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Mom and dad are both responsible for a child. When women are mom shamed for any choice they might make, why no dad shaming? Unfair!
I love John Legend and his songs. Last year, wifey Chrissy Teigen got trolled online for going out for dinner with him shortly after giving birth to baby Luna, leaving the child alone at home of course with a babysitter. John Legend, the man of substance, raised a right question – that why he wasn’t he subjected to dad shaming for not staying at home for the baby and for taking Chrissy out for dinner, as he is an equal contributor in the parenting process. Bravo John!
Well, especially in India, when it comes to parenting and childcare, mothers are certainly overburdened. And if by any chance a mother opts to continue her career, she is subjected to a lot of criticism that she has to deal with all her life. The guilt of leaving the baby at home or the daycare gets fuelled by such condemnations.
But I think we ladies are strong. Since societies around the globe have always been harsh on us, we have developed some mental adaptations against these fault-finding habits of the society. But unfortunately, dads always have an escape route from such criticisms. Unfair isn’t it? Even the latest amendment on maternity benefit didn’t talk much about the father’s contribution as a caregiver.
As an outcome of performing three exhaustive duties (role of a homemaker, a mother and a professional) simultaneously, we women hamper our health, or we settle for a less challenging job, or take a break from our current job to pursue our role of a mother. Self-pampering is out of question; if you see a woman with bushy eyebrow, dry skin, chapped lips, and messy hair, it’s a sure bet that she is a mommy. And if you could not exhaust yourself as per the society’s standards for an ‘Ideal Mother’ then be ready to be tagged as a bad mother.
When the women are at par with their male counterparts at work in terms of calibre, it is painful to accept and settle for anything less regarding their work profile.
With a growing kid the responsibility and difficulty of managing home and office increases, and so is the evaluation by the family and relatives of your parenting report card. It is not easy to make a balance between home and office, and with the kid, the challenges shoot up by ten times. And definitely, a husband is the only person we can count on. Kudos to those men who are sensible and mature enough to understand their responsibilities both as a husband and as a father!
When we (husband and wife) as parents have an equal role in seeding a beautiful life in the womb, then why it is that the mother always has to walk alone on this tightrope test of the society on nurturing lessons?
Why is the father’s role is confined to that of a breadwinner, especially when the mother is contributing equally in bringing the finances up for the family, sometimes actively by working like how a man does and sometimes passively by saving the husband’s salary and by spending the money judiciously?
Why a dad never criticised for not taking care of the baby? Why no dad shaming?
Image source: shutterstock
A mother of a toddler. An accidental blogger, I have explored a writer in me of late. And I am glad there are platforms available on the internet that promotes and care about what an read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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