Every Motherhood Journey Is Different, Please Do Not Judge Plainly

A mum is completely drained of time, effort, and patience. She has to run behind the little one the whole day long, in addition to taking care of the house and her work.

Have you ever noticed that almost all of us are shaped up with two uncontrollable tendencies in life?

  • Assumption
  • Judgment

We are too quick to assume and judge other people, even quicker than a flash. We would not attempt to hear the full story. Furthermore, we would not take an effort to understand their hardships.

Likewise, we will not even know the actual reason behind what’s happening. But all we will do is narrate what they should have/should not have done to avoid what is happening. As easy as the wind!

The assumptions and judgments of the people around us are sure to impact us in all phases of our life. But it’s a tough row to hoe, especially during the motherhood phase. I haven’t realized it until I experienced it myself.

Saga of never-ending judgement

Many of us would have had the following thoughts on seeing a baby/toddler:

‘Why is the baby allowed to watch TV? It’s unhealthy for her eyes. When I become a mum, I’ll never do so.’

‘Why is this toddler watching this video day in and day out? This is neither fruitful nor educational. Why can’t his mum play other videos which will teach him colours, letters, shapes, etc.?’

‘What a picky eater this child is! Avoiding so many fruits and veggies is not good for health. Children are like fresh clay. A mother has to mould them in the right way. His mom should have taken efforts right from the beginning to make her child a healthy eater.’

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‘Look! The baby is eating a full chocolate bar. Mommies should not introduce chocolates to babies at this early stage.

‘Formula-fed baby? Why doesn’t the mum feed her baby with breast milk? Formula milk will make baby chubby but not immune strong!’

‘Cookies for snacks to school? Why not give sprouts, lentils, fruits?’

‘Hasn’t weaned off yet? Your toddler is already 2. How will you manage in public places? You should have stopped feeding long back. Now it is going to be very tough for you to wean off. You made a big mistake.’

‘Look at the child’s arrogant behaviour. His mom should have been strict with him right from the start and taught him to be calm and polite. Now he is off limits.’

‘Why is the mother overprotective of her child? This overprotective nature will surely impact the later stages of the child’s life.’

‘Babies of this girl’s age are crawling freely and have even started walking. But this baby isn’t sitting up yet. I think the mother had overlooked the nutritional deficiency in her baby.’

‘How can you resume work so quickly? The motherhood phase in life is precious. If I were in your place, I would take a break in my career and would have enjoyed the whole journey.’

‘You carried your baby always. And now your baby got used to the warmness and isn’t ready to be put up in bed. This is why I kept on telling you not to carry your baby often.’

‘If your toddler cries asking for something, just let them cry as such. Don’t give them what they ask. If you keep satisfying their wishes now, then they will become adamant in the future.’

So on and so forth…!

It is not easy!

Until I became a mom, I never realized that there is a big story behind each of the above-mentioned scenarios. It is very easy to see things from the outside and immediately voice out our opinion.

But only a mother knows why she landed in that phase, and it’s not easy for her either to handle it.

A mum is completely drained of time, effort, and patience. She has to run behind the little one the whole day long, in addition to taking care of the house and her work.

The next time we see a mom-toddler duo, let’s take efforts to relate to the mum’s difficulties. Let’s try to convey our thoughts empathetically, instead of judging/blaming her parenting style.

Image source: CanvaPro

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About the Author

Gayathri Venkatesan

Instructional Designer by profession; Writer by passion. A self sculpting mother exploring life in various dimensions. read more...

15 Posts | 8,225 Views

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