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Dad is as much a parent as Mom is. How many of you know a Dad who who is a hands on parent, though? This Dad is.
Most of us talk big about shared parenting responsibilities! But how many of us mothers/wives are actually sure that the daddies/husbands of the house are partaking their parenting responsibilities equally and with seriousness?
Well, I can swear in the name of God that my husband is an equal party to all parenting obligations that revolve around our two beautiful kids!
I am truly blessed to have a man as my husband and the father to my kids who never shies away from his responsibilities wherein our kids are involved. Despite his hectic and time strapped schedule, he ensures that the kids get a pie of his time too. It’s a sweet deal for me especially because we live in a chauvinistic world but here I am relishing the fruits of shared parenting responsibilities. I can’t thank him enough for making my life this smooth.
I may not have said this to him but yes my husband is a perfect mommie to my kids! He loves them unconditionally and cares about them in my absence as much as in my presence. He is gentle in his parenting approach and showers the young ones with unflinching love and care. He is protective and nurtures them just the way a mother does!
These days my MIL and my daughter are in Bangalore and we are home with our son and FIL, who unfortunately can’t handle kids the way they should be handled. As working parents, the ball is back in our courts about having to deal with our kid in her absence and his presence! Thus, we’ve mutually decided to take care of him by sharing our responsibilities in a way that it doesn’t upset out routines and careers.
On his part, he has broken the stereotypes attached with a man/daddy/husband as far as childcare is concerned and I salute his dedication, a million times over! He arrives home late at night from work (usually at 2 am) yet wakes up at about 6 am to dress up our son for school. He hides his tiredness behind that grin to make sure that Lalla is ready to board his school van at sharp 7:20 am. All this for me to enjoy the luxury of time so that I can, in the meanwhile, prepare his breakfast and lunch in peace, without having to juggle the kitchen and bathroom incessantly. On my part, I am emphatic towards him but can do little other than feeling grateful for all the help that he renders uncompromisingly day after day!
These days he is working from home so that he can spend maximum time with Lalla and make him feel wanted and loved, and correct his behavior. Not that his office is any less important than mine but I am not privileged enough in my work to enjoy this blissful luxury – of working from home. There is a dire need to fix Lalla’s behavior towards food as he is a finicky eater and my husband has taken the onus upon him to rectify his stern/rigid food habits. I admit that he is much more patient in dealing with kids than me, and follows a mind blowing approach to get work done. Perhaps being a people’s manager does come to your rescue at home in a big way!
No it doesn’t end there, in between his work commitment he squeezes enough time throughout the day to feed him, put him off to sleep, look after his toilet needs, makes him do his homework, play with him, talk to him and at times pick & drop him from school! This and more without ever cribbing!
As surprising as it may sound, it fills my heart with immense pride and joy to say that yes, this daddy is indeed a perfect mommie!
Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
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Before expecting the daughter in law to love, respect and accept the new family, it is only fair that the family demonstrates all of these first.
If you are a married Indian woman, one of the first words you hear from your in laws is that you are now a daughter of the house. How true is that statement though? Are daughters in law really treated as daughters or is this only lip service?
A friend recently confided how hurt she felt when she wanted to visit her in-laws along with her husband but was told not to, because the in-laws wanted time alone with their son. Naturally, she was taken aback since she had always been fed this trope – that she was the daughter, not the daughter in law. Why then this sudden keeping at arm’s distance? Would a son in law ever be told not to accompany his wife on her visit to her parents because they wanted quality time with their daughter? That is unimaginable in a patriarchal society.
It is ok to want time alone with the married offspring but how does that meld into the Indian family system, where independent choices are less important than the whole family coming together?
Beauty is a very clever, very evil capitalist tool. It traps those who have it into hanging on to it for dear life and those who don't into mutilating, torturing themselves to achieve the unachievable.
I recently wrote a piece about MP Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in which he had shared a pic with six women parliamentarians tagging them and saying “Who says the Lok Sabha isn’t an attractive place to work?”
There was a rash of comments on the post shared on Instagram, which ranged from “chill, it’s just a compliment” and “stop overthinking compliments”, to (worried) men lamenting about “these feminazi”.
Here’s my answer to all those comments.
Are hands-on dads a modern concept or have they always lived amongst us, sans labels? Or did those of us who grew up with them get lucky?
Are hands on dads a modern concept or have they always lived amongst us, sans labels? Or did those of us who grew up with them get lucky?
A few years ago, I was on a family trip when I heard my father-in-law catch up with my sister-in-law about her schoolmates. He would start saying a name, the full name of the former friend and then ask her where she was based. He knew the full names of all her classmates from more than fifteen years ago and he also knew the academic streams they had chosen. I was quite impressed by how he had taken the pains to remember each and every child his daughter had interacted with.
Cut to earlier this year, when I had a high school reunion in my hometown. My father, who came to pick me up, knew all the ‘kids’ (in a manner of speaking) who had turned up. He even remembered parts from my school life that I myself had forgotten. These men to me are truly hands on dads.
Most Indian moms feel parenting today is a detailed to-do list. But do they pay the price of intensive parenting with their derailed careers?
Roshni Mathew, a Human Rights Lawyer from Mumbai became a stay at home mother (SAHM), as of few weeks ago. When her daughter completed 6 months, she realized she could not have it all. While she says it was her choice to quit, she acknowledges that her husband did not face too much pressure to make changes to his professional life. She emphasizes her choice even while clarifying that mothers are expected to immerse themselves in intensive parenting much more than before.
‘I feel that Indian mothers of today are under too much pressure to raise perfect children from their own mothers, aunts and other women,’ she says.