The Orange Flower is back! We invite content creators to roar for change. Nominate yourself or a friend for awards, and join us at a day-long fest in Mumbai in celebrating women’s voices!
We’re told often that we’re not good enough – not fair/thin/tall/pretty enough. What does this do to our happiness? Are you apologetic about your imperfections? Don’t be, says this post!
The world is full of stereotypes. A girl is expected to be dainty, delicate, pretty and most importantly, slim. Likewise, a mother must be corpulent, homely, must cook well, and should be the epitome of love and sacrifice. A wife should be traditional, bearing all the symbols of being married, and her demeanour should be such. There are opinions on the ideal way a woman should behave in, ideal body that a woman must have, there is scrutinizing the figure, the size, the curves and there’s judging.
People see someone dressed or looking a bit different and instantly form an opinion. Most of us spend almost all our life trying to fit in, trying to be appropriate and trying to mould ourselves in a particular role that we think the world expects out of us.
To add to the misery of a woman there are these advertisements that have porcelain-faced and beautiful-bodied models showing the horrifying wrath some wrinkles can bring upon your married life and how gaining some extra pounds can actually lead you to be somewhat invisible in your husband’s life. To win him back you must have that perfect body and that wrinkle-free flawless face shown in the advertisement!
The concept of “anti-ageing” and “looking younger” and only perfect bodied and flawless-skinned women gaining attention and getting love and even professional success is slowly getting embedded in the way most people think, the way we act, and finally puts extra pressure on a woman. Nowhere have I seen the simple concept of a woman being happy and thus looking radiant, or a woman not having the perfect curves, not having the porcelain skin and still being loved, adored by her husband and respected by her children or getting her due professionally.
To me, every fold, every curve, every wrinkle, every bulge has a story to tell. Those extra pounds may tell the story of a sweet tooth, the much scrutinized stomach bulge might be the result of a pasta night well enjoyed, that wrinkle might be the worry for a loved one, the skin is not that perfect maybe because instead of spending time on herself, she chose to cook that special dinner for the family.
To me, every fold, every curve, every wrinkle, every bulge has a story to tell.
It doesn’t take a young woman to turn heads, it doesn’t take a Greek goddess to catch people’s attention and it doesn’t take a size zero to make people love her. All it takes is how happy she feels from within. It is happiness that catches the attention of people, that’s contagious, that makes someone stand apart from the rest.
Being happy with one’s own self is not all that difficult either. What it takes is a little bit of faith and a few ounces of confidence to realize that the only place where true happiness actually lies is within our own self. The more we try and make it a synonym for something or someone, the more distant it becomes.
There is no other being like the person you are and every person is a unique creation. A creation that should be loved, respected and cared for, bearing in mind no one would be generous enough to grant all these if you don’t think of yourself to be worthy of them. Be someone who has the freedom to be able to choose to look and feel the way you want, someone who is happy having the flaws, is perfectly content in the little imperfections that life has and finally emerges as a happy individual.
The world out there is not as friendly as you would want it to be, it’s neither as forgiving as you would like it to be and neither does it care for reasons. Life is too short and rushes by us and the best way to sail through is to live it to the fullest, to be unabashedly happy and to be unapologetic about the way you are.
This post was first published here.
Pic credit: Stewf (Used under a CC license)
Superb. This post made my day!
Glad to know that ! 🙂
your article reached me just when i needed it.
Its a pleasure Nivedita !! Happy to have struck a chord through my words 🙂
Who Rules Cyberspace?
Women At Work Expected To Think And Act Like Men, Yet Be ‘Womanly’ Enough To Not Be ‘Intimidating’!
What The ‘Badass’ Sania Mirza Shows Us About Standing Up To Trolls
As A 30 y.o. Indian Single Woman, Self-Judgement Was The Hardest To Get Rid Of!
Get our weekly mailer and never miss out on the best reads by and about women!