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Ever felt you do not belong where you are right now? A true story of a descent into a complete loss of confidence.
Yes, I am talking about that exact feeling where you wanted to be somewhere else but due to unwanted situations or restrictions you could not make it !
And when it comes on the female gender, there are way too many restrictions associated to studies, profession, work place and even the timings of going out or returning home. I am sure every girl at least once in life has faced a similar situation like the one I just spoke about.
And soon you do not even realize what have you become, or what do you want anymore in your life; you are so confused by listening to others or rather obeying their orders.
You lose your true self amidst all this and you feel scared of your own dreams which were once upon a time your LIFE. You feel scared and lose self-confidence, you feel that you are not good enough for anything, you stop expressing yourself. Let us see one such situation that has taken place in real.
A girl named Natasha was truly passionate about her dance and acting skills. After her 10th results, came the dreaded decision of choosing a stream she would be interested in for pursuing her 12th. She was confused. Her father expected her to be a C.A. and she hated Mathematics & Accounts!
As she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do in her life she chose Science to be safe so that if in future she wanted to change her stream to Arts or Commerce it would not cause any hindrance. She was super excited when she joined her college, participating in all fests and events related to performing arts like drama & dance.
She was offered a chance to be a choreographer by her trainer who saw the potential and the passion in her and she was super excited. But her happiness did not last too long when she shared this with her family. They put her down saying, “Do you plan on being a bar dancer? What kind of profession is dancing or acting? How much would you earn? This is not a respectable profession!” Dream shattered.
After her 12th results, she decided she wanted to pursue Event Management. “If not on the stage at least she could be part of the stage, performances or its planning at the back end,” she thought.
But guess what? She was denied pursuing that as well. Because according to her parents, girls in event management work till late night. Girls are not safe in this profession, and it would get a bad name to the family if the girl would arrive late at night from work. No one will marry the girl and will consider her some cheap trash and characterless… another dream shattered!
And now after 7-8 years, she is no longer the same jovial, confident girl, which she once was. Scared to pursue anything in life, lost her beautiful dreams because of the bondage of society and family pressure. Now she’s just a lost soul in this dreaded world of restrictions even in this modern 21st century.
Here’s a cheer to all the girls who are independent, capable of making their own decisions and have great support from their family and friends. It might not be noticed nowadays, but even the most modern outgoing girls you see face these problems.
Now is the time to be what you want to be and do what you want to do, and not what others expect you to be or do!
Image source: pixabay
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My house-help asked excitedly, “I am going for wedding. Can you let me wear your red & black saree? To be honest I was stumped for a moment; I didn’t know what to say but I still said yes.
I lent a gorgeous saree to my house-help for a wedding in her family. Soon I stated getting questions if I would wear that saree again or if I was okay to be seen wearing the same saree my house-help was wearing?
We are all so conditioned to give our used clothes to our house-helps but are we okay to wear the clothes they were wearing?
A few days ago she came excitedly to me, “I am going for a family wedding. I want to wear your red & black saree, Ill wash and give it to you after the function. Please can you let me wear it?”
Beauty is a very clever, very evil capitalist tool. It traps those who have it into hanging on to it for dear life and those who don't into mutilating, torturing themselves to achieve the unachievable.
I recently wrote a piece about MP Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in which he had shared a pic with six women parliamentarians tagging them and saying “Who says the Lok Sabha isn’t an attractive place to work?”
There was a rash of comments on the post shared on Instagram, which ranged from “chill, it’s just a compliment” and “stop overthinking compliments”, to (worried) men lamenting about “these feminazi”.
Here’s my answer to all those comments.
"Why you have reduced your identity to being wife –daughter of somebody? That’s not your only identity. You are gifted, you need to be known, appreciated liked or criticized for your own qualities and work."
“Why you have reduced your identity to being wife –daughter of somebody? That’s not your only identity. You are gifted, you need to be known, appreciated liked or criticized for your own qualities and work.”
“So you are the one??”
“Is that a question or statement that you made?”
Parents are human after all. Please, let's cut ourselves some slack here, and not fall prey to the peer pressure of following all the parenting advice that pops up online.
Parents are human after all. Please, let’s cut ourselves some slack here, and not fall prey to the peer pressure of following all the parenting advice that pops up online.
Parenting is a joyous journey for all of us, no matter what our stories are. Having said that, parenting is also hard at times; not knowing if we are doing the right thing or not; and amidst all this confusion it doesn’t help to find news feeds like: ’10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child’… Imagine an anxious mom is scrolling down her news feed after a meltdown with her kid and finds an article like that. What good is that going to do?
Every situation is different and so is every parent and child. I agree there are some hurtful things that shouldn’t be said to a child, but saying that it will scar your child for life and totally crush his self- esteem, is just wrong! On the contrary, these type of articles are the ones crushing the confidence of moms around the world.