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The 'women are gold diggers' stereotype persists in jokes and memes, despite there being no evidence that women are any more money minded than men. “A stron
The ‘women are gold diggers’ stereotype persists in jokes and memes, despite there being no evidence that women are any more money minded than men.
“A strong woman asks only for 3 things from her man..Honesty, time and loyalty” – Unknown
Women are often stereotyped as those who love to shop and waste the hard earned money of their husbands or boyfriends. Check some of the videos on youtube and you will see women leaving the mall smiling while the poor husband is shown carrying a pile of shopping bags and an empty wallet.
Quite often I have heard men whining about how their expenses have gone up now that they are in a relationship or how they have no savings because they have to take their girlfriend/wife out for dinner almost every month. Quite a few whatsapp messages or memes are often circulated where they show a single man with a heavy wallet and smiling, and a man who is in a relationship with a sad face holding an empty wallet. And it is memes and jokes like this that stereotype women and label them as someone who marries a man for his money.
But (sadly for all those chauvinists out there), this is not the reality. A true woman, a strong woman will never judge a man on how much he is earning. A true woman will walk alongside her partner when required and not leave him when he cannot provide for her anymore.
A woman understands the hardship that her man goes through. A true woman splits the restaurant bill or maybe takes turns to pay any bills. A strong woman will never play victim or the maiden in distress. She would rather keep shut and deal with her own burden than bother others. But she is always there when someone else needs a shoulder to cry upon.
For a woman, her husband might be the love of her life but her world never revolves solely around him; she does what she wants and she keeps herself as a priority too. She is the owner of her own smile.
A strong woman who can earn for herself can survive without her man’s money or house, but if she loves you with all her heart, she might find it difficult to survive without your love because that is what she needs the most; her beloved’s love and trust. She has been brought up like a warrior who can face the world alone, but sometimes, it feels great to know that someone has your back.
There are women who are not earning for themselves and for them, their husband’s money is the only source. Does that mean that they are not strong? No. These women (keeping in mind my family) have stood by their husband when in need and have been there to pick them up when they fell. Fending for yourselves is not the only thing that measures how strong a woman is; her character, her thoughts too act as a measuring stick.
She need not be a pillar all through. There are times when even a pillar starts showing cracks and one day, perhaps crumbles down. But, what matters is how she springs back to her old self and becomes the support that she had been for so many.
She needs your time and your loyalty and a hug from you once in a while. Be with her and hold her tight; that is all that she needs to make her smile.
“Do not be the woman who needs a man, but be the woman a man needs”- Anonymous. Get up and dust yourself and get ready to face the world. There will be times when you would feel that you cannot take it anymore – do not fret..Slow down but strike up again.
Woman shopping image via Shutterstock
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).