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Mothers are supposed to be these paragons of virtue and duty, which is crazy! Be yourself! It is perfectly OK to be imperfect!
So, how many of you yummy mommies are guilt ridden by the self-confessed and self-crowned title imperfect? Frankly, I drown in the deep sea of self guilt and admonish myself for being imperfect, lot many times! Other times when I am happy and brimming with joy I think, OMG! Why should I feel guilty for being ME?
Not sure what you mommies think about this, but yes, I do believe in being imperfect, and strongly so! Imperfect and selfish are two words that will continue to hound women for so long as they are mothers.
To reason with right and wrong for myself, I often indulge in a Q&A session with myself. I ask:
Does being a mother mean I have to kill the girl in me?
Don’t mothers have the right to leave the tag of mommy behind for a while and spread their wings?
I understand, being a mommy is indeed a tough job. There are times when I am left convinced that climbing Mount Everest is far easier than managing my daily schedules as a mother. Juggling home, and work related jobs, switching roles of wife-mother-wife, balancing family-woman & professional-woman hats is extremely tiring.
Multitasking gets the better of me most of the times, I admit. No sooner do the rays of sun light up my room, I am expected to report on duty and do it until a good part of night is lost, running errands, taking orders, absorbing rebuke, keeping shut, enduring pain and most of all sacrificing small joys for the sake of the larger happiness of my FAMILY. Hello, my duty ain’t over yet. I have to be alert, even in the dead of the night, to ensure ALL IS WELL around me, when my darling husband is in a state of deep slumber, completely unawares of his surrounding.
I wouldn’t be fair to myself if I say I harbour no qualms for rendering my never-ending services. Of course, I do, like all other people around me and women, who shy away from admitting so. More than anything else, I feel I am entitled to harbour grudges and rightly so!
My point here is that why should I give up on my imperfections that are ingrained deep within, which help me create my identity and that allow me to be me. Simple. Is is fair to let go of my passions, identity, dreams and desires, to just please others around me.
Some of you might give in with an unhappy nod, but sorry, I ain’t willing to. I have been sailing in the marital ship for over 7-years and am a mommy since the last 5+ years of my life. Equipped with such hands down experience, I sure can say, yes mommies, it’s time to stop feeling guilty about a whole lot of things.
Here’s a list of top-most things that all mothers – new, old & expectant should be doing:
You don’t have to be a glam doll or a trophy wife/mommy all the times.
Wear as many hats as possible but never cloak your originality, even if that means imperfection.
Stop getting bogged down about unending lectures on how to be perfect or lead a robotic life, much to the chagrin of your inner selves.
Wear your attitude and go out as you deem important.
Learn to say hello to imperfection even if that upsets a whole world around you. You can please others only when you are in a position to please your inner quest to simply be YOU!
Most mommies seems to have eliminated the word NO from their dictionaries. Just because you are a mommy doesn’t also mean you lose the right to say NO.
Just in case you think it’s OK to forget the word NO, let me remind you, it’s not. A strong woman who knows her limits will never shy away from saying the word NO. After all, you weren’t born on this earth to please everyone. Were you, I ask?
So, saying NO is just OK. Say no when you don’t feel like doing a thing against your will and you are too tired to do anything. After all, ain’t this the lesson we ought to teach our daughters!
Which woman doesn’t like to receive compliments? My answer – a mommy who has long forgotten she too is a woman!
So mommies, here’s a wake up call. Try to remember the times when you enjoyed receiving a shower of compliments. No matter your age and status, remember, you are still the same beautiful woman, that you were then. So, why is it that you shy away from compliments and rather feel guilty about receiving them from people other than your husbands? Now is the time to revive that long forgotten habit of accepting compliments graciously sans guilt and awkwardness!
When was the last time you did something for yourself? I mean how many of you mommies remember the last time when you did something that satiated your ego and soul, something that is called Hobby? Never mind, now is the right time to indulge and immerse in a once-upon-a-time-my-favorite hobby of your choice that fills your heart with childlike mirth.
I picked up 10-books from World Book Fair recently and am done with two already. For the sake of my love for books, I don’t mind being tagged – selfish!
Mothers sure are supposed to behave in an ever sophisticated manner and create an aura of perfection around them so as to pass on tonnes of goodness to their off springs. In a bid to behave like Miss Goody Two Shoes, mommies often have to swallow their self-pride and absorb rude shocks that come along ‘unwarranted’ with unpleasant remarks.
Rather than sulking later or letting it fester in your mind, it is better to retaliate, albeit wrapped in the bitter-sweet packet of sarcasm. That serves the twin purpose – pouring your heart over and giving your piece of mind without offending anyone!
So, have you decided to embrace your imperfect selves, then?
Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
Mommie of two beautiful kids! Daughter of amazing parents. Elder sister of a younger brother.
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My 10 Point Checklist For Being The Badass Guilt-free Parent
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