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From the time my older child was about 5 years old, I started thinking about a second child, but I was never convinced enough to plan further. I think being convinced and planning for a second one is a really tough decision.
After my first child was born, I was very clear that I am not having a second child, because I did not want to go through the whole experience of pregnancy again.
I guess many moms would relate to this — pregnancy and motherhood is not easy, after all. It takes a toll on physical and mental health of women.
Yet here I am penning this article 1.5 months after delivering my second one.
From the time my older one was about 5 years old, I started thinking about a second child, but I was never convinced enough to plan further. I think being convinced and planning for a second one is a really tough decision.
Most people want a kid, we only question ourselves when it comes to the second. Also, my post-partum health was not good, so I never felt positive about going through it again.
But I always thought — later in life I would regret not giving a sibling to my older one, and by then it may be too late. I had these conflicting thoughts for 3 years!
I read every article that listed the pros and cons of having a second baby, and I was more convinced about the cons, maybe because I was never ready.
When COVID hit us in 2020, everything changed. Yes, it changed for everyone in the world, but for me, it brought from a new perspective. COVID’s second wave in India was pretty bad, and it claimed many lives.
We heard cases where parents lost their lives to COVID and their children were left to fend for themselves. And what if the child is a single child? I couldn’t imagine the plight of such kids. That was the first thing that changed my mind.
In future, I didn’t want my son to be alone in this world. Life doesn’t come with any guarantee — after us, he needs some emotional support and only siblings can offer that.
Friends do help, but sibling bond is very different. I also saw this when my MIL was ailing. So this was the next thing that changed my mind.
I lost my FIL 10 years back and my MIL was not keeping well since 2020. Over time, her health deteriorated, and we knew what to expect. During these testing times, I realized how important it is to have a sibling.
I saw the bond between my husband and his sister (who lives abroad) strengthen. They knew they need to be there for each other. While my MIL was ailing, they were constantly connected and were each other’s emotional support. That was the second time I realized the importance of a sibling.
So here I am with two kids who are 8 years apart! And it is so heartening to see my older one play with my newborn.
Image Source: Yogendra Singh via corelens, free on Canva Pro
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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