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A brutally honest letter from one Indian girl to the country, telling it as it is, and demanding her autonomy and due respect from a patriarchal nation.
Dear India,
As much as I am proud to stand for the woman in me, I can’t help but feel helpless to be born as a girl in this country. As a woman, I have to fight for anything and everything, which comes as natural to the opposite gender. Of course, you won’t accept my allegations; after all, you are a country where patriarchal traditions prevail.
I am tired of battling judgment that comes my way from all the corners of the society. Since childhood we are told what to wear, how to conduct, our time lines are set, and basically every decision of our life is monitored. I can’t even question, because that contradicts the tight and limited mould I am suppose to fit in as a woman. Please realize that I am not Cinderella and I don’t want to get in those shoes. I want to build my own fairytale, my own empire, where I am free and liberated.
When I should get married and have a child should be my choice. I don’t want to be governed by the stereotypical expectations, which don’t meet my timelines. A live-in relationship makes me an easier bait. But wait, aren’t there two required for a live-in relationship? Also, smoking and drinking is hazardous to health for women only? No. Really? Then why are we only subject to the criticism? I have bruised my throat and inner self by asking these questions and many more, but instead of answers, more condemn comes my way.
One may think that it prevails in the rural areas, but I write from the urban ones. I can’t fathom what the underprivileged women go through. They might not even realise that they are born with the thinking and questioning power. They accept their fate as the definition of a woman.
Even after staying amidst an educated crowd, I am judged for my period stains. Cramps are not as painful as the the looks you get from public. FYI – Yes I bleed, and no, I don’t bleed blue. Funny how people created from the same remnant of woman’s body cleansing, can raise eyebrows for it.
Not once, but there are many instances that the world limited my capacity for achievement, just because I was born a woman. Pick a newspaper and you’ll find how many times I was tormented, judged, and put to shame, while the culprits were set free.
Don’t tell me what time to get indoor, don’t advice me on my dress code, don’t tell me what job profile suits my gender, don’t tell me what a ‘sabya naari’ should do. First provide me with a ‘sabhya’ nation! We, the women of India demand that.
Before you wrap a veil on me, or put a tape on my lips, please unveil your eyes to the judgment that surrounds the women of this country. We were and will keep fighting, but a little help will ensure to reach a healthy nation faster.
Being optimistic, One Indian Girl, speaking for many.
Published here earlier.
Image source: vecteezy
I did my MBA in finance and was part of the corporate world of market research for 5.5 years (on and off). I'm a mother of a beautiful and demanding baby girl. I' read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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