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Women's sexuality is a completely taboo topic in our country - how dare they have desires and enjoy sex? Then they must be #AskingForIt!
Women’s sexuality is a completely taboo topic in our country – how dare they have desires and enjoy sex? Then they must be #AskingForIt!
Sex is a taboo topic to be discussed by Indians. It’s an irony that we are the world’s second most populated country and yet shy away from an emotion as normal as sex. Parents never discuss it, censor board shies away, moral police decide the do’s and don’ts. A movie like Lipstick Under My Burkha still doesn’t release.
Women, of course, cannot express or discuss their sexuality freely at any age! Their ‘character’ is judged based on their sexual preferences or needs. Right from the time when a girl is young, she is taught that no boy should touch her but the parents never clearly state what touch! A girl is wary even if a boy gives her a peck, a hug, or taps her shoulder! Clearly, the difference between good touch and bad touch is not stated!
A girl is encouraged to remain virgin so that her future husband ‘loves and respects’ her because of her ‘clean character’! Ridiculous, isn’t it? Nobody really bothers about the virginity of the boy!
Even today, in this 21st Century, most women still cannot express their sexual fantasies and desires freely, even to their husbands, lest they be branded as sluts! A teenage boy’s hormones can be raging, but not a girl’s! A man can discuss his sexcapades freely and boast about it and be labelled as a stud, but what if the woman does the same?
A widow or a divorcee is not supposed to have any sexual desire. She is expected to remain chaste and celibate to prove that she is of ‘good character’, to prove her loyalty. A mother cannot have normal sexual desires; she is supposed to be a ‘role model’ for her children. It doesn’t matter that she is single-handedly struggling and working to give her kids a good life and imparting them with good values.
Marital rape is not even considered a crime. A woman has no right over her own body. A husband is the master of her body.
When will our country stop equating a woman’s character with her sexuality and sexual desires? Is that a character is all about? Why the hypocrisy? Why not judge the men using the same parameters of virginity, premarital sex, extramarital sex, one night stands or it is believed that only men have ‘sexual hormones’ and women don’t!
One more area where gender equality has still a long way to go.
Image source: freestockphotos
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I am a travel expert by profession and an avid blogger by passion. Parenting and women's issues are something that are close to my heart and I blog a lot about them. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: