We Glorify Moms Who Give Birth Screaming In Pain But Shame Those Who Have A C-Section…

A C section may not be a choice, or it may be a choice. How does it matter how a woman gives birth? Doesn't make her less of a mother.

What I am doing here now was, is and will always make my heart light. Sharing my thoughts through words where others can reflect. Back me with a straight yes or not, that’s up to them.

I recently delivered a baby girl and this beautiful event of my life made me realise how some things have been glorified around us, that we tend to make women a “murti of sacrifice” (epitome of sacrifice).

Some treat childbirth as if we women are meant and are here in this world only to do this thing after marriage, as though we do not have any other identity apart from this.

We are also judged for the way we choose to deliver the baby

Glorification of normal delivery is so hyped that if someone has a C-section, people don’t even try to listen the reason behind the choice, they are ready with two autogenerated statements, either

  • ‘aajkal ki ladkiyaan kahan seh paati hai dard’ or
  • ‘doctors prefers the easy and sooner way, that is C-sec, at last your delivery was on Sunday, who wants to spoil his/her Sunday in order to wait this long for a normal deliver’.

If not these two, then ‘private hospitals are like this only, they want to empty the bed sooner, so they prefer C-sec, so that they can admit another patient’. 

I pondered a lot and found my answers. C-sec is not always a ‘choice’ and also that having a normal delivery doesn’t automatically make a woman ‘strong’. I do not deny a bit that any of these option is easy. Motherhood itself is a big change for a woman. Judging a woman on basis of this is not good. 

My story of giving birth

I had a smooth pregnancy; I worked almost 8.5 months and then applied for my maternity.

That morning I was admitted to the hospital due to leaking water slowly. I didn’t get any contractions or anything. I was given pain inducing medicine (dose way more than normal), still I didn’t feel anything. When my gynaecologist arrived my water was leaking quickly and she didn’t want to wait any more. She said that if we wait more and later we have to opt for a C-sec, it might create unnecessary complications.

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When my family didn’t agree to this, she became a little angry. Honestly, I saw her like this for the first time, else she was always an extremely calm and old school personality. Though everyone supported me, everyone including my husband felt that the C-section would give me a scar that might vanish or not, but if I would have pushed a bit I might had a normal delivery.

Push? What? When? Without any pains?

We glorify the mother who gives birth only through pain

This is like so deep rooted that we forget the criteria of choice or circumstance. We always glorify delivery by portraying a woman screaming in pain during labour. 

Remember 3 Idiots where Mona Singh had a normal delivery even if they used suction pumps? Honestly suction pumps are way more dangerous than a C-section. Also recently I watched the new release, “Tu Jhoothi Main Makkar”. At the end when they showed Shraddha Kapoor in the labour room, giving birth was showed by screaming and she even slapped Ranbir Kapoor, which shows how much pain she was in. 

Have we ever heard in any daily soap or any movie about C-section, the normalities and circumstance based decisions? The answer is a big NO!

I am not here to ask for any sympathy or anything, I just want to feel normal and want others to feel normal about any way of giving birth. It is a beautiful journey for new parents and let’s be supportive about it.

Image source: a still from the film ’83

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About the Author

Geetika K. Bakshi

A passionate scribbler and wishful bread earner. A working professional in an embassy and a freelancer French language trainer. A voracious reader and loves to connect readers and writers. Author of Ibiza by Geetika Kaura ( read more...

40 Posts | 60,546 Views

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