always happy anf worried and tensed that the world is resting on their head attitude like you for whom I would like to show the ostrich head in the sand attitide!!
and btw just outta topic your syntax error was really awesome. which I couldn’t control and therefore I also conclude that you belong to the IT field. tension chod aur ek beer maar le. sab teek ho jaayega!! this is a mans attitude and trust me it works 😛
@ KP, What She (GOD BE WITH US) is telling, is something every working woman face everyday. Life is not easy and happy for everyone unlike you, and a big reason for this is the Indian society and people’s perception about women. Things don’t workout if you decide to avoid them and just chill and changing perception of people like you is really required in this country.
And yes, before pointing at ‘syntax’ error of others, please do a spell check of your own words !!
grt writing……..loved it
thanks Priyanka !
Liked what you have written….
Jokes should be in good taste and most often these wife jokes are not.
Yes, I agree!
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So true!! Why get married if marriage is a joke, wife is a terror. I could never figure out the joke part in such jokes.
Well written post Shivangi. While there are some husband jokes too- they are rare and they are not this widely circulated. This one is like a hammer on head to those who keep on feverishly fwding only those jokes 🙂
Good one !
Brilliant article, Shivangi! We need more people like you and more of such articles. Please keep writing. 🙂
Precise but to the point..Great job Shivangi…..
Thanks for writing this, Shivangi! Woman, I am relieved. While not personally a Whatsapper, Fb has helped shove many of these anti-women jokes on my plate. And complaining about them only gets me the label of “miserable/unfunny/feminist” (yes, that last is still pejorative). And when I try to match it by being sexist, the responses are fairly insulting.
But anyway, I’d started to think that I was off-balance in some way, unable to accept banter. So it’s really good to read this. Thanks. Married men jokes are just the tip of the ice-berg. There’s a whole ocean out there!
Let’s stay strong!
thanks everyone for reading and relating to it!
This really gets my goat, especially because Indian wives have to “compromise” and “adjust” SO much more than men.
Given our society and culture, such jokes are not only unfunny, they are downright cruel. They conveniently ignore all the mental harassment that the average Indian daughter-in-law is subjected to, the unequal foundations of every Indian marriage and the stereotype that all men are unwilling husbands.
I know that it is all said in jest, but there is probably a kernel of truth. Most Indian men don’t get married because they genuinely, truly, want to, but because the mother wants a “bahu” to serve her, and the father wants a “ghar ka chirag” to carry the family name forward.
No wonder then, that most Indian men see wives as an encumbrance, an imposition and a pain.
It’s also important to note that even the most un-likeable, unprepossessing man with the personality of a dried fish will find a wife, thanks to arranged marriages.
If left to themselves, a lot of these men would probably not marry, partly because they would never master the relationship skills to date a woman, and because such jokes probably arise from a repressed commitment phobia.
Lastly, to those men who find such jokes funny, would you laugh if the joke was on you? Would you act with grace if you discovered that your wife had the hots for your attractive neighbor; that she met a dude in office that she fantasises about, while making hot chapatis for your rotund tummy?
Exactly. As if 72 virgins are waiting for me if only I could dissolve my marriage.
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