5 Life Lessons Through Loss From Uunchai, The New Amitabh Bachchan Starrer

In life, no matter what our age is, or how rich and successful we are, the ultimate truth about life is death. Sometimes death comes with shattering many lives connected by blood or by deeds. I am talking about the movie Unnchai starring Amitabh Bachchan, Boman Iran, Anupam Kher, Danny, Neena Gupta, Parineeti Chopra and Sarika. A few other supporting characters.

The movie not only has a strong plot but also deep lessons about life.

I tried to reflect on a few and share them here with you all. Please take out a little time and share your views.

Amitabh Ji as Amit speaks of how when we as parents can leave or keep away our children from certain events by saying “this is for elders”. then when we get old why it is difficult for them (or maybe for us when we will be old) to accept it when the kids say we want to celebrate or attend a certain ceremony without the elders?

Many households are still holding on to this that a child is supposed to follow what the elders impose. Instead, living life on their own terms makes them close to each other, and it indeed develops an understanding we all want.

So it is high time we must stop imposing on them what happened to us when we were a child or what was imposed on us. Can we become the wave of change? Can we love our children with how they are and what they want to do?

A marriage doesn’t mean that we must rely on just each other

The major rule for marriage is to live and let live. Most of the time it is expected from both genders to leave behind the life they used to live, once they are married, especially from the wife. She is expected to end her personal choices and start living entirely for the new family, husband and for their children.

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In a marriage, it is very important to learn to live with each other, for each other and also sometimes without each other too. To taste the food you love as an individual, to shop for yourself every now and then so that you won’t forget your favourite style and colour. Life is extremely unpredictable so with a loss it is always difficult to move on, but it becomes more difficult when we forget to learn to live without each other.

Often there is no tomorrow; there is only today

This is something I relate to a lot.

I got married 3 years ago and since then I have tried to give every possible happiness to my parents, sometimes by celebrating major events, sometimes planning for important future events. But what I have with me today is just what I did in last 3 years with them, as any future planning just washed away with the sudden demise of my mother.

I am somewhere glad that I could celebrate small happinesses and events with her. I made short videos of her laughing out loud and clicked pictures of her smiling face.

Sometimes we say we have time, but sometimes we hardly do. Living life on your own terms is important but while doing so always try to fully live the real-time we have in hand. Sometimes planning for the future is not what we actually get to celebrate. Life lies more in today and less in the future. The movie is yet another example of “har pal yahan jee bhar ke jiyo; kya pata kal ho na ho?” (Live every moment fully; because we don’t know if we have a tomorrow).

No matter what we can’t become that plate of perfect Raajma Chawal everyone loves

Growing up we usually make many people upset by the decisions we make. Some will understand us, some won’t. They might have their own Uunchai (heights) in life to climb.

Accept the fact that we can’t make everyone happy and that’s okay! That just doesn’t mean one shouldn’t try, but if it doesn’t work then it is better to leave with patience. Time sometimes heals and sometimes helps us to forget.

Forgiving is sanity

In life, mistakes happen. It might take us a decade or a whole life to let go of a mistake, but better ones should take note of it.

Not everyone has the talent to live for their loved ones. Some have the wish to live for themselves first and that doesn’t make them selfish or bad. They are just different and have the guts to live their life as per their terms and not what the society dictates them to do so. Live is never black and white; there is a whole lot of grey.

Also, if we are not able to forgive someone that too doesn’t mean we love them any less. Just that people have different ways to grieve.

First published here.

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