#CelebrateingtheRainbow at the workplace – share your stories of Pride!
Being rejected in the arranged marriage market is not the end of the world. Here's an account of living alone, living strong.
Being rejected in the arranged marriage market is not the end of the world. Here’s an account of living alone, living strong.
Several times, I hear people discussing why girls like me find it difficult to get married. A girl like me – who is twenty-eight, living in a city all by herself, and running her own little business. I have cried at times, (yes, I accept it here) after I went through rejections. After I heard lots of nasty comments directed at me by my so-called relatives, I too broke down. I too did not have the courage to look up and see the mirror. Perhaps I convinced myself that a girl like me is not good enough.
But after six months, I am writing this. I write this now to tell everybody that a girl like me can bounce back and face the world. This is the one life I have got, and I am going to live it. I am not going to hide, nor am I going to escape. I am going to face each one, and would request them to speak to me directly instead of troubling my parents with the rude and sarcastic comments – that having a feminist daughter who is single at twenty-eight is a curse.
Let me say this to all the well-wishers: being independent, strong-headed, and smart does not mean that I am Anti-Men. It just implies that I too deserve equal opportunity and treatment like men. Simple! Is that a lot?
Why the taunt – wish you were a son? Would we then have been spared the unending insults from society? How many times I was reminded that my dream of getting a Master’s degree is useless, since the fee money for that could be used as dowry! How many times I have been reminded that even if the boy is of my choice, the wedding arrangements and every cost that would be incurred by the bride’s side is not to be equally split between two families!
I still am an unmarried girl with dreams and sky-high hopes. I still convince myself that I will manage. I still smile and start my day. I still go around and work. I still refuse to enter the arranged marriage market. I still laugh when my mother desperately calls only those people who have mentioned “no dowry” on their marriage advertisements.
I still am an unmarried girl with dreams and sky-high hopes. I still convince myself that I will manage.
No, I am not against marriage. I would love to get married, have two babies, and cook exotic dinners for my husband. But I would rather marry the man who could be my partner, who could be the one who does not demand respect but commands respect. I still enjoy karwachauth and teej and all the rituals; not because I am superstitious, but it is just another opportunity for me to rush to the nearest Salon and get a manicure done. Sounds greedy, but then that is how girls like me are. We want more from life and refuse to settle for anything less. So, is this a crime?
Craving for a perfect life with an imperfect set of relationships is fun at times. Every moment is worth it. I do feel sad that nothing seems to change. Social stigma around unwed girls approaching thirty still remains. Dowry is still practised despite several strict laws and fair is still considered lovely. This is the country I was born in, but then c’est la vie (such is life)! I try to fit in. I remind myself of Steve Jobs’ very famous lines and smile. Perhaps he (unknowingly) referred to girls like us:
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Pic credit: Image of confident woman used for representational purposes only, via Shutterstock.
[email protected] ( Angel Touch).
Tarot Card /Angel Card reader.
An Engineer by Education, Classical Dancer by passion and Writer by Choice.
I am passionate about Educating Girls/differently abled children in India and read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Can you believe this bloke compelled me to wear only saris - full time at home- till the eighth month of my pregnancy?! The excessive heat coupled with humidity made my life miserable.
Recently when I browsed an interesting post by a fellow author on this very forum I had a sense of déjà vu. She describes the absolutely unnecessary hullabaloo over ladies donning nighties and /or dupatta –less suits.
I wish to narrate how I was in dire straits so far wearing a ‘nightie’ was concerned.
I lived in my ultra orthodox sasural under constant surveillance of two moral guardians (read Taliban) in the shape of the husband’s mom and dad. The mom was unschooled and dim-witted while the dad was a medical practitioner. But he out-Heroded the Herod in orthodoxy.
My supervisor introduced me as a valuable member of the team, emphasizing my skills and contributions rather than focusing on my gender identity. This simple act set the tone for my experience in the workplace.
As a transwoman navigating the corporate world, I had encountered my fair share of discrimination and challenges. Transitioning without the support of my parents and having limited friendships in my personal life made the journey difficult and lonely. However, when I stepped into the office, something remarkable happened, I left behind the stress and negativity, embracing a space where I could truly be myself.
Joining the marketing team as a graphic designer, I was initially apprehensive about how my colleagues would react to my gender identity. But to my surprise, the atmosphere was welcoming and respectful from day one. My supervisor, Sarah, introduced me as a valuable member of the team, emphasizing my skills and contributions rather than focusing on my gender identity. This simple act set the tone for my experience in the workplace.
As I settled into my role, I discovered that my colleagues went out of their way to make me feel comfortable and included. They consistently used my correct name and pronouns, creating an environment where I could be authentically me. Being an introvert, making friends wasn’t always easy for me, but within this workplace, I found a supportive community that embraced me for who I truly am. The workplace became a haven where I could escape the stresses of my personal life and focus on my professional growth.
Please enter your email address