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I always thought of myself as unattractive, and so everyone thought so too! This is how I learnt to see the beauty within myself, turning my life around.
Few years back I met a girl. Average student, doing an average desk job at an IT company and quite safe within her comfort zone. After meeting her several times, I realized that she was an insecure, jealous girl whose main aim in life was to please everybody no matter what the cost. She refused to go out partying cause she believed that she would be an outcast since she was not pretty, and nothing that she wore ever made her look good. Her favorite past time was to scroll through her FB page and mope about how pretty the other girls were and how she wished that someone told her that she was beautiful. She lacked self confidence. She felt lonely.
When I met her for the first time, I hated her. I despised her. I was spiteful. Little did I realize that the more I hated her, the more she broke up from within. She looked up to to me to be loved and admired, but I refused her even that. I broke her heart.
But even hatred has a limit and I had reached that. So I decided to give her what she wanted: Love. I sat down with her one day. She looked at me, scared and rejected. I looked at her and forced myself to say, “You are beautiful and I love you.”
The change on her face was quite evident. She looked at me first, trying to take in what I said, and then smiled. The smile made her face shine. “Say it again!” “I like you and you are beautiful,” I said. Her smile broadened. She smiled not for just others, but for herself.
That was a turning point in her life. The girl who hid from everyone, now started socializing. There was a skip in her walk, a sparkle in her eyes, a smile on her lips and confidence in her heart. Those few words changed her life for the better and I was responsible for it.
The girl in this story was me. Yes, that was my old self. The insecure, lonely creature was me. The day I decided to make ME my first priority, and got to know ME better, and started liking what I saw, my world changed. Not overnight, but gradually.
How often have we faced this question during interviews? “So, tell me about yourself.” And you start off with “Ok, I am so and so. Completed my education in so and so…” Nonsense! No one wants to hear that. They can already read about that in your resume. Tell them something that they don’t know about you. Something that will grab their attention; something that will make you stand out from the rest. And this can only be achieved IF you know who YOU are.
So, get over those resolutions like losing those extra flab or learning a new language etc., and be firm that this year you will know who you are. Trust me, once you know who you are, those other goals like losing flab and learning new stuff, will happen automatically.
So, you may ask, “how do I get to know the real me?” If I would have been in your place, here’s what I would have done. Ask around. The people who know me best now, are my family and my closest friends. Ask them about what they think of you; your positives as well as your negatives. Remember, only a true friend will not hesitate to reveal to you your dark areas. They mean well, so don’t jump down their throat when they point it out.
Make a list of these Good and Bad qualities and they try and figure out how you can make the good points stronger and what can be done to reduce the black areas. Like one of my bad qualities is that I am extremely sensitive. Even if a stranger behaves rudely to me, I think about it for the next few days and then of course I end up feeling bad about myself. But, now that I am getting to know me better, I know what I ACTUALLY am. So now, if some random stranger behaves rudely to me…who cares?
So you need to be strong. Learn to differentiate between your true well-wishers and your fair-weather friends. What your well-wishers tell you and what they feel about you is more important than what your fair-weather friends tells you.
Stand in front of a mirror one day and try to find out the best features in you. At first it will be very difficult if you have been feeling that you are ugly all throughout your life, but try. I have a big nose and believe me when I say big, it is big. People had been making fun of me since I was a kid and people still do. But, now there’s a difference. Earlier when people made fun of me, I cried and I cursed God for making me like this.
Then, one say I saw someone whose nose (or whatever was left of it) is not something that I would like to discuss about. The first words out of my lips that time were, “Thank you God for giving me a nose”. Now, if people make fun of my nose, I laugh with them, because I have learned to appreciate myself.
You maybe cross eyed or have a bad voice or anything, at the end of the day, it’s not your external beauty that matters, but the beauty of your heart. I have had my heart broken several times, because the guys I went for were the ones to whom external beauty was more important and not the heart and that’s the reason why they broke it so easily. These people are not meant to be in your lives. A person who cares more about your heart is worth having your heart broken thousand times for.
So, stop thinking that you are ugly. No one is ugly. Look deep within you and you will get to know a person who is even prettier than any of the Miss World contestants.
Image source: beauty within by Shutterstock.
I won't rest until I meet my goal to become a well known writer.
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