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It is 2017, but our society still lives in the dark ages as far as women are concerned - proven by how difficult realizing dreams still is for the average woman!
It is 2017, but our society still lives in the dark ages as far as women are concerned – proven by how difficult realizing dreams still is for the average woman!
They say every person in this world has the freedom of dreaming of a life of his/her own choice. But when it comes to realizing those dreams, this freedom ceases. And then you face the harsh reality of the society; that there are ‘*Conditions Applied’ for realizing dreams as well.
Everyone talks about women empowerment, feminism, gender equality, creating opportunities for women, giving them a platform to prove their worth and what not, only for us to realize that these also come with conditions. Being born and brought up in families that give greater importance to society and have only one question in their mind, “What will people say?” before they even think about what their daughters want to do in their lives, these daughters stop dreaming of anything different from what is commonly followed in the society.
Education, job, and marriage are definitely the three most important things in everyone’s life, which they wish to make a choice about, and would want their interests to be given priority. But when it comes to girls, we are not given the freedom or opportunity to decide or express what we want and what we wish to do.
What stream of education to pursue, what job to do, whom to marry – every decision in a girl’s life is made by their parents, who are constantly under the influence of the society that tells them that girls have to do only those things that would please a guy and his family, so as to remain in their good looks, which would further make it easy when they have to get her married.
Even in this 21st century there are a lot of parents, and yes, parents who are highly educated and call themselves ‘modern’, who still feel that the ultimate goal in their lives is to get their daughters married in decent families.
At this juncture, I would like to ask all these respectable parents:
Right from the time a girl has to choose a stream of education that interests her, she is told that she needs to choose only the stream that everyone else chooses. And most of the time, Indian parents find a professional degree that puts her a notch up in the marriage market to be the safest stream. They can give reasons as annoying as, “You will get an engineer husband only if you have an engineering degree”. Her desire to pursue something of her interest is never encouraged or supported.
The decision of whether to do a job or not is also not hers. Girls are always told that she is supposed to do what her husband and in-laws ask her to do. If the guy wants you to work, you have to. If he doesn’t want you to work, then you shouldn’t. Where is the freedom of choice for the girl here? She is deprived of the right to make a choice and is ought to follow their decisions.
Things become even worse for a girl who dreams of becoming an entrepreneur or a business woman. The great ‘society’ gives a thrashing to her dremas, to judge this decision of hers and to tell her how wrong it is and that it is completely out of their rules book. She is discouraged, brainwashed and forced to give up even before she could put her first step towards realizing this dream.
Every girl dreams of how her life partner should be. She has an idea and image of what he should look like, what kind of qualities he should possess and many other things that she would love to see in him. But when she meets a guy, honestly, she puts all these things aside and only tries to understand what kind of a person he is and makes a decision based only on whether she likes this guy, just the way he is. No girl wants to or plans to change a guy according to her interests. But she is not supposed to expect things to be the same way with her as well. She needs to change a lot of things in her. Be it her physique, personality, hairstyle, dressing style or even her job, often girls are asked to change a lot of things in them, even if they don’t wish to.
The world is progressing at an unimaginably great pace. Education is made affordable and reachable to everyone in every corner of the world. Development is amazingly high in every field. Yet, we are unable to break the stereotypes and progress in terms of our way of thinking and perceptions. People do watch and appreciate movies like Dangal which show that girls are in no way inferior or incapable compared to boys, but they often fail to grasp and follow the lesson that the movie tries to teach them.
I have always believed that my dream is the only thing that wouldn’t get influenced or affected by others. But I am afraid, this world is trying to prove me wrong.
Image source: pixabay
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A Post Graduate in Electronics and Communication Engineering from Andhra University. A Content Developer, an avid reader, writer, blogger, and a trained Carnatic classical singer. Founder of a content marketing agency called TEXTKART. Founder and read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
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I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
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