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Educating the girl child everywhere in India should be made possible by educating the people about its importance and changing mindsets.
3 to 4 years back, I was a lecturer in a college, and really enjoyed my job. Teaching is in my blood so it would have been surprising if I had not been in the education field. I also love interacting with people. I have never been nervous before going to class; not even on the first day!
I always tried to get to know my students as people. Apart from their names and the cities they belonged to, one thing I was interested in the most was, “What would you do after graduation?”
Of course, I did not expect to hear, “I want to become a CEO!” as I could always understand their state of mind at that level of student life. It is always good to set the highest goal, but it is better to focus on the nearer goals because these are the steps you will be taking to reach the final stage; your ultimate goal. You can call it being down to earth or being grounded.
I had been in their place just a few years ago. So I could easily understand their dilemma.
Why did I ask this question? One thing was very clear in my mind – never put pressure on the students. Make them love the subject, instead of forcing them to memorize it. To avoid monotony and boredom in the classroom, I tried to be expressive during lectures (just to keep them away from random yawning!) and to do this, I often asked them various questions and “What would you do after graduation?” was one of my usual questions.
Almost everyone answered with excitement and happiness in voice. Everyone spoke of different Masters programmes. But I was shocked by what one girl said.
This was a girl who always sat in the first row and took the corner chair. She was very accurate in her work and particular in assignments and attendance. A studious, bright and aspiring!
She said with her usual smile, “I will not study further.”
“What?” was my reaction!
She repeated, “I will not study. I am allowed to study till graduation only. In my family, girls are not allowed to study more.”
A LOSS. A great Loss. I was in shock and still am in. Is that really possible? Can someone really tell you not to study? I could not digest the thing that this could actually happen.
We live in a country where we believe that the future of the country is in the hands of youngsters. And we also believe that education is the true strength of development. How can illiteracy rule the nation? It cannot. It simply cannot.
There are many children in the country like this girl who are bright and can be brighter citizens who can help the country in many terms. But why are we stopping them? Why don’t we believe in educating the girl child?
One reason which I learned was the marital issue. They believe that if the girl is more educated, the family may face the problem in finding a suitable groom. So ultimately, the girl would not live a happy life.
One more reason came: “Why should we spend so much money on daughter’s education? She will get married and will leave the house, so why should we INVEST in her education? Her husband will do whatever he feels like.”
These reasons are extremely strange to me. I am sure that they are not to them who have set these reasons.
But I wonder will it ever change? If it will, then when and how?
Yes, we are working towards women empowerment and educating the girl child. But there is still a portion of the society which has not changed yet. And we cannot ignore this portion if we are to make any lasting change for our girls and women.
Let’s make one such country where no girl will say, “I am not allowed to study.”
Published here earlier.
Image source: flickr, for representational purposes only.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).