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It is we who consciously or subconsciously introduce children to common gender stereotypes of "boys don't do this"!
Boys do the same things as girls at an early age. It is we who consciously or subconsciously introduce them to common gender stereotypes of boys don’t do this!
As parents, and the first as well as lifelong teachers for our kids, we are always on heels and toes to teach them things. The dos and don’ts of life – age specific. As per the views we hold, we try to evaluate our child’s actions or even thoughts as they grow older; and if we don’t feel it right, we try to coach them.
Expectation of gender specific behavior is sometimes subconscious. Sometimes I am not even aware when I end up making gender stereotypical comments or decisions for my son. Below is a list of things which in full awareness I would not teach my son to do.
‘Boys don’t cry’ is something I have heard all my life. Crying cleanses your eyes and soothes your heart. Tears are sometimes the only solution to emotional distress. And if one is to raise emotionally sensitive and caring human beings (girls or boys) you can never take away the right to cry.
One of the modern additions to gender stereotype is the selection of color. Pink for girls and blue for boys. However the color distinction came across, it has been ruthlessly re-inforced by the retail industry. One has no choice but to dress your boys in blue and colors in the spectrum around blue!
My 3 year old loves his pink Dora bag and sports it everywhere he goes. And I would be lying if I said I never got commented on it once in a while. The moment he sits to color the first crayon (and sometimes the only one) he uses is purple. Would I lean him away from his instincts towards something apparently more suited to his being a boy? Never!
I would love to paint the walls in his room pink with flowers and his ceiling blue, and if my little one shares my interest, one day I would surely do it.
Kitchen is one place where we still see girls spending more time and energy than boys. A little girl’s interest in making rotis with her toy rolling pin or help her mother decorate cupcakes is encouraged. Whereas little boys are not even allowed a kitchen set!
When we talk about equality, the first thing in Indian culture which needs fixing is kitchen matters. We still hesitate in giving our boys the rolling pin and that has to change. If to make a girl independent we give her education and career apart from everything else, boys need to know how to fix their own meals and put dishes away to be truly self-sufficient.
It is very natural for us to gift dolls to girls and cars to boys. However, as a toddler all his toys were gender neutral.
As he grew older, he grew affinity towards trains, cars and trucks. It was a natural choice and it’s all good. However his occasional desires to play with a toy stroller or a kitchenette is not something which we avoid. He might love to dance or play soccer or probably just enjoy sewing! None of his choices would be judged on the manliness scale.
Feminist goals would be truly achieved when the world doesn’t need feminism anymore. Hence along with empowering our girls, we need to empower our boys too, albeit in the right way.
Image source: boy cooking by Shutterstock.
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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