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This mom had been told to discard her infant daughter at birth, but she stood by her, and brought her up against many odds, and is now an accomplished woman, mom to an accomplished daughter.
A little angel came to my home with no band brass, no sweet distribution, and no celebration. Even when I was standing at the entrance gate of my in law’s home with that tiny baby, I was scolded by a sister-in-law, and asked why I didn’t throw her out in the bin as she was a girl child.
I was just 21 yrs old then, without the awareness that I have now. I celebrated my motherhood silently, with pain in my heart, and a strong promise that she would be my only child; no son required. I did it with great courage. I was doing my graduation that time, and managed to complete my education even with all the house hold chores that were my responsibility, and my daughter made my life colourful and enlightened me in many ways.
I had a hunger for education and self reliance, and I wanted an independent life. Maybe my story would have been of a hapless and desperate woman if I had aborted her as a ‘female foetus’ as some family members wanted me to do. Fear was a constant companion then and despair was my friend.
Of course the scenario changed rapidly when she started growing up. My problems, my anxieties with all hopes and expectations transformed to joy when I started teaching her at home from nursery level onwards. She proved herself a brilliant student with talent in all extra curricular activities too, and became a good orator.
She was a warrior of sorts too. I must thank her, for whom I gained some mastery in English; day by day my vocabulary became stronger talking in Engish with her. It was quite natural that she became very adorable to every one in my small town. She made me so confident that I found my way out even when I faces acute turbulence in my life. I had to struggle for my identity for her future. My husband had a traditional mindset, but her magical aura could change his thinking too. The entire family started loving her like a jewel of the crown. Her good behaviour and culture bloomed. A girl from small town, now making miracles at my state capital being a protagonist. Her bravery and courage makes news.
I could qualify for UGC NET JRF SRF and got a national fellowship for doing a Ph.D. I wrote many books, got many awards including a fellowship for outstanding personality from Govt of India in literature. My fortune came in the form of a girl child that I stood first (Topper) in my state PSC, and qualified for a Government Lecturership when she was at school in class ninth. I did many courses, and do a lot of of social work – especially for the education of drop-out students of my locality, and for orphans. I do blood donation camps too.
My daughter is my greatest supporter. She started purchasing my out-fits. Indian and Western, including jeans-T shirts. My family being a conservative one would protest, but could understand due to her.
She cares for and nurtures me just as if I were her daughter. She is gifted with an extra-ordinary vision of life, and a maturity beyond her years.
A daughter is a blessing and a treasure in life indeed! She is now in her 3rd year, doing MBBS. When I got admitted to a hospital last year and underwent a cervical surgery, she did everything as a responsible doctor, or maybe in the role of a ‘mother’. What more to say!
The absolute truth is that only a daughter is able to change the meaning of life for her parents.
The root of everything is our mindset. Being a woman If I won’t support a girl child, a woman, our sisterhood, then who else will? And why? The relationship of a daughter with her family is always devalued. Psychoanalysis has mythologized the positive value of this relationship. Who will change patriarchal mindsets? Well I must say ‘we’ is the right answer. I have gone through a lot of pain, but now I’m enjoying the celebration being the mother of a girl child.
Why do you cry? In your mind, visualise your future with your own blood, your daughter. Imagine it. Is the pain of giving birth to a boy and girl different for a mother?
An exquisite world full of love, care, passion, morality, spiritualism, and fantasy builds her complete personality. What’s her fault that she is born a girl infant? It’s I who gave her birth, so it’s my responsibility to help her to grow up to the fullest extent to be a good citizen irrespective of her gender. She needs a sky of freedom, let her fly… she can be as vibrant as anyone else. Let her learn how to open the parachute when she is in distress. Let her stand in her own feet!
My daughter, I’m your mom your friend forever. Maybe your future is not decided yet, but still I feel times are better. You won’t suffer; you transformed an ordinary mom to a supermom, the strongest woman of the world, who will stand there with you always. An unbreakable bond of mother-daughter to be celebrated forever. Thank you for choosing me.
My first step was to educate myself and to be self reliant. This was a very, very small step as I took admission in +3 Arts, and I had no idea that one day I will qualify for national fellowship for Ph.D, or a day will come when I will be the state topper in PSC. But that small step often proves to be a giant leap not only for me and for my daughter, but for many girls and women folk as a whole. Economical independence brings a confidence and education enhances it. the It opens up mind, broadens the horizon and makes you able to think even beyond. Kadam to chota thaa, lekin change bahut bada, ek lifetime ka hua.
Images source: Pallishree Pattanayak
Asst professor by profession .I protest against each injustice. Strong supporter of female education and
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