Boys, It’s Time You Manage Your Urges!

Men need to be taught that they cannot disrespect a women's right to be in public by making them feel unsafe by their behaviour. 

Men need to be taught that they cannot disrespect a women’s right to be in public by making them feel unsafe by their behaviour. 

As a woman I am concerned about my safety as much as I am concerned about the safety of my kids and all other women living on this planet.

I often ponder about the society that we are living in today and where actually, are we as a society, headed to? The number of crimes reported against women have reached an alarming high, enough to shake our souls. Words like rape, eve teasing, stalking and molestation have become an indispensable part of our daily routines and they disgust me as much as they scare me.

Couple of days ago, I came across the horrifying case of a pervert, who started masturbating on his moving bike, apparently aroused by the sight of a few teenage girls riding in an auto, on a busy road with moving traffic in Mumbai! Disgusting as it sounds, the news was equally disturbing!

In response, those auto borne brave teenagers captured his act live on their cameras and tweeted his picture to Mumbai police. On their part, the police swiftly moved into action and nabbed this criminal in three hours straight. As I read through the article, I felt a chill run down my spine at his gruesome act. Was that man so deprived that he had to shed his shame and get into the mode on a moving bike?

After allowing the news to sink in, I was left thinking – why do I have to lower my eyes and hang my head in shame over a crime committed by this sick man? Nonetheless, many insensitive people will argue in favour of this man with statements such as “those girls must have done something wrong to invite this!” But I wish to counter all such illogical remarks with just one statement, “Yes, I am a woman and I’ll wear/do what I want, now? Even if I look at you and smile, how on earth can you interpret it as an invitation for sex?”

As a matter of fact, we are living in a paradoxical society wherein on one hand we are vocal about women empowerment & advocate gender equality while on the other, we feel weak at the smile of a woman and go to any extent to satiate our sexual quests (with her)! Just imagine the mental state of a man who can’t so much as control his urges and gets into action on a busy road without a shred of shame or fear of the law!

Laughably, these emotionally weak men take pride in their supremacy over women. But I wish to tell all such men that real strength lies not in being a man but in controlling your emotions and urges against all odds. Yeah! Because, in all likelihood, such men have forgotten the line that seaparates decency from vulgarity is very thin!

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Another brutal reality of our society is that we choose to conveniently pass statements like “Boys will be Boys” and “The woman in question should have dressed appropriately. Instead of holding the boys responsible, we prefer to sermonize the women folk about morals and pass diktats about how they should dress and behave.

What I fail to understand is why, instead of teaching the boys how to behave, do we, instead, try to find reasons to shift the blame on women? Just because some of you think we are the weaker sex! The reality is however, a stark contrast to your beliefs. Some take pleasure in passing irresponsible statements like, “Oh! men have needs?”

Oh! Well, we all have needs, fine you have needs too, so does that give you any right over my body? NO, it doesn’t!

Another news reported that a teenager was brave enough to defend her honour by bobbitizing her attacker! Had this girl not shown extraordinary courage and spontaneity, she would have become yet another number in the police files, running from pillar to post, seeking justice against her rapist and his uninvited crime.

I think it’s high time to stop preaching our girls what not to wear and switch focus, instead, on the boys teaching them how to respect a woman, her honour and dignity! It’s time to blow the winds of change, to secure a safe future for our kids, lest they become one of these numbers (God forbid) in the piled up police files, wailing for justice, which is an elusive commodity in our country!

To all who think otherwise, Yes, I am a Woman and No, I don’t Invite Rape! So please mind your own urges, emotions and your business!

Published here earlier.

Image source: shutterstock


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