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Patriarchy is bad for women, yes. But patriarchy is bad for men too! Fathers who do not know how to express their feelings, suffer!
We have come to recognise that patriarchy hurts women in so many ways, from depriving them of education, fulfilment of dreams and their full potential, to more drastic problems like domestic abuse and rape.
But patriarchy hurts men too. Just like patriarchy forces women in to domestic roles, it pushes men away from having close emotional ties with their family. Men are expected to be the bread winners and take on authoritarian roles with little room for softness and emotion. Honest communication and expression of vulnerabilities is seen as a sign of weakness in men. This makes it difficult for many men to openly express affection for their children, even though they may feel great love for them.
This poem is about the barrier created by a patriarchal society that, sometimes, makes it difficult for a father to communicate his love for his daughter.
Of Fathers And Daughters
The day she was born,
his joy knew no bounds
But his happiness,
could find no sounds.
He knew not how to hug
He knew not how to kiss
He knew not how to be
Affectionate with little miss
When she succeeded,
he experienced pride
But in her,
he could never confide
He felt her pain,
when he saw her suffer
But his shoulder,
he could not offer
When she left home,
he knew he would miss her
But he couldn’t
bring himself to tell her
He wanted to ask,
how she was coping
Instead he asked
What she was studying
They talked about
Einstein, Bradman and Sartre
But they never could share
a heart to heart
Patriarchy imposes useless and harmful restrictions on both men and women, curtailing their freedom, confining them to specific roles they may or may not be well suited for. It is time we break free of the of the cage of patriarchy so everyone can play to their strengths independent of their gender.
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Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
Kanika G, a physicist by training and a mother of 2 girls, started writing to entertain her older daughter with stories, thus opening the flood gates on a suppressed passion. Today she has written over read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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