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My sister spoke up when her marriage was being fixed with a groom whose family was asking for a dowry. We need to speak up and be the change we want to see.
“You just book the flat, I’ll speak to the groom’s family. They shall be ready for the marriage,” said the person over the phone.
“But my daughter is against this, she will not accept it,” said my mother.
“Bhabhiji what has she got to do with all this? She is the bride, you are her parent. You know dowry is a custom,” he replied back.
My 25 year old unmarried sister who was an Orthopedic doctor heard this conversation. She immediately took the phone from my mother and disconnected the call, and looked at my mother.
My mother asked her, “Why did you cut the call? What’s wrong with you?”
My sister asked, “Something is wrong with me? What do I look to you? Am I a commodity? A burden for you?”
“Are you mad? You’re my daughter! You are perfect, there is nothing wrong about you my child. I am just concerned about your future,” my mother replied.
With a sad face, my sister then said, “Mummy did you educate me to see a day like today? And what is wrong with my future? I am well educated, getting salary of almost 1 lakh a month. If someone wants to marry me, I should be enough for him and his family… don’t you think so?”
She continued, “Mom you are insulting your own daughter by giving a dowry. Am I not good enough for the groom’s family that you’re bribing them with dowry to get that boy married to me? If you don’t respect me, how do you expect his family to respect me after you get me married? Instead of getting married into such a family I would prefer being unmarried!”
My mother’s eyes was filled with tears. She picked up her phone and called back the same man who she was speaking to before and said, “Bhaiyyaji Please say no to the groom’s family. I would not like to get my daughter married into a family where they give material things more importance than my beautiful daughter. My daughter is educated, and good enough to get suitors who would marry her for the beautiful soul that she possesses and not Dowry. I am proud of my daughter and respect her decisions.” After stating this, she disconnected the call.
My sister hugged my mother and they both cried, not in sorrow but in happiness.
Be bold enough to bring in change and to stand by it!
Image source: pixabay
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In the last few days I was having a conversation with my younger sister about relationships, and she said something which hit me hard.
I have seen a lot of people feel uncomfortable sharing their age, but I have no such hesitations. I am 32 years old and my younger cousins tell me that I belong to the ‘old generation’. If you are born in the year 1990, you are still considered among them, but if a year less – 1989, you are from the old school.
Being an elder sister, my cousins come to me seeking advice about studies, career and relationships, but when I try to help in the way I understand, the only reply I get is, “Didi, leave it, you’ll not understand it. Aapki generation aur hamari generation mein bahut fark hai. (There’s a lot of difference between your and my generation).”
In the last few days I was having a conversation with my younger sister about relationships, and she said something which hit me hard. Though she is from the new generation and I am from the so-called old generation, we share a lot of mutual thoughts and interests. We spoke about love, how the generation born after the year 2000 perceives love.
You ask any SATC fan. We all wanted a friendship like the one that the 4 girls shared. A friendship that was a rock. A friendship that seemed to withstand the tests of time and in general, life.
I confess that SATC (Sex and the City) has a special place in my heart. I must have watched the 6 seasons and every single episode at that, countless times. Seriously, there was nothing like sitting back with a glass of wine, a bar of dark chocolate and an episode of SATC, after a hard day at work. It renewed me. Made me laugh.
So much so, that I even ended up going for the special SATC bus tour when I visited New York in 2019.
Now some may call the show frivolous but for me, it was pure, honest entertainment. I was in love with the fashion, the ‘fabulousness’, the fun! And it had its moments as well. Moments that were truly thought-provoking, moments that made its viewers take a good, candid look at their own relationships, particularly their female friendships.