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Insisting on a normal delivery, when it could become dangerous to the baby or the mother - how can these be decided by the family, instead of the attending doctor?
Insisting on a normal delivery, when it could become dangerous to the baby or the mother – how can these be decided by the family, instead of the attending doctor?
It is the biggest reason to celebrate when they get the news that their daughter-in-law, Ridhima is expecting a baby. The days turn into festivals, joys are all around, preparations are going full fledged to welcome a new member, each sonography is so exciting for the nervous parents-to-be, anxiety increases day by day.
Surrounded by mixed emotions, Ridhima is feeling a hidden torture. Constant expressions of expectations of a baby boy from the family members directly or indirectly making her more nervous. Sometimes she forgets the joy of having a baby inside her. This is disturbing her very much.
But this is not all. The next ‘demand’ covered up by the name of ‘expectation’ is the type of delivery, which has to be ‘normal’. That’s all they can say. After all, all of them hardly know of the science behind the procedure of delivery. Only two things are crystal clear: a healthy baby boy who will be their heir and a normal delivery, and then they add: and yes, Ridhima’s health.
Throughout the nine-months, they could not be sure whether it would be a normal delivery or cesarean section (C-section) as the baby’s head was not getting engaged. For the normal delivery, the head needs to be engaged. It was all the doctor could tell the family to make them understand in the simplest language.
The day comes. Everybody is waiting for the doctor’s decision; when to go for the delivery. Or in the other words, everybody is waiting for the doctors to say that the head is engaged, and we can go for the normal delivery, and “Congratulations! It’s a baby boy!”
The doctor comes out and says to wait for a day as the head is still not engaged. He tells Ridhima to keep observing the flickering of the baby. But he also suggests them to go for the C-section if they want. After all it is up to the mother and her family members. But in some cases, it is only up to the family members. And this one is the same case. The family decides to wait for a day.
In the mid-night, when Ridhima observes that the flickering has stopped, they rush to the hospital. Ridhima gets admitted and gives birth to a dead child (still birth). End of the story. End of all the dreams which she had been having all those nine months just because of lack of knowledge and old, typical “Manyatas” which just killed someone before he/she could see the beautiful world.
This sounds so usual and familiar. Our societies still have such orthodox people who are living in the 21stcentury, yet lacking enough knowledge. They really don’t know the scientific reasons behind each particular thing. They may have degrees and may be very good in their respected professions, but they often fail to understand the facts because they still believe in ‘Manyatas’ and ‘Blind-faiths’.
In this case, members of Ridhima’s family wanted a boy child. But they did not know that it is not in Ridhima’s hand. It is all about science. More precisely, it is all about chromosomes. The same situation was with the type of delivery. You cannot risk someone’s life just for the sake of your own mindset toward a particular thing; a normal delivery. It can be up to the situations. These things are too sensitive. You should not interfere if you don’t have proper knowledge of it. Let the experts decide.
There is one more example which came to light. One more mother lost her baby boy just for the desire of a normal delivery. When other people showed sympathy and consoled the family, the family proudly said, “Yes. But it was a normal delivery after all.” Shocking, isn’t it? What they still cared about was ‘Normal Delivery’!
In one example, waiting for normal delivery led to major complications where umbilical cord wrapped around the neck of fetus and it resulted in stillbirth. In some cases, amniotic fluid decreased. And on asking, the family says, ‘It was all God’s wish’. Isn’t it unfair?
Is it some kind of achievement if a girl has a normal delivery? Are you wining a battle over a C- section? Is it some kind of EGO? Why are you being your own enemy?
Why don’t we have programs like childbirth education not only for parents-to-be, but for the entire family where they would be taught all the scientific procedures and changes right from the day of conception to the gestation period to the day of the delivery with a clear logic. Not everybody would have science background, so considering all type of people, such programs are extremely required. And if there is any, then why it is not reaching to everybody? Lack of proper network is the reason? No. That cannot be the reason. Most of the urban and rural areas have access to Internet. And if not, then programs should be arranged for such people who cannot get access to the resources easily.
Only money and power cannot bring a life back into the world. I wish they were literate enough to bring a life into the world.
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For International Day of Elimination of Violence Against Women, let's look at how we 'accept' mothers who avenge violence against their kids, but not wives who fight back.
The silver screen is replete with depictions of male rage and men engaging in violence, but when women engage in violence, even when it is reactionary violence, it doesn’t sit right with us. We allow mothers (as portrayed in Sridevi’s Mom and Raveena Tandon’s Maatr) to avenge their daughters and resort to violence when all else fails, but when the abuser is an intimate partner, the rules appear to be different.
Depictions of female rage on screen garner mixed reactions. We root for protagonists and films we agree with like Mom or Maatr, but there are also films like Darlings which drew flak for its depictions of reactionary violence.
This begs the question, which women on screen are allowed to fight back and why do we root for some of these characters while refusing to see where others come from?
This Generation To Generation Violence towards A Daughter-in-law Needs To Stop!
It is ironic how women in the same home do not think twice before harassing a woman who left her parents and family behind to live with her husband.
“My daughter needs a husband who listens to her. He should leave his family to stay with her after marriage. He should be well-off and not let her do chores.”
“I also need an obedient daughter-in-law, who will be an unpaid servant and a punching bag who shouldn’t have a life of her own.”
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