I’m Like Me And Half Of My Country

I see my old fashioned body which makes me bewildered at times. Neither the shape of my belly nor the navel is in place. My double-chinned face reminds me of my old guilts or sins, if I may call them. And then, I see the young ones making there ebbs and muscles, ladies going to beauty parlours and their glamorous glowing faces with confident looks.

I watch people counting their bank balance, buying the latest branded cars and what not. I see them go crazy over movie stars and cricket heroes. I boil myself in the summer heat of life where I map how far I have walked and how far to go?

I make kin with a mysterious world with sunshine, forest and my disappeared friends. I feel guilty about not being able to think like my achiever friends. They are good writers and poets with a bundle of books to their credit. They have certificates and awards to their name. They have buildings, luxury cars, holiday packages…Their black eyes and ivory skin shine with pride and I’m busy with my personal diary where I scribble about the struggle of my countrymen who work hard to make ends meet but are unsuccessful. I see the leaders playing cheap political games, a race for power and greed for chair and feel uneasy at my helplessness.

I work on my accents so that I can talk to my tribal brothers and sisters who are living their lives under a shadow country and reciting the National Anthem without knowing even the meaning.

As often as possible, I try to be a lady who rambles around a supermarket with a branded bag, a stylish attire, watch and matching accessories as well. I want to go to the gym to get my body in shape. A high breast, a thin waist, a chiselled nose, lipstick locked lips and an enchanting face.

Alas !I’m afflicted with a chronic disease of smoking. Day in and day out, I’m busy with my cigarettes that contain nicotine of poverty and try to put them in an ashtray as almost half of my country people do!

I’m unable to get a blazing gaze and sheepish attention which I used to get years back. Everything is steady in my life, Yes, almost everything. Everything is steady in the country, Yes, almost everything.

Precisely, I’m able to order Italian pizza and Thai massage too. I can maintain my body and face with ease. But, I don’t want to lose the moments of compassion, the passionate nature to love and sympathy towards my people. My girls who still stand in the line to get their mid-day meal and sleep hungry with just a glass to water to drink on Sunday, eagerly waiting for the 1 pm meal on Monday. Now, do you have the answer? Why I am like me?

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