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Why does a woman have to be married to be settled? What is wrong in being an unmarried woman having a fulfilling life?
Two years ago all I wanted was to be married and settled. Yes, settled. The “me” of then really thought settled meant husband and babies.
Alas, I refused to be part of the charade – well needless to say was rejected, or better to say I was considered an outcast from my society, as I refused to agree to paying a dowry. Who gets married without dowry that too to an NRI groom?
My near and dear ones still think I live on Cloud Nine and once I fall I will realize my grave mistake. The list includes not only blood relatives, but neighbors as well.
It was heartbreaking at first. I was torn between desire to be a good daughter and sister, and to be myself. There is a social taboo that says if the elder sister is unmarried, the younger sister will find difficult in getting hitched.
And oh before I forget, let me say that I am supposed to live in the era of feminism. I am supposed to live in the era of free speech and gender equality. I am supposed to live in a modern friendly society!
Let me tell you where all this is leading – it all it should have been a pleasant experience for a 30 something me when I recently purchased two bedroom flat.
However I was wrong.
In a recent Society meeting every one present asked my husband’s name and email id! They wouldn’t believe it when I told them I was unmarried. I had to stress that “I am not married/ NEVER been married!” All the people there were all in the same age group as me; hence not even generation gap issue.
It does not affect me at an emotional level but at an intellectual level, I still find it difficult to understand society’s preoccupation with MARRIAGE!
Life is beautiful these days. Indeed it is true that experiences makes us who we are. From a depressed struggling individual to successful business woman today, I strive hard to seek answers which still haunt me.
What is marriage?
Is it a compulsion or is it a choice?
Is it a safety vault where girls can secure their life?
Is it a license to have sex?
Is it union of two body to become one soul?
Is it being settled ?
Is it permission to procreate?
Is it a guarantee of happiness?
I am not against marriage. I am also not a rebel. I believe in love.
I am thirty something woman. But yes I am woman with dreams. Woman with hopes. Woman with desire. Woman with a heart full of compassion and love.
A woman who is still figuring out the answer to the question when asked, “Why are you still not settled?”
Image source: annoyed and baffled woman by Shutterstock.
Founder@AngeTactile ( Angel Touch). Tarot Card /Angel Card reader. Image Consultant An Engineer by Education, Classical Dancer by passion and Writer by Choice. I am passionate about Educating Girls/differently abled children in India and read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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